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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to fuming that there has been no staff at the local secondary school since 3.30pm to take a serious complaint about bullying and harrasment

489 replies

tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 17:09

I walked past the house of a family who I do know but not terribly well and I am aware there middle daughter is being bullied.

outside was a group of girls looking in through their window shouting and jeering and swearing. I know the mum works some afternoons so I did intervien and tell the group of girls to leave them alone and move away from the house...in hindsight a bit silly of me as I did have my 5 yr old dd with me, but I wasn't in any way afraid forour safety or anything. Turns out the mum was home and she also then came out. They took the message and went away, but then followed me up the street shouting and swearing and berating me. It was laughable really but attempted to call non emergency police no just to show the little shits they can get away with behaving like this, but my bloody mobile died on me.

Anyway I have been trying to call the school since 3.30 and no one has been available to take my call, and have just now been told all senior management staff left at 4.15 and receptionist cant locate any other teaching staff. no one will be in over half term. now I m shocked that the head did not pick up his answer messages before leaving the school for a whole week, I had left one message at 3.30 and one at 4pm. I find it hard to even believe the head of a secondary school would even finish at 4.15.

Im tempted to call the non emergancy no again to give the message to the school this not acceptable, but Im sure this is very little the police would even be able to do.

also I want to say bunch of little bitches how horrible for a group of girls to behave like this!!!!!

OP posts:
TheFlyingOnion · 27/05/2011 22:14

tomhardy have a drink. It will help

GypsyMoth · 27/05/2011 22:15

you do realise that by escalating this,then the girl you were trying to help is the one who will be hauled in to NAME the girls involved

you realise that this will most likely make matters worse??

(thats if they arent all down the park,together,having all made friends. still slagging off their teachers and laughing at the woman who tried to intervene!!)

DebiTheScot · 27/05/2011 22:16

I haven't read it all but I find it hard to believe that every member of staff had gone by 4.15. The school I work in finishes at 2.30 and I left at 5 today and was nowhere near the last to go.
I think it's worth putting it in writing and giving it to the school after half term. If they are trying to deal with the bullying any extra info could be helpful for them.

activate · 27/05/2011 22:17

that is unfair and wrong too tiffany

the OP has not made it worse in RL - she has made something better, hopefully - she did in RL the right thing

kangers · 27/05/2011 22:20

Debi- it could be case of a tired receptionist-
Or a case of teachers/ head being out of office but still in school-
either way tomhardy needs a drink and to chill. ( I asked for example as not read every page.)

claig · 27/05/2011 22:21

It may not seem serious, it may not be death and destruction, but it could also be very serious. We know that some children commit suicide because of bullying, sometimes even bullying by text message and bullying on facebook. I think it is pretty extreme for the bullies to turn up at someone's house and bully them, in front of neighbours etc. I bet the girl's mum herself was frightened and didn't intervene earlier for fear of escalating teh situation. Finally police forces have been told to treat this type of bullying more seriously after the suicide of a mother and her child, who had been bullied like this for years, without it being stamped out. If people in authority had taken her fears more seriously, then they would still be alive today.

TheFlyingOnion · 27/05/2011 22:22

fucks sake claig, that is not what the OP posted about.

bellavita · 27/05/2011 22:23

Well said activate.

PinotGrigiosKittens · 27/05/2011 22:23

oh claig. You are a bundle of laughs.

kangers · 27/05/2011 22:23

OTT Claig

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 22:24

Ilove i see where you are coming from in saying that and that is why I didnt call the police when i got home. but I do think it should be addressed otherwise this girl will think that it is unimportant that she has been bullied and she is already being bullied. it may make things better, it may back her up.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 27/05/2011 22:26

going by my dd's take on it. most girls dont want it all brought up again a wek later, in school. with the girls involved.

TheFlyingOnion · 27/05/2011 22:26

It will be addressed, tomehardy, ffs, but it won't be addressed at 4pm on the last day before half term.

What part of this are you finding hard to understand??

bellavita · 27/05/2011 22:28

tom, but the Head whether you got to speak to him or not is hardly going to go to the houses of these students tonight is he?

You would not have been put through to the Head's answering machine at our school and if no one else had of been available then it would have to wait until after the half term. Tbh, I know it was good of you wanting to report it, but at the end of the day it also down to this girls mum to stick up for her child too.

GypsyMoth · 27/05/2011 22:28

it may indeed tomh.....who knows??

i have found my own kids at this age fear adults being involved more than the bullies!! but as someone pointed out,its sometimes a life saver.

i guess the mum is best placed to judge where to go

do you know her well enough to chat this one over with??

ravenAK · 27/05/2011 22:28

It absolutely should be addressed!

But the Head could not have done anything tonight, even if (s)he were in the office NOW. The kids aren't there for a week.

You've left a message; you can now send a follow-up letter/email with a detailed account & descriptions.

How does it make any odds whether the Head was available to speak to you or not?

claig · 27/05/2011 22:28

The OP posted about the bullying behaviour and how they then followed her and her 5 year old DD and harassed and swore at her. She tried to call the police and her phone packed up. She was rightly incensed and then tried to speak to someone in authority at the school, in the hope that they might be able to do something about it and stop it happening in the future. In her shocked and upset state, she then was surprised to find that no authority figures were at the school at 3.30 p.m. Considering all the circumstances, I think she was being reasonable.

Feenie · 27/05/2011 22:28

Moral here - don't start an AIBU teacher bashing thread on a Friday at the end of a half term. AIBU invites all opinions, and (duh-uh) you may not like some of them.

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 22:28

I do agree claig that is not ott, none of us really know what this girl has experienced, if this had happened to me as a child or if my dd experienced this I would view it as serious and call the police, some people are just not that strong and sadly become targets for further harassment, that teenagers doing it probably dont understand the true effects of what they are doing its all a laugh and a joke when you are backed up and look hard infront of your mates. mates.

OP posts:
PinotGrigiosKittens · 27/05/2011 22:30

What Feenie said.

TheFlyingOnion · 27/05/2011 22:30

She was being reasonable to complain about the behaviour, claig.

No-one was available to deal with it after school hours. It is now half term. No-one will be available for a week. It will then be dealt with.

What the jeff is the problem?

activate · 27/05/2011 22:30

Let's imagine that you had got through to a Senior Leader at the school, after the children had been dismissed.

What would you then expect to happen? And in what timeframe?

bellavita · 27/05/2011 22:31

But at the end of the day tom, all you did see was one side of it.... not what happened say 45 mins earlier. How do you know the girl inside the house did not instigate all this?

Original poster
tomhardyismydh · 27/05/2011 22:34

what i seen happening was unreasonable and I intervened based on that. reporting it to the school will allow them to get both sides and investigate it further.

OP posts:
claig · 27/05/2011 22:36

I think tomhardy has just told us about an upsetting event and what happened. There is no problem. She was just surprised, that is all. Now she knows that this is the norm. When disturbing things like this happen, people feel powerless and want to report it to someone, anyone in authority, and they want to share the experience with others. I think some of the mickey taking of the OP was harsh and unwarranted.

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