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Have been mistaken for my DC's grandmother. At the age of 35. AIBU to have a little cry to myself?

62 replies

Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 16:43

Five years ago at the age of 30 - and pre DCs - I was asked for ID when buying a bottle of wine in the supermarket.

I have put on about 3 stone since then and have become more and more frumpy.

But, dear God, I was absolutely mortified today when I was asked whether DS was my grandson.

Go on, I need all you slim people to tell me to get a grip and pull myself out of it...

OP posts:
UrsulaBuffay · 29/05/2011 17:40

I am the same Guitargirl, have put weight on and somehow it has aged me. (wtf happened to fat making you bubbly, fun and puffing out your wrinkles?!)

I am also going for the revamp, sick of feeling like a frumpy middle aged woman at 31.

LunaticFringe · 29/05/2011 17:42

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fairydoll · 29/05/2011 18:02

Lol the first time you are mistaken for a GP is a big shock!!

MadamDeathstare · 29/05/2011 18:08

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MadamDeathstare · 29/05/2011 18:09

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EmmaBemma · 29/05/2011 18:16

Being on the plump side tends to make people look younger, not older. I take your point about the way you dress because of your weight possibly being a factor, but not unless you were in a twinset and pearls. Whoever said that is obviously just a div, and can safely be ignored.

Reminds me of something that happened the other week. Was having my hair cut by my early-20s hairdresser, and was telling him some story about where I used to live. "Was that when you were young?" he said. I am 33. I went beetroot and harrumphed "Well. Young-ER"

It was awful, put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day, so you have my sympathies.

jade80 · 29/05/2011 18:19

Take solace in the fact that the person who asked you probably comes from an estate where the average age of a new mum is 15, because it's full of people who view benefits as a career and children early in life as a route to more benefits, placing you around 30 years old- so you actually look younger than your 35 years! You may want to review whether you should wear kappa/adidas clothing though? :P

CocoPopsAddict · 29/05/2011 18:27

Loads of people just haven't got a clue when it comes to assessing age, so I wouldn't worry.

A guy in Tesco asked me for ID to buy a lottery ticket when I had my DS in his pushchair - I am 25. I was every bit as offended as you - needless to say I did not show my ID, but got my lottery ticket.

PLUS this person was obviously tactless - even if someone looks a bit borderline (which I am not suggesting for a minute you do!) you should always err on the side of caution. Better to call a grandparent a parent than the other way round.

Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 18:29

The woman who asked looked - if anything - a couple of years older than me - maybe late 30s?

To be fair she seemed absolutely mortified when I said er, no, that's my son. But then, why bloody ask!?!

The exact conversation went:

Woman: 'Are you Margaret's mother?'

Me: 'No'

OP posts:
MumGoneCrazy · 29/05/2011 18:36

I'm nearly 28 and still get asked for ID for cigs in supermarkets even with 4 kids in tow oldest being 11.....but last week while out with my 16yr old brother, he stopped to talk to a friend and his friend asked him if I was his mum ShockShockShock

beesimo · 29/05/2011 18:38

If you want to stay young looking eat diary as it keeps your skin nice, don't worry about being chubby as fat pushes the wrinkles out.

Wear colour nothing is more draining than black as you get older, if you can't afford new clothes try a few good quality ethnic necklaces. Avoid beige as it will make you look beige.

Have your eyebrows and eyelashes done professionally waxed,dyed and if necessary a few feather outs added go to a 'little salon' or get a girl to come to your house it ain't that dear.

Exfoliate entire body ever week.

Wax regular and haircut at least every six weeks.

Do your own manicure weekly if your skint.

Keep make up light use Lancome Juicy Tubes not lipstick they are mint

A older woman is like a older car keep up the maintence and you will pass your MOT don't and ya won't simple as that

Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 18:38

past not back

OP posts:
Gay40 · 29/05/2011 18:44

I've been mistaken for DD's grandma, DD's dad and DD's uncle.
I'm not being funny, but I do have longish curly hair (admittedly going grey) and tits. Maybe it's the beanie....

scottishmummy · 29/05/2011 18:46

looked like a mn?hehe hairy hands?moustache?

bluebobbin · 29/05/2011 18:50

OP - whilst it probably was upsetting to hear, some people really don't think or look properly before speaking.

My mum is 63 and she has a typical figure for a post menopausal woman her age who has had kids. She does look younger than she is, but she was a few weeks ago mistaken for the mother of my 3yo Grin.

Gay40 · 29/05/2011 18:50

No...if I was a big butch dyke I could understand it. If I had short hair I could understand it. If I was wearing dungarees or a suit I could understand it.
(No tache either)
But no.

muminthemiddle · 29/05/2011 18:50

Some people are just a bit dim. I don't know many (if any!) 35 year old grandmas. I still remember the time someone asked me if I was expecting another baby. I wasn't and was about a size 12/14 at the time. I checked with my friends who all assured me that I did not look pregnant.
I still get asked on the phone "is your mum in?" and I am over 40!!!!!!

kaid100 · 29/05/2011 18:53

Well, these days teenage parenthood isn't uncommon so maybe they didn't think you were any older than you were. They could have assumed you'd had a child at 17 and so did your child. Apparently, the record age for youngest grandmother is 24.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/05/2011 18:56

Being a bit plump might be youthful but I wouldn't agree that overweight makes someone look young, I think it's quite ageing. Then again, it depends on their genetic makeup, some people will always look younger than they are. Agree with the posters who suggest some nice accessories and figure-skimming rather than baggy clothes.

Don't take the comment to heart, OP, it was ill-considered and best left unsaid, whether it was right or wrong.

mummyosaurus · 29/05/2011 18:56

Just a little bit of make up, takes 2 mins, and makes me feel so much better. I am 39, but tired of feeling like a granny.

Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 18:57

Gay40 - God, that's crap!

Scottishmummy - she looked worthy and a bit anxious. Mind you the anxiety might have been because of me giving her the evils...

OP posts:
Gay40 · 29/05/2011 18:58

I found it more funny than crap. DP was less amused.

scottishmummy · 29/05/2011 19:00

a mn looks wothy and anxious?
lol not me then im unworthy and dont give a fuck,but do have nice accessories

NellieForbush · 29/05/2011 19:00

I was ID'd recently and their is no way on this earth that I look anything like 18. What I'm saying is some people are just useless or very short sighted.

Love beesimo's practical tips although too much excess weight is def ageing.

beesimo · 29/05/2011 19:02


We have a lady staying at one of our cottages who genuinely couldn't reckonise peoples faces after she had a stroke, she only knew her Man was her DH because of his voice and shape. That was extreme I know but apparently there are a lot of people who can't 'read' faces either through illness or some kind of quirk in their brains.

They are not trying to hurt others they just can't process the info so just let funny remarks go over your head

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