Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mums going ga ga as nursery says no nuts/products

200 replies

thekidsrule · 23/05/2011 22:20

hi,this isnt about me but happened at my sons nursery today and not sure if the parents ABU

as we collected are children a worker asked all parents NOT to include any nut products in their childs packed lunches as they now have a child with a nut allergy

Two of the parents went mad and were very rude to the worker about the ban

can see both sides but as my son dosent take in these products (peanut butter) etc it wont effect me and is probably why i cant make an opinion on this

so do you think the two parents who object to the ban are BU

OP posts:
MotherSnacker · 24/05/2011 07:35

I don't agree babybarrister. I think bans should be age related.

Animation · 24/05/2011 07:38

Babybarrister - I don't agree with you either - how can they not be helpful?

MotherSnacker · 24/05/2011 07:38

And I do have a child with a nut allergy too. The child has a known allergy to nuts. Not all children understand not to eat others lunches and even with supervision you can't aleays manage it. A ban can be SN related too.

bruffin · 24/05/2011 07:55

Most parents with allergic children don't support banallrgy experts do not support bans, yet mums on the internet think they know better

babybarrister · 24/05/2011 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goblinchild · 24/05/2011 08:01

I think there's also a supervision issue, you can monitor your child closely if you are 1:1 or 1:4.
Doing the same with 1:30 or in a dining hall or playground is more difficult.

Animation · 24/05/2011 08:01

Will some of you parents and 'experts' who think banning is NOT helpful please explain?

MotherSnacker · 24/05/2011 08:05

I still think bans are appropriate in some cases. Individual factors should always be taken into account when doing risk assesments. I don't see how there can be one rule either way.

mouseanon · 24/05/2011 08:13

My DS has a nut allergy and I do support a nut ban when he is too young to know for himself what may or may not contain nuts! How's a 3 yr old supposed to know wether something has nuts in. He can hardly read the ingredients list?! He is very good at accepting and understanding that there are things he can't have. He knows how bad it can make him feel after all. But I'm not happy to gamble his life on him knowing what may or may not be safe when he's so small. When he's older then absolutely. But he at the very least needs to learn how to read ingredients and allergy information on food packets.

Fortunately his pre-school have a nut ban and know to keep him away from eggs when they do baking. School has a nut ban, as do all the schools in the lea.

SardineQueen · 24/05/2011 08:15

We have just been told no nuts or nut based stuff (nutella was the example they gave) at our nursery as a child with an allergy has just started. That's fine, obviously.

If they were asking us not to have anything which "may contain traces of nuts" it would be tricky, but I don't know if that ever happens. I know some children are that allergic.

HSMM · 24/05/2011 08:15

My DD loves peanut butter sandwiches, but she was not allowed to take them to primary school. She accepted it very easily. She also had a good friend with a dairy allergy, so if she had cheese sandwiches, she didn't sit next to him at lunch time and thoroughly washed her hands afterwards (they were never tempted to kiss Grin).

MotherSnacker · 24/05/2011 08:20

Some don't believe in bans

Because you can't guarantee a nut free environment so the child gets a false sense of security. (non nut foods can become contaminated if prepared near nuts)

Because children need to learn how to manage it by not touching others food.

But what if the child can't manage it? Or the other kids who may eat nuts and then touch the allergic child becauase they can't grasp the risk. A ban in a nursery or a special school reasonable to me.

ellodarlin · 24/05/2011 08:27

I don't think bans are appropriate in schools because.

Other parents don't comply

Other parents forget to comply

Other parents mean to comply but there is a change in the ingredients/manufacture of a product and they didn't think to check the label this time, after all its for their non allergic child, not his friend.

My child then thinks its ok to share his friends biscuit because there is a nut ban therefore its safe. He is a bit concerned but his friend persuades him. The dinner lady doesn't notice/care because vigilance isn't needed in a safe school.

My child becomes accustomed to sharing food so is more likely to have a reaction outside of school.

I cannot depend on 200 other parents having the vigilance that I have so it puts ds in an environment where he thinks he is safe but he actually isn't.

There is a girl in our school with a severe reaction to milk, eggs, peanuts, treenuts. She sits at a 'safe' table and on several occasions the other children on that table have brought things for their lunch that can kill her because the parents aren't used to dealing with it. I prefer to have ds in the 'gen pop' with strict instructions to not touch/not share.

It also puts nuts/peanuts in a special category leaving milk/egg/celery etc allergic children more vulnerable as people consider their reactions to be mild.

That said I think that a 3yo smeared with peanut butter putting his nutty hands all over the nursery presents a problem that school just don't have. Children need to learn to keep their food to themselves and wash their hands properly after eating.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 24/05/2011 08:27

Bruffin - I think it is unfair of you to dismiss the concerns of parents who have children with allergies, or to imply that they are silly for not agreeing with the anaphylaxis campaign.

I don't have a child with a serious allergy, but I am sure that those who do will worry about it, read up about it, learn about it, and will have their own considered and intelligent opinions. They will also know their child best and will understand how blanket guidelines sometimes have to change to suit an individual or individual circumstances.

I think your comment about 'mums on the internet' thinking they know better, was rude.

babybarrister · 24/05/2011 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 24/05/2011 08:35

As a parent with a child allergic to nuts I do agree with bans.

Not because I think that this will make everythig safe...of course there will be hiccups where parents forget or get it wrong, and of course we tell our children to be careful.

But these bans do minimise the problem. I can be sure that for the most part things are nut free...which has allowed my DD to go to school. If other children were allowed to sit in the refectory eating peanut butter andwiches and snickers she couldn't attend, simple as that.

Sirzy · 24/05/2011 08:37

I think any parent who assumes a ban on the product in school means there child is safe is delluding themselves really. You can't replace educating the child (and peers) about the danger and how to respond in case of a reaction.

I still think there is, on a case by case basis, a place for bans if that is going to reduce the chances of the reaction in the first place.

bruffin · 24/05/2011 08:37

Bruffin - I think it is unfair of you to dismiss the concerns of parents who have children with allergies, or to imply that they are silly for not agreeing with the anaphylaxis campaign

I have a DH and DS with nut and other allergies. I know exactly what the concerns are I have lived with it for 24 years with DH and over 10 Years with DS.

trixymalixy · 24/05/2011 08:37

Another allergy board regular here. DS was so allergic to milk that we couldn't go in coffee shops aS he would react to the milk being steamed at the other side of the room. Thankfully he is growing out of it now.

I agree with babybarrister and bruffin in that to ban everything would just be ludicrous.

I think the parents WBU in this case as their objection was not through knowledge of allergies but through selfishness. The nursery asked them not to bring in nut products they should not have reacted so rudely.

DarlingHusband · 24/05/2011 08:43

You should stop worrying and take the time to learn basic English (such as the difference between affect and effect). This will help you teach your own child in a year or two.

GrimmaTheNome · 24/05/2011 08:48

Also it may give a false sense of security
It is better to teach proper awareness rather than ban.

Why should it be seen as an either/or? Ban obvious allergens, to minimise the likelihood of a problem, but act on the assumption that there still may be allergens around.

Its sort of analagous to teaching your child road safety but still holding its hand to cross a busy road.

Original poster
thekidsrule · 24/05/2011 08:51

how is that comment helping the debate,i for one am atleast learning things from this thread that i hadnt thought/known before,that can only be a good thing

OP posts:
Original poster
thekidsrule · 24/05/2011 08:51

was at darling

OP posts:
Animation · 24/05/2011 08:54

Grimma

Yes I agree - banning doesn't mean you're no longer vigilant.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 24/05/2011 08:54

This is interesting. I always assumed ds's school had a nut ban, as it seems to be the norm. but I also wondered about all the other allergies. Are nut allergies really more dangerous than other allergies (genuine question, this)?

However, despite there being at least one dc with severe allergies, there is no ban. The children all seem very aware of who has allergies, as do the staff. In fact ds told me all about boy x's allergies and how you weren't to share food with him or go near him if you were eating.

It's interesting to see that bans aren't supported by the Anaphylaxis Campaign. I did wonder about ds's school - it seemed highly unlikely that they didn't care. Maybe bans are a less involved, easy route - but not necessarily effective.