to think a school should be able to look after a child for over an hour?

[pingu2209]

More of a "is my friend being unreasonable" or the school?

A mum friend of mine has a career job but can't afford a nanny. A nanny would cost all of her salary. She uses the before and after school club. She works 1 hour away and her husband works 1 1/2 hours away from school. She was phoned up and asked to come and collect her son as he had a temperature and a rash.

She said, "okay I will be there in about 1 1/4 hours." The school office said, "well we need you here asap, can you get someone to come in the next 10 mins?"

My friend said, "no, I don't have any family living near by and I am uncomfortable asking a friend to pick up my son who is ill and may be contagious."

The school said to her, "you need to have an emergency contact who can get here in under 10 mins."

She replied, "well that would be great in an ideal world, but we are not from here and have no family. A friend would pick up if I was running late, but as all my friends here have children, I can't ask them to pick up my son who is ill. I am just over an hour away but the longer I am on the phone to you the longer I will be. I need to make a couple of calls to cancel meetings etc. I can't just run out, I need about 15 mins just to close up my desk etc."

I understand that a school is there to educate our children, it is not childcare or a 'sick room'. However, surely they need to understand that if both parents are working and they don't have a nanny, one of them will be along as soon as possible.

Who is being unreasonable?

you are the mum OP, its your job to care for your child and put his needs first

the school isnt there to look after poorly kids, they are there to teach and educate and if both parents choose to work miles away from home, thats their choice but not one the school should have to bear the flack from

working parents seem to want the moon on a stick - bottom line is you have kids, they are YOUR responsiblity

Yes I agree with Ishani too.

It is a nightmare, DH and I both work in variable locations, but it's not that unusual for us both to be 2 hrs away during the day. Our childminder will normally pick up DS if he's ill but will not take him if he is being sick. This has only been a real problem once but it did mean him having to wait at school with Noro for an hour and a half while DH pegged it back to the school as I was in a client meeting with my phone off and 100 miles away anyway. We felt terrible and the school weren't happy but hard to see what else we could have done. Fortunately it's only happened once in 3 yrs.

No easy solution sadly.

Fairydoll - infact, I would suggest that the fact your children are sometimes just left with the secretary kinda proves my point.....Schools simply do not have the resources to look after sick children for a long periods of time.

Blame Cameron......but please - it's not (or rarely) the school's fault.

Vicky2011, it's interesting to read that your childminder wouldn't look after a child that was sick, but most posters here seem to think it's sort of ok to expect a school to do exactly that for an hour or two...?

Yup - secretary usually minds them at ours too, fairydoll

The children all know her and I imagine she's first aid trained.

Actually, the more I read these posts, the more I now think that if you are going to be two hours away from school, you really should have alternative provision in case of any emergency, especially if the children are small,even if it means you ringing round at the time. Whenever I've been out of town, I've tried to find someone available I could call on if need be. An older child would be more aware of these issues and understand that parents can't just drop everything, but it's not like this for younger children.

working parents seem to want the moon on a stick - bottom line is you have kids, they are YOUR responsiblity

it is precisely because they are our responsibility that those of us who work, do so.

besides, the WOHP thing is irrelevant here - are you seriously saying that a SAHP should remain within 10 (or 20) minutes of school all day everyday, just in case?

I'd love to know who these mythical 'emergency contacts' are that we are supposed to be able to arrange. Both DH and I work between 45mins and an hour away from home, but as I use a train that is only an hourly service so depending on the timing of a call it could take me 1.5 hours to get to school. We live in a town where the only people we know are parents of our DCs friends - all of whom work too - mostly f/t, or at least they are at work the same days that we both work. Someone suggested asking the school for a list of childcare providers - are childminders really to be expected to be 'on standby' for children they don't know just because it might take the parents over an hour to get home?? I don't see that happening. The reality for us, and most of the people we know, is that it's either me or DH and it takes as long as it takes. Even if I knew other parents who didn't work I wouldn't dream of asking them to pick up a sick child of mine and take their germs into their home.

We were called to pick up DD from school last week - I was in a meeting with my phone off and DH was finally tracked down in another part of his building. It was an hour from phone call to collection - the worst thing was that DD was only 'feeling unwell and a bit upset' - spent the afternoon helping DH in the garden and not a whiff of D&V about her!!

I am another SAHM who could not get to school within 20 minutes, let alone 10. And that's presuming I'm at home - we live in a small village & so pretty much everywhere I need to go (supermarket, Drs etc) is about 30 mins away. I can completely see how even a SAHM who was out shopping, at an appointment etc. could take more than an hour to arrive, once the message had been received. 10 mins does seem unrealistic whatever your employment situation .

mrsbun - I think you'll find that most WOHP consider working, providing for their children etc is putting their childs needs first. I certainly would love not too work but it's not financially viable - I think you're being unrealistic if you suggest that working parents are not responsible for their children

Scholes34 - yes totally agree. I'm looking at this from the point of view of toddlers really. My 5 yr old shouldn't be expected to sit quiety in a secretary's office for 2 hours if he's feeling ill.

Smiler10 - have you read the stories on this thread that have demonstrated that even where there are plenty of emergency contacts, sometimes all these can fail at once? Eg: RantyMcRantPants' post at 9:54:18 today, where all 4 sets of emergency contacts happened to be unavailable to fetch home a child who had a headache.

Or consider this - when we moved to Scotland, three years ago, we knew no-one. I still do not have anyone local who I can put down as an emergency contact for my children - no-one I am close enough to to be able to ask that favour. My dh works at least 40 minutes away from the dses school by bus (he commutes by public transport) - so should I sit at home all day, on the off-chance that one of the dses gets ill? I can't go shopping, or take the dog out for a walk, or even attend my weekly psychotherapy sessions (that are helping me with depression that has left me suicidal in the past), during which I have to switch off my phone - just in case one of the boys has a headache? That would be ridiculously unrealistic.

Your kids are your responsibility.. yes and one of those responsibilities is to provide an education for them .. hence they are at school

While they are there the school assumes responsibilty for them. If the child becomes unwell or the school closes (snow/burst pipe etc) then the school have a duty of care to ensure that child is safe and looked after until they are picked up by an appropriate adult

And in a recession you take work where you can get it. Working an hour from home is no worse than go to the supermarket without your mobile. The school have a duty of care

Of course they shouldnt nurse a sick kid .. all any reasonable parent wants is for the school to make their dd or ds as comfortable as they can, keep an eye to make sure they are not getting worse and to dial 999 if they have any doubts. Surely this is not too much to ask

Punkatheart if you take brownies away for the weekend the forms the parents sign allow you to authorise any treatments/ surgery at a hospital so if parents are (god forbid ) out for the afternoon .. you can have the child treated

I dont know if schools have this kind of coverage. I suspect not

I would pick up sick kids for a friend but I dont know that I would pick one up that might have meningitis...Imagine the fall out if the child has got meningitis and suddenly worsens and you dont react in time. Better the school gets them to hospital

StayingDavidTennantsGirl...

But the fact remains......SCHOOLS DO NOT HAVE THE RESOURCES DO DEAL WITH THIS!!! I can't put it much clearer.....and whether or not your 20 emergency contacts have all failed........it's still not the school's concern is it? Why should the school be concerend about where you work, or live? I expect my child's school to do a damed good job at teaching. NOTHING MORE.

I must say I'm quite amused by all the posts about poor little children being forced to languish in a horrible dark secretary's office when they're not feeling well.

You would think it was horrible for a sick child, but actually dd seems to regard it as a great treat and privilege to be able to go out of class and sit and watch the lovely motherly secretary.
I was called to pick her up from the school carol service last year (which I couldn't go to because dc2 was ill) and I found her sitting in the back pew having a lovely cuddle with the headmaster and she was most put out at being taken home

but surely NO childminder can be listed as the emergency contact because they are looking after other kids whose parents are not going to be too happy about it?

would you send your kid to a CM who was serving as the general local picker-up of sick kids whilst supposedly looking after your child?

Giddy pickle of course you cant just leave a child sitting about with a head injury or potentially broken leg

but the school as well as the parents have some responsibility... if you cant get the parents and you dont want to call 999 then use your common sense and call nhs 24 for advice/help thats what they are there for

the child is the schools responsibility till they are picked up

"it's still not the school's concern is it?"

nice attitude .. I would have thought people teaching youngsters would care about the kids in their classes

frasersmummy, and who exactly is supposed to call NHS direct, have that conversation, make a risk assesment blah blah blah? It's a drain on resource which takes people away from the classroom.

frasersmummy - that was a bit of a cheapshot. I could eaily say that I would have expected a loving parent to MAKE SURE they collect thier sick child from school within 30 mins.

Oh - and while "the people who teach the youngsters in thier class" are looking after a sick child - who exactly is supposed to be teaching the rest of the class?

mrsbunnthebaker - of course, you're right. Moon on a stick. I shall quit my job immediately to sit home by the phone in case DD's school call. Oh, but wait.... if I don't work, we won't have a home for me to sit in. But that's OK, I'll set us all up in a tent outside the school gates.

FFS, no-one is saying they would just shrug and leave their child at school if they got a call to pick them up. We all get there as soon as we can. But sometimes that takes longer than is ideal for anyone. My concern would be more for my child sitting feeling poorly than for the school, though, TBH.

Of course school should have some kind of provision for sick children! I was called once when my daughter had been knocked down in the playground and knocked out a tooth . I went straight away, and it took me maybe 20min to get there, but when I was arrived she was sitting on her own waiting for me in a corridor. No-one (office staff, janitor, headmaster) was around to even tell me in full what had happened. She was shivery and in shock and should really not have been left alone I think - why not let her stay in a corner of the classroom till I got there? (Yes I did speak to the head about it later).

BTW, we went out to look for the tooth (unclear at that point whether it was an adult tooth and needed saving - turned out not to be). I'd located the school secretary by this point and asked for a broom to help the search - she gave it to me reluctantly, saying, "It's only supposed to be used indoors." . Sod the broom, my child could have a life of dental work ahead and you're more worried about a broom.