Your best insult

[MrsGaGaGo]

Someone messaged me on here to tell me they knew a good vet :) :) :)
What's the best you've heard?
Remember it's all tongue in cheek :)

You've got a face only a mother could love

i thought 'my arse, your face' was a chat up line?! Clearly we move in very different circles.

i like 'who did your hair? The council?'

these are priceless!

Did you hit every branch on the ugly tree

Once told an ex " if your cock was as big as your ego, i'd give a fuck" on finding the dirty cheating scumbag had been cheating.

Not quite a put down - but my favourite nickname from DH's work was 'leatherman' as this chap was ' a tool that everyone carries'.

There are lots Dh brought home from reports in the past eg a 'village somewhere is missing an idiot'

oh i was thinking of
'have you got a match?'
'my arse, your face'

which is clearly an excellent chat up line, provided anyone uses matches in the world these days.

I once called someone a gaping anal fissure of a man.

i usually get a kiss before i get fucked up the ass.

A Mr Potato head without the bits... Oh but you can pass electricity through a potato

F*k off and when you get there f*k off some more.

If you're looking for sympathy, it's in the dictionary somewhere between Shit and Syphilis.

I don't hate you, I would prefer to waste it on someone who is more worthy of it.

'.....and THAT'S a face for radio'

Used by ex colleague about new boss

She could start a fight in an empty room.

Weaned on vinegar
Dragged up not brought up
face like s/he has been chewing on a wasp

Love that one perfumed life!

Twunt-that's my special MN one :o

'if your cock was as big as your ego, i'd give a fuck' this is a spectacular insult - usually the sort of thing you'd only think of after the fact I applaud the poster who managed this at a spot on time!

Sorry not contributing many of my own - shattered and full of cold so brain not in gear

you knowwhat I think your mother should have swallowed that night may been what i had said to my xh

"Upper class cunt."