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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not wanting to lie for DP to his family?

84 replies

Lorita · 24/05/2011 14:05

DP and I have been together around a year and I have never met any of his family or friends. I let it go but now its coming up to a year together I've pushed the issue and only now he's admitted he hasn't let me meet anyone as he's lied to everyone about my name as he was embarrassed by my real name and didn't want everyone taking the piss so told everyone I was called Angie. Now he's saying he'll let me meet them if I promise to go along with it and not let on about my real name but I'm really struggling with this, why should I lie?? but if I don't it's going to make him look so silly.
AIBU to be really angry about this? he's making out that I'm over-thinking it but long term I don't see how I can keep up this lie, it's bound to come out sooner or later and then I'll look as bad as him.

OP posts:
Lainey1981 · 24/05/2011 14:07

He was embarrassed by your real name? Ffs! What a nobber, why are you with someone who is that shallow?

Lainey1981 · 24/05/2011 14:07

Oh and you are so NBU

thisisyesterday · 24/05/2011 14:08

oh my god!

i would be more angry that he thought your name was too embarassing to tell people than the fact that he now wants you to lie tbh!

what a prick

stillstanding · 24/05/2011 14:08

wtf? this doesn't make sense. how can you be overthinking your name? are you sure you want to be with this person?

RottenTiming · 24/05/2011 14:09

Pretend that it was his pet name for you and tell his friends your real name as soon as you meet them and he introduces you as Angie.

Personally though I'd be eyeing up a bolt for the hills if he is that shallow !

Smuddy81 · 24/05/2011 14:10

I dont think this is a problem you'll have to face for long... Get rid! This might be the tip of the iceburg!

YANBU

AuntieMonica · 24/05/2011 14:11

how strange - i have never heard of anything like this at all Hmm

unless there is a RL Angie somewhere else, who also hasn't ever met his family either?

i'm not usually so suspicious but this is WEIRD

TubbyDuffs · 24/05/2011 14:11

Sorry, but how old are you both?

SarkyLady · 24/05/2011 14:12

Are you sure that he wasn't previously/simultaneously going out with someone called Angie?

MadamDeathstare · 24/05/2011 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 24/05/2011 14:12

Is this for real?

I would dump him.. honestly, I would!!! I would wonder if he had been seeing someone else with the "name" he wants you to adopt.....

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 24/05/2011 14:12

What the actual JEFF?

What a fucking twat! I am intrigued about your name though - what's wrong with it? Without giving it away, is it something really bizarre? Funny? Chavvy? The mind boggles Confused

Oh, and 'let you' meet his family? Controlling much? Hmm

squeakytoy · 24/05/2011 14:12

x-posted with Sarky! :)

kw1986 · 24/05/2011 14:14

How peculiar!!

Are you willing to divulge you're real name? Is it Lorita?

How can a name be embarrassing anyway? (Unless you happen to be called Arsetitsface McGee or something!)

He's a weirdo and he's BU to not have just told them your name.

MrSpoc · 24/05/2011 14:16

cant believe no one has asked you yet. "What is your name? and why is it so embarrassing?"

TBH he sounds an idiot but if it turns out your names is something so far fetched then I may change my mind

Folk · 24/05/2011 14:16

"Ah you must be Angie"
"No - your son is a tit and i'm leaving him in 5 minutes, nice to meet you"

Sn0wflake · 24/05/2011 14:16

It's not acceptable.

squeakytoy · 24/05/2011 14:17

Actually, the more I think about this, the more convinced I am he is lying. Seeing someone for a year, but never meeting their friends or family is not right at all... alarm bells would have been clanging for me long before now.

Folk · 24/05/2011 14:18

Yes - he was so seeing an Angie when he met you - you may even have overlapped....

bubblecoral · 24/05/2011 14:19

WTF?? I was all ready to say that your loyalty lies with your dp, not his family, when I first read the thread title, but now, not so much.

I think he probably was seeing someone called Angie at some point, and he just didn't want to explain the whole sorry situation to his family. If he loved you he would be propud of you and stick up for you, especially over something as silly as a name! It sounds horrible to say that, but when dh and I got together he had something slightly embarrasing about him (sorted now) that I wasn't particularly keen to tell my family about, but I did because I love him exactly the way he is and I'm proud of him the way he is. I would never ever have allowed him to feel that I was embarrased about him, especially when it was somethinghe couldn't help.

You have only been with this man for a year, and you haven't even met his family yet. Listen to the warning bells and get the hell out of there.

Miggsie · 24/05/2011 14:19

Your DH has never introduced you to his family and friends???!!!!!

So, it's ok for him to shag you, but you're not the sort of person he'd show to anyone else...? And he makes up a person to tell his family about rather than talk about you, who actually exists? What kind of people are these?

Yuk, dump him NOW

scurryfunge · 24/05/2011 14:20

He is so married.

LDNmummy · 24/05/2011 14:20

Sorry but what could be wrong with your name?

Could you give an example without letting on as to what your name actually is?

He sounds like an immature twit, and if his family really are that bad I wouldn't want to meet them or continue with that kind of a relationship. What if you got married one day? Would he continue to lie and expect you to carry on with it right through the vows?

Value yourself and don't stay with someone who is this embarrassed by something like your name.

Feeling very Sad for you because that is nasty.

ForeverNamechanging · 24/05/2011 14:20

your partner and his family are twats

LDNmummy · 24/05/2011 14:21

Or what others have said about him seeing someone else. Seems the more credible explanation in this case.