Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Your best insult

98 replies

MrsGaGaGo · 27/05/2011 16:14

Someone messaged me on here to tell me they knew a good vet :) :) :)
What's the best you've heard?
Remember it's all tongue in cheek :)

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 27/05/2011 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reality · 27/05/2011 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reality · 27/05/2011 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicbmc · 27/05/2011 19:25

You've got a face only a mother could love Grin

JennyPiccolo · 27/05/2011 19:27

i thought 'my arse, your face' was a chat up line?! Clearly we move in very different circles.

i like 'who did your hair? The council?'

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 27/05/2011 19:29

Grin these are priceless!

Original poster
MrsGaGaGo · 27/05/2011 19:29

Did you hit every branch on the ugly tree

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 27/05/2011 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummissinghermind · 27/05/2011 19:32

Once told an ex " if your cock was as big as your ego, i'd give a fuck" on finding the dirty cheating scumbag had been cheating.

Cathpot · 27/05/2011 19:39

Not quite a put down - but my favourite nickname from DH's work was 'leatherman' as this chap was ' a tool that everyone carries'.

There are lots Dh brought home from reports in the past eg a 'village somewhere is missing an idiot'

JennyPiccolo · 27/05/2011 19:39

oh i was thinking of
'have you got a match?'
'my arse, your face'

which is clearly an excellent chat up line, provided anyone uses matches in the world these days.

sjm123 · 27/05/2011 19:47

I once called someone a gaping anal fissure of a man.

madhousewife · 27/05/2011 19:50

i usually get a kiss before i get fucked up the ass.

silentcatastrophe · 27/05/2011 19:55

A Mr Potato head without the bits... Oh but you can pass electricity through a potato

justpaddling · 27/05/2011 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justpaddling · 27/05/2011 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TribbleWithoutACause · 27/05/2011 20:35

F*k off and when you get there f*k off some more.

Cymar · 27/05/2011 20:50

If you're looking for sympathy, it's in the dictionary somewhere between Shit and Syphilis.

I don't hate you, I would prefer to waste it on someone who is more worthy of it.

heleninahandcart · 27/05/2011 20:50

'.....and THAT'S a face for radio'

Used by ex colleague about new boss

PeachesandStrawberry · 27/05/2011 20:51

She could start a fight in an empty room.

cerealqueen · 27/05/2011 20:56

Weaned on vinegar
Dragged up not brought up
face like s/he has been chewing on a wasp

Love that one perfumed life!

Happymm · 27/05/2011 20:58

Twunt-that's my special MN one :o

YellowDinosaur · 27/05/2011 21:05

'if your cock was as big as your ego, i'd give a fuck' this is a spectacular insult - usually the sort of thing you'd only think of after the fact Grin I applaud the poster who managed this at a spot on time!

Sorry not contributing many of my own - shattered and full of cold so brain not in gear

TheHumanCatapult · 27/05/2011 21:13

you knowwhat I think your mother should have swallowed that night may been what i had said to my xh

MarianneM · 27/05/2011 21:14

"Upper class cunt."