Sil's birthday gift - wwyd?

[CeliaFate]

Posted in chat as well. It's her 50th soon. Dh thinks we should buy her a present. I do not. For my 40th (last year) I got ... nothing. Not even a card. She said she posted it, okay it could have got lost. But she claims she "forgot" it was my 40th. Okay. Like she forgot my 30th. I had a bunch of flowers.
It seems childish I know and I should take the high road, but I'm really pissed off at buying her a present when she can't be arsed with my birthday. (There is a LOT of history with sil so I admit I'm biased).
WWYD?

Hang on a minute, what's she like otherwise? Is she a decent person, do you get on? She may be crap at the cards/presents but not everybody has that gift or sees that it is important. She might be a bit scatty.

Nope none of the above . She's the type who's "open and honest, and speaks her mind" ie she's tactless, rude and insensitive. Yet she'd be very offended if you answer back and be "so hurt" . Like a said, there's a LOT of history there. I tolerate her, I would never choose to spend time with her if we weren't sils.

*I

It would kill me, but I'd get her something really lovely and make a big show of giving it to her.

Have you got a charity shop near to you (don't go out of your way). Buy her a top a size or two too big and when you give it to her say I hope its not to small.

Of course I would never do this just would like to imagine the look on her face.

Real life, if shes having a do, bottle of wine and card and a fantastic new out fit for your self to wear on the night. If no do flowers and card.

If your dh wants to keep the peace, let him buy the present. He may not have the first clue what to get but that hardly matters, does it?

If your DH thinks she should get a present, then he should get her a present. Really not your problem given the circumstances - the ball is in his court. If he doesn't normally do present-shopping then it's about time he learnt.

I have risen above it for years with my SIL and her kids, I am always left disappointed and quite resentful. Anyway after too long a story to go into on here, I decided at the the start of this year that after 25 years of me buying for everyone DH can buy for his own family. SIL's birthday was 2 months ago and guess what............DH hasn't got around to it yet - not my fault
Only take the high rd/ rise above it IF you are sure you can do it wholeheartedly I ended up bearing a grudge which isn't good for me.

takeonboard yes that's how I feel after 20 years of her crap. I do bear a grudge, I wouldn't be able to get her a lovely gift because I'd be seething inside. I'll let dh take care of it. She'll probably get old lady slippers

It would take an angel to NOT bear a grudge after 20 years. Where else in our lives would we commit 20 years to soemthing with no return? I have felt so much better this year after being honest and open with my DH about how I feel about her (not his DB), I opted out of the last 2 get togethers and am much happier, less bitter for having a distant cordial relationship with her. Some people are just toxic........
Let DH deal with it, a learning curve for both of them I expect

I'd be tempted to get her some beautifully wrapped Tena Lady

Love the tena lady idea lazarusb but in my case its a gift I would love rather than the insult intended (OMG just realised need to change from laughing, well see you later).