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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to let MIL have the baby again until she listens to DP and I

83 replies

Mammie81 · 23/05/2011 13:11

We went out for just 3 hours yesterday. MIL has been desperate to have the baby as she has our nephew every other night and thinks we are a bit strange for not letting her look after DS more (hes 5 months and shes had him on her own 3 times, which I actually think is alot given that we see her at least 3 times a week)

When we got back the house was boiling and DS was sleeping on the sofa, with two cushions against him, a blanket underneath him, a blanket doubled over, with a baby gro and cardigan on. I put him down in a vest in this hot weather normally! He was so wet I thought he'd wee-ed himself. His hair was like he'd got out of a bath and we had to towel him dry and change his clothes. MIL had gone to bed (8.30pm)

DP has spoken to her numerous times about the heat. After this time where she clearly hasnt listened again, am I BU not to leave him there again until he's old enough to complain about the heat himself! (Thats a semi serious joke) I feel a bit like Im being harsh but she just doesnt listen.

OP posts:
BlueCat2010 · 23/05/2011 13:13

YADNBU - it could kill him!

greeneone12 · 23/05/2011 13:14

Oh my goodness..I would have been absolutely fuming. He was so wet it was like he had wet himself???? What was this lady thinking?

I think you are totally within your right to not let her have him again. What she did was extremely dangerous!

tinierclanger · 23/05/2011 13:14

She left him on the sofa and went to bed?! Aren't you as bothered about that as the heat?

greeneone12 · 23/05/2011 13:14

Did she apologise and realise that is was wrong?

ChinnyReckon · 23/05/2011 13:15

She went to bed and left a 5 month old asleep on the sofa?? Shock

AMumInScotland · 23/05/2011 13:16

Sorry am I reading that right? Your mum had gone to bed and left the baby on the sofa?

I wouldn't be leaving him with her again until he is old enough to fend for himself, complain about the heat, take off the covers etc. She clearly can't or won't listen to you if you've gone through all this with her many times already.

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 23/05/2011 13:16

Fuck! How bloody irresponsible! YANBU. Does she realise she was endangering his LIFE FFS?!? Shock

JeelyPiece · 23/05/2011 13:16

Also what was she thinking leaving him sleeping unsupervised on the sofa, that's not safe surely?

TandB · 23/05/2011 13:16

I would be less fussed about the heat than the fact that she left a 5 month old sleeping on the sofa while she went to bed.

JeelyPiece · 23/05/2011 13:17

too slow typing... oops!

Reality · 23/05/2011 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hormonalmum · 23/05/2011 13:17

he was on the sofa on his own whislt she went to bed????
Clearly the woman has issues.

cottonreels · 23/05/2011 13:18

She does need speaking to. I think you should write her a list and give her a digital thermometer (one of those gro - egg type things). Write all the possible temperatures in like 20 degrees = babygro, no vest and one layer of thin blanket etc etc

CrapBag · 23/05/2011 13:18

YANBU.

She has proven that she will not listen, therefore she cannot be trusted to look after him on her own.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 23/05/2011 13:18

I am not one of the most lax parents I know but YADNBU it is so wrong on both counts , the heat and the sofa.

Personally I wouldn't let her have him again ANY time soon, and I WOULD tell her why!

Good luck

Original poster
Mammie81 · 23/05/2011 13:19

Im bothered about it all - the sofa, the going to bed, the heat. I think Ive got a bit of a fight on my hands too, as shes always asking when she can look after him again.

OP posts:
cottonreels · 23/05/2011 13:19

Also don't like the idea of him sleeping unsupervised on the sofa. Was their anyone else awake downstairs?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 23/05/2011 13:19

sorry that should have been I am

JeelyPiece · 23/05/2011 13:20

Wouldn't bother with the safety advice to your MIL, she won't listen will she. I wouldn't trust her again, it shows a total lack of common sense and basic awareness of safety.

suzikettles · 23/05/2011 13:20

He could have died. That is so, so dangerous (the sofa unsupervised, although the heat isn't great). YANBU.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 23/05/2011 13:20

The old MN favourite

No is a complete sentence.

No you can not have him again I can not trust you to care for him appropriately.

end of conversation.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 23/05/2011 13:21

Fuck speaking to her with rules, she doesn't get the baby again unsupervised. It's not good writing down 'one layer of blanket' for a woman who will leave a five month old alone on the sofa and go upstairs to bed. That is utterly, utterly appalling, and clearly she is completely unsuitable as a babysitter. As Reality said, he could have died.

Did you speak to her at the time, OP? What could possibly have been her reason for doing that?

ShuffleBallChange · 23/05/2011 13:21

If my MIL did that to my 5 month old, she would not see him or my 5 year old unsupervised ever again. Is she very old? Does she acknowledge what could have happened?

This has actually made me feel a little sick. You certainly are not BU

LITTLEGEEK · 23/05/2011 13:22

YANBU leaving a 5 month old asleep on a sofa unsupervised is just dangerous. What if he had woken up and managed to wriggle off?. What did she say when she woke up or did she even bother to see you before leaving.

JeelyPiece · 23/05/2011 13:22

What did you say to her when you found your DS like that OP?