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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to fuming that there has been no staff at the local secondary school since 3.30pm to take a serious complaint about bullying and harrasment

489 replies

tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 17:09

I walked past the house of a family who I do know but not terribly well and I am aware there middle daughter is being bullied.

outside was a group of girls looking in through their window shouting and jeering and swearing. I know the mum works some afternoons so I did intervien and tell the group of girls to leave them alone and move away from the house...in hindsight a bit silly of me as I did have my 5 yr old dd with me, but I wasn't in any way afraid forour safety or anything. Turns out the mum was home and she also then came out. They took the message and went away, but then followed me up the street shouting and swearing and berating me. It was laughable really but attempted to call non emergency police no just to show the little shits they can get away with behaving like this, but my bloody mobile died on me.

Anyway I have been trying to call the school since 3.30 and no one has been available to take my call, and have just now been told all senior management staff left at 4.15 and receptionist cant locate any other teaching staff. no one will be in over half term. now I m shocked that the head did not pick up his answer messages before leaving the school for a whole week, I had left one message at 3.30 and one at 4pm. I find it hard to even believe the head of a secondary school would even finish at 4.15.

Im tempted to call the non emergancy no again to give the message to the school this not acceptable, but Im sure this is very little the police would even be able to do.

also I want to say bunch of little bitches how horrible for a group of girls to behave like this!!!!!

OP posts:
Olivetti · 27/05/2011 21:46

A number of posters have been bleating on about how early they get to work, take work home, work in the holidays. I am simply pointing out that professional jobs usually require people to work to do the job to the best of their ability, rather than sticking to the letter of "contracted time". In my experience of being at school, and my parents' 30 year teaching careers, the very best teachers DID stay behind at least a few days of the week to make their hours correspond with a business working day, on the basis that this is the time parents may need to have meetings, or kids may have issues that needed to be addressed.

TheFlyingOnion · 27/05/2011 21:46

video watching? Which century are you operating in?

kangers · 27/05/2011 21:47

Not especially defensive I think claig- just saying I think she is being unreasonsable. Plus WTF has Gove to do with it and why do you think his views matter. I bet he isn't in the office awaiting calls from concerned constituents about political issues. He can pay staff and claim lots of expenses for them. He is someone who has a good idea about girls bullying others and state schools.

AbigailS · 27/05/2011 21:48

Noone is claiming the abuse that the OP witnessed is a laughing matter. In fact almost everyone acknowledges she is not being unreasonable to be concerned and want something done. But I think people are "lightening up" as a result of the ridiculous comments that teachers should be in school to answer the phone until 6pm.

Olivetti · 27/05/2011 21:49

Interesting points, Onion. I can imagine it is very exhausting.

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 21:49

I have never once blamed all teachers for anything on this thread so the call centre thing is a no brainer. nor have I ever said the time the teachers left was unreasonable, i did say I find it hard believe as in my dds school the head and deputy are often still at school late as are some other teachers I know.

I did not agree it was not a school matter and I do find it very odd that some people seem to feel its ok to hijake and turn into a drinking thread, i find that very insensitive...not to me just to add, but that it mocks the fact that this family where being jeered, sweared at and harassed in their own home.

I have said alot up thread thats fine you dont agree, but some posters have shown a distinct lack of respect for the essence of this thread and i find it disheartening that some of those posters are teachers.

OP posts:
WhatsWrongWithYou · 27/05/2011 21:50

Oh, I do apologise - of course nothing as outmoded as video-watching would be going on - showing my age there.

GypsyMoth · 27/05/2011 21:50

well fwiw i'm ex police....and it would likely be a week next tuesday before a officer got round to this one!!!n

or i should say,a pcso!!

AbigailS · 27/05/2011 21:50

Olivetti "A number of posters have been bleating on about how early they get to work, take work home, work in the holidays."
Interesting that teachers pointing out they have every right to leave the school premises at 3pm and work from home when being criticised for doing so is see as bleating on.

kangers · 27/05/2011 21:52

No issue with fact that most teachers and many workers go beyond 'contracted time' but no need to berate people when there is no compulsion to be there. Do YSWIM?
WWWY were you in my lessons?

claig · 27/05/2011 21:52

I think she was surprised that no one was at school at 4.15p.m. or whatever. Most of us non-teachers would probably also have been surprised. But, I think she has now been told by teachers that this is often the case, so she is now aware of it. I don't think it warrants all the mickey-taking.

TheFlyingOnion · 27/05/2011 21:55

I think the odd DVD on the last day of term is fine, whatswrong, but I can honestly say I have shown my kids a dvd once all year.... and on the last day of term if you try to do anything too intense with the kids they just don't have the attention span and all I end up doing is shouting - no-one has fun or learns anything (there have been lots of threads about this so don't really want to get sidetracked here).

If your school shows kids dvds regularly and they are not educational, iyswim, you should take this up with the school. Tis bad practice....

WhatsWrongWithYou · 27/05/2011 21:56

Kangers, I wasn't alluding to my own education (well pre-video age, as I said), just what I've observed in the past 10 years of my DCs being at school; seems the norm to wheel the telly in several times a week, particularly once summer half term is over.

Only noticed this in about the last five years, i have to say.

But as you were.

kangers · 27/05/2011 21:56

why should teachers show you respect on MN? We have to do so at work, but on here, we can call a spade a spade.
Maybe different response if on 'education' thread.

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 21:58

I do not expect anyone to show me respect, but I would have thought that anyone would have enough respect to not belittle what happened to this girl by turning this into a drinking thread.

OP posts:
kangers · 27/05/2011 21:59

I have shown lots of DVD's WWWY. No problems that. Very useful when content completed. (but not disney films- documentaries).

Olivetti · 27/05/2011 21:59

Yes, I do see, Kangers. (Can you stop using the gun, please? It's rather disconcerting).

I don't think she was berating all teachers for leaving at their official end time, though. Isn't she simply saying that a member of the community should be able to speak to a senior person at a school at 4:15pm? This seems reasonable to me. It does not seem to merit an onslaught of teachers telling us how put-upon they are.

emmanumber3 · 27/05/2011 22:02

What you experienced is, I'm afraid, a Police matter not a school one ALTHOUGH I do think it's worth reporting to the school in any case. They will probably do no more than "have a word" if the girls concerned can be identified but, depending on the girls, that might make a difference. I know most schools do have a "if it's off our premises it's not our problem" attitude/policy but as they were still in uniform the school might take an interest.

I also cannot see how the girl's mother can have been in the house & done nothing until you started to tackle the bullies. What was she thinking? Sad

kangers · 27/05/2011 22:05

Why not tom?

Not belittled it. The event is recorded here, and most agreed it was not OK. Plus you did well to intervene. Other banter does not affect this.

activate · 27/05/2011 22:05

"lack of respect"

OMG please stop it - you complained about a group of teens shouting at a child

it is a line on an internet forum and does not require all to wear black and doff our caps - in the scheme of things it is unfortunately incredibly mild description

I work daily with cases that would curl your hair and I still like to have a laugh and a drink

You appear to be looking for people to validate your sincerity - the people you are complaining about deal with crap daily from children with crap lives with death and destruction and abuse, with neglect, with behavioural disorders and special needs, with broken hearts and broken bones

you did the right thing intervening - again
you did the right thing wanting to report - again
the rest of it is making it all rather pathetic

kangers · 27/05/2011 22:07

your frustration is sizzling activate

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 22:09

sorry I disagree activate, I dont think this thread is the place to be letting of steam and some of banter was particularly unpleasant.

OP posts:
kangers · 27/05/2011 22:11

example needed tom

activate · 27/05/2011 22:11

you may disagree - but you are WRONG

(oh I have so wanted to say that so many times - for once I have the experience and actual knowledge to say it as an absolute fact and not as an opinion - wrong - wrong -wrong)

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 22:14

that is just pointless kangers I think it has moved on from there now anyway am not trawling back for examples, we all disagree that is fine is far better to now do it in adult manner.

OP posts: