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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sil's birthday gift - wwyd?

63 replies

CeliaFate · 28/05/2011 16:46

Posted in chat as well. It's her 50th soon. Dh thinks we should buy her a present. I do not. For my 40th (last year) I got ... nothing. Not even a card. She said she posted it, okay it could have got lost. But she claims she "forgot" it was my 40th. Okay. Like she forgot my 30th. I had a bunch of flowers.
It seems childish I know and I should take the high road, but I'm really pissed off at buying her a present when she can't be arsed with my birthday. (There is a LOT of history with sil so I admit I'm biased).
WWYD?

OP posts:
ShuffleBallChange · 28/05/2011 16:49

I would take the high road and get her something lovely. Dont sink to her level although it is tempting. Make her feel guilty by getting her the biggest most fabulous pressie you can and take pride in the fact that you are far nicer than her Grin

chirpchirp · 28/05/2011 16:49

I say take the high road and get her a small gift. Is it your DH's sister or a siblings wife? If it's DH's sis get him to buy a gift and just stick your name on it too.

millie30 · 28/05/2011 16:49

Why do you have to get her anything? If your DH wants to get her a present then he can do it surely?

IslaValargeone · 28/05/2011 16:51

I would do the same as Shuffleball suggests. I feel your pain though.

SauvignonBlanche · 28/05/2011 16:51

Don't sink to her level.

YellowDinosaur · 28/05/2011 16:52

I wouldn't get her anything but I wouldn't stop dh getting her something either. Stay out of it - if he really wants to get her something he can sort it out himself

Original poster
CeliaFate · 28/05/2011 16:55

It's dh's brother's wife. Dh wouldn't have the first clue as to what to get. I'll end up getting it Angry. You're right, I should rise above it. Grrrr....

OP posts:
grottielottie · 28/05/2011 17:08

I would get her a wonderful and thoughtful present which would unfortunately get lost in the post.

ENormaSnob · 28/05/2011 17:16

No I wouldn't get her anything.

ZombiePlan · 28/05/2011 17:20

I'd give her a card. If you really feel like taking the moral high ground, pick up a bottle of wine for her next time you're in the supermarket. I certainly wouldn't bust a gut searching high and low for The Perfect Gift though, given that she can't even be arsed to write your burthdsy on her calendar...

ZombiePlan · 28/05/2011 17:21

Just to point out that I can, in fact, spell 'birthday' correctly...
As you were.

SuePurblybilt · 28/05/2011 17:24

Do you buy for your Dh's brother (her husband)? Because he forgot your birthdays all those times too presumably? Or do they buy seperate gifts?

horriblemotheragain · 28/05/2011 17:24

no, i wouldn't bother. she obviously doesn't care about yours! i am still miffed with Dh's parents who said they'd write me a cheque for my birthday (which is what they usually do tbh) and i never got it. they did ring me on the day to say happy birthday, we'll send you some money to treat yourself. It never arrived. I'm sure it was an oversight but i was really looking forward to having some £ to spend on myself for a change...

Anyway, don't bother with the high road, if you're not friends with her, why send her a present?

exoticfruits · 28/05/2011 17:25

I would leave it to DH to arrange (or not arrange)-no need to get involved.

SuePurblybilt · 28/05/2011 17:25

Or even separate. Fingers not listening...

Haecceity · 28/05/2011 17:26

So what if he wouldn't have a clue what to get?

I refuse to accept that there is something about having a penis that renders you incapable of being able to choose a gift for someone.

Tell him to go to the shops and choose something!

Original poster
CeliaFate · 28/05/2011 17:28

Sue her dh is useless at anything remotely domesticated - she buys all the cards and presents. He wouldn't have a clue if I'd received anything at all!

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 28/05/2011 17:31

I'd do something that clearly involved little effort. Flowers?

NB. I actually love getting flowers though! Grin

diddl · 28/05/2011 17:35

I don´t really "do" presents for adults & would probably only get something if there was some sort of party/get together organised.

She obviously doesn´t do presents for adults either, anywayGrin

CrapBag · 28/05/2011 17:36

I wouldn't get her anything. Thats your DH's job. I don't buy for my SIL and nor would I.

SuePurblybilt · 28/05/2011 17:41

But he's getting away with not remembering by not being domesticated and she's not? I just thought it a bit unfair that all the blame be directed at the female half of a couple both quite capable of entering Clintons Cards Grin.

Anyway, I would either not bother or just get something like a bottle of wine. Or maybe suggest that as presents seem to be a bit hit and miss, you all make a decision not to buy for adults from now on?

Doha · 28/05/2011 17:44

Bottle of cheap plonk from the supermarket and a standard card.( pity you forgot it was her 50th!!!)

Better than the nothing that she got you and not requiring too much effort.

PinotGrigiosKittens · 28/05/2011 18:15

Get her a card and really really spit on the envelope seal :)

Gooseberrybushes · 28/05/2011 18:17

Well this is easy. Don't buy her a present. If your husband wants to buy her a present you can't stop him.

Why are you even thinking about buying a present? It's not even "taking the high road". It's taking the mug road.

MissVerinder · 28/05/2011 18:19

Buy a present, wrap it up for posting and make a big deal to your DH about mailing it. Walk past the post office, unwrap it, get a refund and treat yourself...