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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have been mistaken for my DC's grandmother. At the age of 35. AIBU to have a little cry to myself?

62 replies

Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 16:43

Five years ago at the age of 30 - and pre DCs - I was asked for ID when buying a bottle of wine in the supermarket.

I have put on about 3 stone since then and have become more and more frumpy.

But, dear God, I was absolutely mortified today when I was asked whether DS was my grandson.

Go on, I need all you slim people to tell me to get a grip and pull myself out of it...

OP posts:
CoffeeMum · 29/05/2011 16:49

Seems a bit odd, 35 is very youthful...do you live in an area where women 'have kids young'? Or was the person who took you for DC's grandma someone who just wouldn't have a clue? I'm sure you look great but were maybe caught on a bad day, in a bad light but someone a bit dim Wink

pink4ever · 29/05/2011 16:49

Ooohh I hope you gave them your most withering look?. I wouldnt worry about it too much,your probably just suffering from lack of sleep like all us mums.
I would treat myself to something to cheer myself up or arrange a nice lunch/night out with friends. Am sure you dont look anywhere near old enough to be a granny.

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2011 16:49

Get a grip. Some people are just a bit stupid :)
I am not slim btw. I used to get IDed all the time too, but haven't in the last 4 years or so...DS (first child) is 4. I think it's the grey hair and the haggard look

Salmotrutta · 29/05/2011 16:50

Aww - don't feel bad. These days there are quite a few very young GPs out there.
Maybe you can use this as an excuse to update your wardrbe a teeny wee bit or treat yourself to a new hairstyle or something?

mumblechum1 · 29/05/2011 16:51

I narrowly avoided asking one of ds's mates if she was his gran, she was only early forties (dc was 6), but because her hair is completely grey I assumed she was late 50s.

I did hang back and not ask, and it was soon obvious she was his mum when he called her mummy...

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2011 16:54

A member of my staff went for voluntary redundancy recently. It was being marketed as VR / early retirement. I assumed to begin with (only just met her) that she was going for the retirement option. Turns out she's late 30s, and worse, she sees herself as a young late thirties - still goes out clubbing etc. Luckily I hadn't said anything to her about retirement but it was only luck!

Original poster
Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 16:54

I live in London, most of the other mums where we live are about my age or bit older.

Maybe I should be grateful. If that's not the kick up the butt I need to lose weight then I don't know what is Sad.

OP posts:
smileANDwave2000 · 29/05/2011 16:54

dont feel bad there are some rude and stupid people out there i was asked twice as ive gone grey if im my husbands mother Angry im not wrinkled just a bit grey having said that a couple years ago my DH was asked his age when buying booze he was 35 for goodness sake hes so smug about it lol and to top it off he can hear our local shops device for anoying teens that buzz they have to stop kids hanging around he can bloody well hear it i certainly cant , dont cry about it its kind of funny laugh it off as i say people are stupid

Tryharder · 29/05/2011 16:55

This has happened to me before. I feel your pain - I really do. To be fair, the women that asked me looked extremely mortified when I corrected her.

But yes, I am now trying to lose weight, just bought myself some new make-up and remembering to actually look in a mirror once in a while...

maddy68 · 29/05/2011 16:57

my friend is a GP at the age of 35 so dont feel too bad

mumblechum1 · 29/05/2011 16:58

tbh, having your hair coloured (natural colour, not witchy black or anything) is the one sure way of not looking older than you are.

5inthebed · 29/05/2011 16:59

I once got accused of bing my sisters mother. I am only 4 years older than her. Now that is grim :(

SockShitter · 29/05/2011 17:00

been confused for my younger sister's mum. She is 4 years younger than me Blush

allhailtheaubergine · 29/05/2011 17:00

I don';t think it can be a fat thing. If anything, fat makes you look younger.

Andrewofgg · 29/05/2011 17:01

Was this a male prat or a female prat?

If in doubt I always err in the other direction - flattery is better than insult!

huffythethreadslayer · 29/05/2011 17:01

I work with a little boy who has special needs and when I told him I had a mole on my chin because I was old he asked me if I was going to die! I do look like a grandma but at 46 I think I've earned the right:) DD is just 10, though, so it'll be a while before I'm actually a grandma.

Don't fret. They probably thought you were a very glamorous granny :)

TheProvincialLady · 29/05/2011 17:02

Have you got into a rut of wearing horrible shapeless things, no makeup, no decent haircut etc? Don't beat yourself up over the 3 stone, you will lose it in time, but in the meantime look after yourself a bit. Not because of how old you look to other people, but to feel good about yourself and make time for yourself. So easy to spend your whole time looking after everyone else in the family - even the cooker gets more loving attention than me sometimes!

Get in that bathroom tonight and have a good soak and a scrub and wear something that suits you tomorrow.

bettiboo · 29/05/2011 17:03

My friend answered the door to the window cleaner and he asked her if her mum was home - meaning me!!!! She's only 3 years younger than me - and I'm gorgeous and youthful. I went on holiday with my friend to Morocco and a waiter that was serving me and my friend on the beach asked me, in front of my friend is she was my mum - she was 2 years younger than me - some people are just mental. Grin

Original poster
Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 17:04

Thank you everyone. Am having a glass of wine (like that's going to help...).

It was a female.

I agree, I don't think it's my size. I think it's the way I dress because of my size.

OP posts:
Original poster
Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 17:18

Yes, absolutely, shapelessness in clothes and everything is frigging black. And I hardly ever wear make-up. Damn it! I used to be attractive back in the days...Christ, that makes me seem even older...

I keep telling myself that I am not going to buy any nice clothes until I lose weight. But, I obviously need an image overhaul which is not connected to being overweight!

Right!

Sympathies with everyone who has been in a similar position. Especially when there are sisters involved .

OP posts:
Chandon · 29/05/2011 17:24

One of my DC's has a little friend whose mum is 23. She had him at 17. I found out last week I am older than this little boy's gran!

Anyone can be a gran at 35, but many people are only just a mum. It's hard to know sometimes.

Salmotrutta · 29/05/2011 17:25

Fabulous accessories can really lift outfits too.................. Wink

pinkstarlight · 29/05/2011 17:27

hey the person who said that might have failing eyesight, my daughter last (18years old at the time) was stood at a bus stop with her 10 year old brother and an old lady thought she was his mum lol.

glassofwhiteanybody · 29/05/2011 17:28

Sounds like someone wasn't paying attention, or they were a bit dopey. I wouldn't be thrilled either but I wouldn't start worrying that you really do look like a granny.

How about a new lip gloss to boost your self esteem?

Tambern · 29/05/2011 17:33

Fitted clothes will help if you're overweight. Shapeless, baggy stuff in dull colours make you look older and fatter. You don't have to buy lots of expensive clothes, especially if you're planning to lose weight, just a couple of nice pieces, and then some cheap stuff that's youthful looking. One really good purchase (though better for winter than summer) is to get a really good fitted coat that you can put on over anything and will always make you look smart.

Years ago when I was sixteen (and I was a very young looking teenager) I was shopping with my mother, and my little sister (age gap of twelve years) and an old lady came up and started talking to me about 'my baby' and how proud I must be of her. She was obviously trying to be nice and supportive of a young mother, but my mother was most unhappy at being mistaken for a granny! (She was about 46 at the time, but looked late thirties.)

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