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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sil's birthday gift - wwyd?

63 replies

CeliaFate · 28/05/2011 16:46

Posted in chat as well. It's her 50th soon. Dh thinks we should buy her a present. I do not. For my 40th (last year) I got ... nothing. Not even a card. She said she posted it, okay it could have got lost. But she claims she "forgot" it was my 40th. Okay. Like she forgot my 30th. I had a bunch of flowers.
It seems childish I know and I should take the high road, but I'm really pissed off at buying her a present when she can't be arsed with my birthday. (There is a LOT of history with sil so I admit I'm biased).
WWYD?

OP posts:
signet · 28/05/2011 18:21

I'd get her something. The idea behind a gift is to bless someone else on their special day, it's not necessarily reciprocal. We don't give gifts only to people who give us gifts. Take the high road on this one and give yourself a pat on the back for being a much nicer person x

Gooseberrybushes · 28/05/2011 18:23

"I would take the high road and get her something lovely. Dont sink to her level although it is tempting. Make her feel guilty by getting her the biggest most fabulous pressie you can and take pride in the fact that you are far nicer than her."

Shuffle, I'm sure you are a lovely person, but this is the most ridiculous thing I've read today Smile

who cares? just don't buy her summat, so what, just forget it

"make her feel guilty" yeah like that's going to work

in fact buy yourself a present instead

Gooseberrybushes · 28/05/2011 18:24

oh my lord you're all at it

ChaoticAngelbitchfromhell · 28/05/2011 18:59

Leave it to your DH to buy something if he wants to. That way you get to take the high road and, from what you've said, she's still likely to end up with a crap pressie Wink

PinkSchmoo · 28/05/2011 19:14

Depending on how bad a day I was having it would be petrol station flowers or cheap plonk and a 60th birthday card.

notmyproblem · 28/05/2011 20:19

How about your DH and his brother grow up and quit acting like little boys who need their mummies wives to look after them and buy their own damn presents for people?

Why do you and your SIL have to get gifts for each other? It sounds like you don't even like each other! Confused

YANBU not to get a gift, YABU to carry on like Stepford Wives enabling your respective husbands to be useless twats.

anniepanniepears · 28/05/2011 20:24

get her nowt same as she got you

wowwowwubbzywubbzywubbzywowwow · 28/05/2011 20:34

Am I missing something? You say her card might have got lost in the post and she got you flowers for your 30th so that's not nothing is is? Just get her some flowers or a card. Or don't bother if you don't want to.

iscream · 28/05/2011 20:38

"PinkSchmoo Sat 28-May-11 19:14:47

Depending on how bad a day I was having it would be petrol station flowers or cheap plonk and a 60th birthday card.
"

"60th birthday card." Tee hee.

I would get her a nice birthday card. She is an adult, and will be fine without a present.

ScarletOHaHa · 28/05/2011 21:47

take the low road and what pinot said. Ok to not to buy pressie. Buy a card if you can be arsed/are in a good mood

risingstar · 28/05/2011 21:51

take her lack of action re your birthday as an indication that she is not fussed by presents.

having suddenly realised this, you are fully justified in spending £30 on something lovely for yourself with the money you have saved.

MCos · 28/05/2011 23:38

PinkSchmoo - that is so funny! gave me good giggle.

I think just give her a card. Obviously presents on significant birthdays are not important to her.
Unless you have been invited to her 50th birthday party - in that case, I give her some supermarket wine. Maybe Tesco special offer 50% off.

And I LOVE the idea mentioned above to buy yourself something special instead!

PaisleyLeaf · 28/05/2011 23:44

If she got you a bunch of flowers for your 30th, can't you just send her a bunch of flowers?

Gooseberrybushes · 29/05/2011 00:09

but her 30th was more than ten years ago?

FabbyChic · 29/05/2011 00:12

Buy her some anti-wrinkle cream.

Punkatheart · 29/05/2011 00:32

Get her a five year diary with your birthday marked prominently every year.

saffronwblue · 29/05/2011 00:40

I would give her something really dull and generic. A box of Cadbury's Roses just into the use by date...

PenguinArmy · 29/05/2011 00:45

DH thinks, DH does

lesley33 · 29/05/2011 02:01

I think if DH wants to buy her a present, he should buy her one. And I don't really think you should go in for tit for tat i.e. she didn't buy me one so my DH shouldn't buy her one. Your SIL may be a PITA to you, but she is DH's sister and so naturally he will feel different about her than you will.

PenguinArmy · 29/05/2011 02:41

lesley It's not her DH's sister (it's her DHs brothers wife)

empirestateofmind · 29/05/2011 04:41

Why on earth should you get her a present when by her actions she has shown she is not bothered about birthdays?

By all means put a card in the post if you want to but there is no need for a present.

troisgarcons · 29/05/2011 07:26

TBH unless you are in the habit of buying routine birthday presents I wouldnt bother - unless she is having a party, then of course it's inappropriate to go empty handed.

Original poster
CeliaFate · 29/05/2011 08:30

I agree, but dh thinks we should to keep the peace.

OP posts:
diddl · 29/05/2011 08:34

Keep what peace?

She doesn´t "do" presents, does she?

Does she give your husband presents?

If so, let him sort it out?

Are you going to a party?-if so, obv a present is required.

Original poster
CeliaFate · 29/05/2011 08:53

She's mentioned a party yes. Bollocks. I'll have to suck it up and get the old cow something.

OP posts: