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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to go camping with 3 small dcs where there is open water?

24 replies

MamaChocoholic · 31/05/2011 19:16

have arranged to go camping as part of a group of families. when we go, ds1 will be 3.5, the dts will be 10mo. just realised the campsite includes a river at one side, and a pond at another. the attraction of camping with this group is partly that we though it would give ds1 a chance to run free with similarly aged children in a safe environment. but with two stretches of open water and a water obsessed ds1, I don't think that is safe. he is my pfb, and there are several families going with similar aged children who are not worried. obviously IABU not to have researched the campsite properly before signing up, but AIBU to think of cancelling? (there are people on a waiting list, so we won't be leaving the group short of money).

OP posts:

worraliberty · 31/05/2011 19:19

I wouldn't cancel, I'd just make sure I or another adult looked after him.

scurryfunge · 31/05/2011 19:21

I would cancel unless you can guarantee 100% supervision at all times and are sure he can't get out of your tent at night.

I couldn't relax tbh so would not want to go.
I wouldn't let a 3.5 year old run free, water or not though.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 31/05/2011 19:22

with 2 crawling dts, dp and I are concerned we may not have enough arms to keep a close eye on all of them in this environment. that's my worry.

OP posts:

beesimo · 31/05/2011 19:25

You will not have a minutes peace from your dark thoughts and worries cancel the holiday or else you will carry on like a demented sheep dog the bairns will have a rotten time your DH will be say 'now then pet calm down' or whatever your DH says every half hour and you will want to bloody strangle him! The other Mams will say you are BEING RIDICULOUS and you'll be on no speaks by the time you come home.

Cut your losses and withdraw from agreement.

worraliberty · 31/05/2011 19:27

I know what you're saying but surely you'd have to look after such a young child in a strange place anyway?

He could wonder off anywhere and get lost. Also, there are usually cars (even if they are maintenance staff's) around.

QuintessentialOldMoo · 31/05/2011 19:28

Three young children, between 3 and 6 has been found dead in water in my local area, the last year. Yanbu.

The most harrowing was a 6 year old boy who went down to the sea by himself while his mum and dad were setting up camp. He was found dead, tangled under a small pier..... We came to this campsite the following day, people were in shock. They thought, at 6, he would be ok for a little while. He had been in the car for 8 hours, and were desperate to play by the sea.

It happens.

bubblecoral · 31/05/2011 19:28

I think I'd cancel and think about going somewhere that I had a chance of being able to relax and not think thoughts of impending doom the whole time.

maddy68 · 31/05/2011 19:29

erm...wouldnt you be watching your child anyway???? he is 3.5???
if there was no water would you be happy to let him roam free? disturb other campers? touch random dogs?
you supervise your child end of!

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 31/05/2011 19:33

the group has booked one field, so it would be just us within the field. many went camping together last year and apparently the kids all had great fun going between tents. so no, hadn't expected that we would closely supervise ds1 within that area, which we imagined was a safe, fenced off area containing only families we know.

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 31/05/2011 19:34

QOM, that's a heartbreaking story. I know it's rare, but if it happened to my child I could never forgive myself. I think I need to persuade dp we need to cancel.

OP posts:

Sylvaniasandwich · 31/05/2011 19:37

I would definitely cancel. I went to a lakeside cottage with a jetty when dd was 18months - no fence round the garden. We just kept the door shut all the time and supervised very closely when outside. The fun of camping is letting the kids run around in a gang - if there is open water you won't be able to do that.

maddy68 · 31/05/2011 19:59

if there was no water there would be hedges which they could squeeze between etc

I would go and pitch all the tents around the edge so the kids play in the middle so you can watch them carefully (as I would expect you would anyway) tell then the dangers of the water and that if they go away from the designated area then they will have to stay in the tent all day

Bumperlicioso · 31/05/2011 20:06

I wouldn't go. I'm am a pretty relaxed neglectful parent, but water and young children scare the life out of me. You won't be able to relax. The danger with large groups is that everyone thinks someone else must be keeping an eye on the kids and suddenly no one is

The worst for me was when my sister got married, dd was 2.5 and it was at a golf club with a big lake and dark outside. Everyone kept saying 'leave her with us, she'll be fine'. Nothing happened but I had to specifically tell one person at a time that they were in charge of her, not just collectively. If she'd run off into the dark no one would have seen her.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 31/05/2011 20:19

mmm. that's what worries me. everyone says "oh, there'll be plenty of people around keeping an eye out". but if ds1 breaks off from the pack and heads for the water, will someone definitely spot it? he loves playing with water (safely, supervised etc), aged 3 I don't fully trust he has impulse control.

hedges to squeeze through wouldn't worry me so much maddy. not the sort of thing he'd do.

oh it's hard. I know he'd have a great time running free with the other kids. he's excited to go and I don't want to take that away from his. but I can't guarantee I will be able to watch him the whole time, and it only takes a moment...

OP posts:

tifflins · 31/05/2011 21:05

if it was me i would either go, and accept that i had to keep an eye on both children 'the whole time' or not go. seems a shame not to go tho.

bibbitybobbityhat · 31/05/2011 21:07

Yanbu. I would not camp in that setting with a toddler, no way.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 31/05/2011 21:31

it seems a shame yes tiffins. but with crawling 10mo twins, I just can't be sure I will manage to keep an eye on 3 young mobile dcs the whole time. dp has agreed we should cancel. :( but do think it's the right thing.

OP posts:

Bumperlicioso · 31/05/2011 21:38

We just went camping this weekend, we were 7 adults, 2 teens, 2 3yos, 1 18mo and 2 9mos. Its was fab and the teens (my brothers) did a fab job of keeping an eye on the older kids, but I had to keep saying to them to keep a hawk-like eye on them. They were happy to amuse them but as teen boys I don't think they really appreciated how quickly the little ones can get into trouble. Even with that many adults there were still moments where someone would say 'where's x?' and there'd be a mad panic to find them. No way would I have done that near water. It is v sad for ds, dd1 who is the same age had a wonderful time, but there'll be other trips. You won't relax at all.

Original poster

MamaChocoholic · 31/05/2011 22:17

thanks bumper. given all these other families seem so relaxed about it, I was half expecting everyone on this thread to tell me I was being over protective. glad I've not totally lost perspective on this at least. now will have to try and find a nice site with a plot left that week in august so ds1 at least gets to camp which will hopefully be exciting enough for him

OP posts:

Bumperlicioso · 31/05/2011 22:28

Just asked DH and he agrees with me. I don't think it is precious at all. Hopefully you can go camping elsewhere, find a pitch next to another family who are on their own and let your DS1 make friends :)

pollyblue · 31/05/2011 23:04

I wouldn't go either. It's not much of a relaxing holiday if you're on tenterhooks all the time is it? I've got a 4yo and 2 yo twins and wouldn't be happy in that sort of environment, they're too young to understand the danger and curiosity might get the better of them.

Gooseberrybushes · 31/05/2011 23:08

I'm with the others, and scurryfunge said it for me.

It would have to be you watching him like a hawk as no one else - obviously - takes it as seriously as you do.

Gooseberrybushes · 31/05/2011 23:08

so I mean, no, I wouldn't go.

Meglet · 31/05/2011 23:09

yanbu. You won't be able to relax. It will all fall on your shoulders.

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