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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to imagine that everyone on mumsnet (except me) is a domestic goddess

116 replies

vmcd28 · 24/05/2011 16:58

Whenever one of you mentions making packed lunches for the kids, I picture an immaculate kitchen, and lunches being made using lots of fresh food from Tupperware tubs.

You all have really handsome DHs/DPs who you are madly in love with, and they all have well-paid jobs.

None of you have dirty homes.

You all go on family picnics every weekend.

I'm sure I'm right. Hmm

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 24/05/2011 22:15

Tidy house??? You could eat your dinner off the floor in my house.

Well, so long as you wanted toast crusts, cold chips and dried up peas... Grin

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 24/05/2011 23:53

Al0uise Too bloody right I will be!!! And I will most definitely be assisting you in standing up at the end of the evening Grin If it hadn't been a 3000 mile round trip, I'd have been there for sure.

leonoravonwagner · 25/05/2011 00:12

I am not a domestic goddess by any stretch of the imagination.

I am however, excellent at BJ's.......Wink

jellyvodkas · 26/05/2011 09:44

Total un domestic goddess last night.
Mac Donalds supper !
But... I am going to hoover the lounge carpet before I go to the Gym and the washing is in the machine.....I do like clean clothes.

jellyvodkas · 26/05/2011 09:47

Total un domestic goddess last night.
Mac Donalds supper !
But... I am going to hoover the lounge carpet before I go to the Gym and the washing is in the machine.....I do like clean clothes.

GetOrfMoiCase · 26/05/2011 09:54

Pristine kitchen - yes. Clean as an operating theatre.

But open any cupboard or drawer in my house, all manner of shit falls out. It is like Monica's cupboard of shame in Friends Grin

I am no domestic goddess:

  • never make packed lunches. can't be arsed.
  • don't cook every day. Again, bollocks to that effort.
  • have baked about 3 cakes in my life, they were all crap
  • I can't be doing with picnics. Boiled egg in a field with horse flies? Nah.
  • no hobbies. On my CV it says I like badminton. I last played that when Princess Di was alive Grin
  • i love my job however everyone I work with are people like nuclear physicists and I am as thick as two short planks in comparison.
  • i can only be bothered to fake tan up to my knees, so my legs look like a skewbald pony

I could carry on in this vein for hours about my inadequacies.

ChinnyReckon · 26/05/2011 09:57

I love that summing up of a picnic! It encapsulates all of my hopes for a picnic and all of my disappointment in the reality Grin

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 26/05/2011 10:04

GetOrf just Grin

GetOrfMoiCase · 26/05/2011 10:04

I hate days out as well.

I get really bored. So if we go to somewhere hideous like legoland I would want to leave after about an hour (a perfectly sensible response actually).

Luckily dd has inherited by gene of impatience and feels the same. If we go to the beach we leave after a couple of hours and go to do something else. If we go to London we go to a museum or gallery for 30 mins, have a look at one room and then think 'NEXT'.

Barbecues are another. All that effort to take all the food into the garden and then all that effort to cook it and then take all the stuff back inside. Then it gets cold. Then it starts blowing a gale.

I would rather go to a nice pub beer garden and get someone else to do it all for me. Barbecued sausages my arse.

That said, I love cooking and am a very good savoury cook. But I would never in a month of sundays cook a pudding. I made some scones last night and wanted to clock myself on the head with the rolling pin at the end of it, it was so tedious.

GetOrfMoiCase · 26/05/2011 10:06

That said, I am obsessed with the perfect Christmas.

I usually end up sobbing in the garage several times over the christmas period due to things not being like something out of Good Housekeeping.

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 26/05/2011 10:09

Why did you make scones if you know that it's a task that could possibly lead to self harming in the extreme I wonder?

RockStockandTwoOpenBottles · 26/05/2011 10:10

And to get a perfect Good Housekeeping Christmas, one really ought to have started last month...

RunAwayWife · 26/05/2011 10:15

Since getting up at 6.30 I have made a cooked breakfast for everyone, got DS1 off to school cleaned the upstairs bathroom and two of the bedrooms, cleaned out the hamster, cleaned the kitchen, put the washing on, hoovered, and now I am going to take DS2 to get a birthday gift for DS1

Poledra · 26/05/2011 10:18

Immaculate kitchen/clean house - well, the Environmental health haven't closed me down yet but it's only a matter of time.

Lunches - only allow the DDs to have a packed lunch once a week, due to the sheer tedium of making packed lunches. When they can make them for themselves, they can have 'em every day if they like - till then, it's school dinners!

Handsome DH - if I drink enough wine and take out my contact lenses, I can still see the tall, long-haired, slightly hard-looking biker I fell in love with 18 years ago - sober and in focus, he's still tall but graying and slightly tubby. And I earn more than he does.

Poledra · 26/05/2011 10:19

But I am a really good cook, both savoury and sweet

OTheHugeManatee · 26/05/2011 10:42

Who is it who keeps a MN spreadsheet? This thread is spreadsheet gold . Grin

Kitchen - variable
Fresh food - I try
Gorgeous DP who I love and has well paid job - check
Family picnics - not if I can avoid it Hmm

slug · 26/05/2011 10:43

I am a good cook but rely on my neighbours to remind me when INSET days are at school Blush and am unashamedly a domestic slut. 'Keep it above dyssentry level' is my mantra when it comes to cleaning.

GetOrfMoiCase · 26/05/2011 11:08

poledra Grin

I made scones for work. I argued that scones are from DEVON, not bollocking Cornwall. Cornwall have the pasties. Then we had a debate over the fact that pasties are crap and scones are good. A colleague is from Cornwall , he has made pasties, I have made scones. We are having a west country food death match during a meeting this afternoon.

Then I thought 'fuck I have to make scones'. And I made 'em at midnight. I hope they like them. I want to WIN.

Ormirian · 26/05/2011 11:09

Ha ha ha!

GetOrfMoiCase · 26/05/2011 11:09

And I have bought Little Scarlett Tiptree jam (wanted the BEST jam to show off).

£3.89 FOR A POT OF BASTARD JAM

Punkatheart · 26/05/2011 11:09

Is it time to get up yet?

'....all manner of shit falls out.'

Getorf, have you been in MY cupboards again?

I want a pinny with that slogan:

'Keep it above dyssentry level'

(Although there is only one 's' in.....no stop......can't help it...spelling Tourette's)

Ormirian · 26/05/2011 11:10

getorf - don't be silly! You can't compare pasties and scones. It would be like comparing....well... pasties and scones Grin

I love both!

Poledra · 26/05/2011 11:16

"£3.89 FOR A POT OF BASTARD JAM" Shock

You're on the wrong thread there, m'girl - you need that one on your 'Extravagances you curl your lip at'.

Anyway, I'd've happily made your scones for you if you didn't live in the arse-end of beyond quite far away Grin

GetOrfMoiCase · 26/05/2011 11:18

The pot of jam is sat there, looking at me.

What is in that jam? What is it made of? Fairy hearts?

LadyGrace · 26/05/2011 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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