dsis and her baby plans

[MissBubbles]

not sure if im bu or not so i thought id ask you guys :)

dsis 22 - for many years has spoke about her desire to become a mum, she lives with her dp 21, she works 10 hours a week at min wage, he works anywhere from 25 onwards hours a weeks at just above min age, they struggle with money due to not earning alot and him having a couple of debts, yet they still decided last year to try for a baby

she is now pg, about 14 weeks, and has already spoke about their plans for when babys born

her plan is (which he has willingly agreed to) that she will work for as long as her job will allow her to, even she says if it means right up till the moment she pops (her words), ok fair enough she loves her job, but the thing i dont get is the next part of her plan

once the baby is 3 or 4 weeks old, she will go back to work and her dp will give up his job to become a sahd, dont get me wrong i have nothing againest sahd's but surely finacially wise it would be best if she stayed at home? i know that in their financial posistion it may not have been best to try for a baby, but thats done now and they need to think of whats best for the baby and their new little family, i understand she loves her job and will miss it hugely, i pointed out that she will miss her baby lots at that stage but she says she cant miss work as it would upset her too much

oh god im prob being such a littlemissjudgypants, and if iam fair enough, but aibu to think that her plans are a bit back to front ?

Hairy I think it's because in this case the mother-to-be only works 10 hours a week and her DP is the main earner, albeit only working part time himself.

OK going to go at a slightly different angle here.

I agree the situation you sis and her DP are suggesting makes no sense on paper - however it may be true benefits wise they'll benefit iyswim.

I wonder though OP if this is her asserting her independence? You, your mum and other sis sound really lovely and caring btw but there seems to be a lot of my mum has offered help, I keep reminding her I'm there and my other sis too. Any chance in her knew PG and hormonal mind shes thinking FFS get off my case I'm an adult and can do this? Therefore the more you try and make suggestions to her the more stupid ones she'll make just to prove it's her life? (not saying thats sensible by the way just projecting!)

I also 2nd the poster who said are you sure she has made this decision not DP? It seems she's so against help that there maybe another reason for this?

Could you not suggest that as her DP is going to be at home she could aslo start a college course/ further ed training and find out what career she really wants? Give her confidence and encourage her to do it - and then at least if it does all end in tears she'll be able to provide for the LO?

They wont get WTC if she is only working 10 hours will they? I thought it had to be at least 16.

I work 10 hrs my OH works 20 something.

Its ideal because we dont need any childcare. Cant they both work?

She will change her mind anyway.Other people's children arent as appealling after you have had your PFB.

She works 10 hours a week. Id hardly call her dp a 'SAHD'. From what you say in the op, her dp will be unemployed, as he's giving up work, and for the 10 hours that she works (ie less than 2 days a week) he'll look after his child. Oh and they have debts too.
Sounds like a recipe for a poverty stricken existence with the likelihood of poor outcomes for the child. Children with non working parents (which they technically will be, for the majority of the time) are statistically more likely to not achieve as well educationally, and in many other ways.
Sounds like a mad set up to me- but their choice

Hold on, sister is a chav, but you're not? .

She's young and knows how to bleed the system. Stop her before it's too late.

Will she even get SMP if she's getting 10 hours a week at minimum wage? You need to be earning at least 102 pounds a week to get it.

I dont think they will bleed the system though. They will get income support. I think they will find themselves on the lowest rate for a family with a child.

Far better to both keep working and sort the childcare around their hours. They will get WTC at a high rate and will be able to move forwards when either of them can get more hours.

Daisy I think you get £102 OR your usual wage, which ever is lower. Happy to be corrected over that though.

I really think you have to step away and let them do things their own way, and learn their own way. It must be quite overbearing to have people advising on life decisions ...when all they want is to enjoy this new phase of their lives and do things the way they want to. Yes, to you it mightmake more financial sense for him to work and her stay home but it's their choice to make. I see no benefit to anyone in you worrying so much about it. They are adults, not children, and unless you have serious concerns regarding abuse or neglect with some kind of proof, you need to step back and let them come to you if they need to.

How suffocating to have a family which appears to assume you'll fail before you've even got out of the second trimester. :(

Pretty sure for SMP you have to be earning at least at the lower earnings limit for National Insurance, which is 102 pounds (no pound sign on my keyboard!)

She should get maternity allowance though.

Would the fact that her DP gave up work not impact on his benefits? Would he not still have to sign on?

They would only get Income Support from within 11 weeks of her due date until the baby is 15 weeks old then they jointly or one of them would have to claim JSA. If she is the only one working at only 10 hours per week they would not get working tax credit only child tax credit. She is unlikely to get SMP as she only works 10 hrs per week, mat allowance is a possibility depending on her work history but may still be unlikley.

I bet she will change her mind once she has the baby

shes not that young shes 22 NOT 12.......let her get on with it. if she needs the help/support whatever its there