An update to I am being precious. But I still wanna go "'urgh you are disgusting"

[Pancakeflipper]

I had to update those of you who offered support and the disgusting helpful suggestions in my original post a few months ago.

I thought of you lot yesterday. Hope some of you are still about. Since my original post and the argy bargy of in-trays versus banana skins, things have been calmer.

Then yesterday it came clear why....

He's not been using my desk to chuck his rubbish onto. Nor the bin.

Yesterday a colleague sniffed a whiff near her desk. She sits opposite my colleague. She investigated and under her desk and crawled to the area under his desk area..... and it's a grave yard of apple cores and banana skins.. He eats, and chucks it under his desk. I counted 12 apple cores and 5 banana skins.

At 10.00am-ish he went to the kitchen came back with a cereal bowl. Apparently no spoons left but I had a used one in my cereal bowl from my cornflakes. He asked if he could have it.. He took it but he didn't go to the kitchen to wash it. He just stuck it in his cereal and used it. I am sooo precious. I would only do that with my close family ( certainly not snorty snotty Great-Uncle Basil) and certain close friends. Not a colleague. Unless totally desperate.

Lunch time came and it was the dreaded jacket potato and cottage cheese. It's dreaded cos' he eats it with a fork. Then to scrap every single bit of cottage cheese juice... he grabs the bowl, turns his right hand into a scoop shape, then scoops around the bowl and licks the side of his hand until satisfied he has got each little drip. It's the grunting noises that my my tummy feel wobbly.

Dunno if link will work - am a linking virgin.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1129956-I-am-being-precious-But-I-still-wanna-go-urgh-you-are-disgusting

Original opening post was:
I am being precious. I work 3 days a week. I sit next to a colleague. It is very obvious whose desk is whose.

They insist on chucking their banana skins ( I hate bananas even with my kids I am cringing cutting up a banana and handling the skins), apple cores, sweet wrappings ( don't mind that easy to pick up) and used teaspoons they used for their yoghurts. With all the lick marks on.

And I want scream " stop chucking it on my desk you gross person. "
But I think I am being precious. So I remove the debris myself shuddering.

Every Monday there are stains on my desk which I have to clean cos' my imagination will go into overdrive on what it is.

I put a in-tray between us last week. It was gone this Monday. He said "there was no room for me coffee, hope you don't mind". Our desks are massive and he has no clutter on his.

I don't want to fall out with him. But how do I get over myself? I need to loosen up.

YADNBU

Have you said anything???

Um, sounds like a health and hygiene issue with all the rotting fruit under the table. It should be reported asap.

Oh God, he's still gross...
And if he's just chucking stuff to rot on the floor surely you can get HR involved???
He's a health (flies/rats/ants) hazard rather than just been [vom] groossssss

urgh what a gross person.

I didn't see your first thread, but do you work with an orangutan?

Can you move your desk to the other side of the office?

You are going to have to be blunt and tell him he is a revolting minger.

Oh you are definitely not BU. That is seriously gross. Urgh.

YANBU. Ugh. the smell of bananas is gross! - But sounds like he's not a delicate little flower so maybe he'd be quite receptive to a straightforward approach. Tell him to stop doing it. Inform him what sort of behaviour is expected in a shared environment. Perhaps he's lacking in social skills (obvs!).

I missed your original thread but have just had a quick read through.

This man sounds utterly repulsive and I would not care about falling out with someone who shows such little respect to his colleagues or environment he works in.

Take Dettol wipes into work with you for your own desk, tell him he is gross and if he doesn't stop being so damn lazy you will be raising a grievance.

< boaking at the mental picture I have of his bathroom >

That's vile! Wouldn't your line manager or above have a word? Or whoever's in charge of buildings? That is so minging!

You're not being precious - you have a right to a decent working environment.

How big is your office/company? Do you have an HR department - they'd be your first point of contact. Or if not a department you should speak to either your line manager or your office manager - depending on who you feel most comforable with.

Ask for it to be dealt with. If its not, invoke the grievance procedure and request a formal hearing. There is lots you can do - you don't have to put up with this.

Do you not have an HR team? I contacted HR and asked to move desks when I had a colleague who noisily blew his nose every ten minutes, with lavish sniffing, snorting and hanky content examination. They moved me immediately.

Either tell HR or tell him. His behaviour isn't acceptable. Is he unwell/depressed? Hoarding apple cores and banana skins might just be an indicator he's too lazy to walk to the bin, but could it perhaps indicate that he has lost the will/ability to take care of himself? Is he clean? Does he smell? Sorry, not read the original thread (or possibly have, but can no longer remember!)

You have to raise this with management i think.

I think you should try telling him to put his food rubbish in the right bin. Is there one in the kitchen? He sounds an idiot, so be sure to talk to him as if he were a particularly obstinate child. Make it crystal clear, eg 'Look, you MUST put all your food waste in , as soon as you have finished with it. The weather is hotting up now and it smells.

Give him one chance... then straight to HR if he transgresses.

And about the coffee cup thing, you need to 'woman up'. JUST TELL HIM. 'No, it is yours, it stays on your side.' I'm a messy person, desk-wise, I have been 'told' before and I am still breathing! NB assume your desks are about the same size?

Get a new spoon and don't let him use it. Tell him you have herpes so can't share!

Put the bin on his desk.

You seem to have a lot of patience. Sorry, but I think I would go ballistic at him.

Please do something - don't just stew and let him carry on.

If you don't want to confront him yourself then go to HR. You shouldn't have to put up with disgusting habits like that.

Seriously. Don't just complain to others. Report him and get it dealt with.

I would have fucking KILLED him by now.

I also feel the same about bananas.

He is a disgusting, filthy oik. Why should you put up with it? He would make me feel ill. I would have a word with HR.

I bet he his doing at as some kind of alpha male, piss-on-your-hands territory marking and superiority gesture.

I wouldn't worry about the spoon - you would presumably be washing it before you use it again anyway? But it shows that his hygiene standards are lower than most people's!

I would speak to management about the filth he's throwing under the desk - it's not the cleaners job to sort that out, and it will smell and attract vermin if it gets left. Up to you if you want to tell him clearly that its unacceptable before you go to management with it.

You a NOT being precious. He is a minger!!!!

You either need to be very plainspeaking with him or you need to report it to HR/management!

You have been tolerating this since January.

Today is the day for death by banana skin for your work baboon colleague.

Rotting fruit leftovers is a breeding ground for flies.

Someone needs to talk to him about that. Does he not have a bin nearby?

The MN posse is behind you, awaiting a further update! Wish we could all storm into your office with you!

There is no need to do anything but escalate it publicly now. Twelve apple cores and 5 banana skins is not a one-off on-deadline mess, but either a sustained campaign or real lack of awareness. Any way, it's disgusting and disrespectful. Make a big and loud public fuss about it. He needs to be shamed.