...not to do something for someone because I cannot be bothered and her tone irritates me...

[Punkatheart]

Firstly, I know this may sound piddling in the scheme of things. It probably wouldn't irritate of bother any of you feisty healthy ladies. But...

..some time ago a complete stranger wrote to me, saying that she was a writer and her relative had lived in my house years and years ago. She told me that she wanted to come and see my home. NOT ASKED. She sounded eccentric, arrogant and pushy. I found it quite rude. So I ignored. I did check out her website and she sounded mildly batty.

Today, when I am feeling really grotty - being sick with some complications over chemo - a woman turns up. I can see her and she is loitering, tutting. I am just too poorly to go to her. House is a tip, hair unbrushed...I am not the Queen of Social today. A note through the door confirms it is this woman. Another pushy note. 'I did write to you.' etc.

Am I being annoying to her by just not telling her to go away? There are just so many days at the moment when I can't even keep up with washing the dishes. House needs decorating and I am really really struggling. This would mean having to tidy everything. To give you an idea of my exhaustion - I have to lie down sometimes after hoovering downstairs!

Opinions greatly received as I do have a nagging guilt but also that irritation.

BTW - she has just come back and rung the bell again!!

Open the door, tell her how ill you are, and tell her to fuck off.

Ignore her

YANBU tell her to bugger off. Your house, you decide who comes in it. ( btw, tell the house work to bugger off too, it will still be there when you feel better.)

Ignore her, if she persists, throw eggs at her, lol

Hope you are feeling better!

No guilt required. She asked in her letter and got no response. Her needs/wants are not your responsibility so ignore her.

I'd tell her that it's inconvenient, and you'd rather she didn't keep harassing you. You shouldn't worry about some pushy persons feelings, especially when you're poorly. I hope you feel better soon.

stick a not back through at her

You wrote, I didn't answer, piss off.

cheeky cow - tell her to do one

that should have been note obviously, but a not shouted toddlerlike through your letterbox might work equally as well, rofl

how cheeky!

YANBU. If you can't face opening the door, email her and tell her that it is not possible for her to visit your home. It's probably better to tell her straight than just ignore her, as she sounds persistent and slightly mad.

Hope you feel better soon.

You are under no obligation to let her in and in fact, she is being quite rude by hanging around outside, making you feel uncomfortable. Put a note on the door saying you are ill and how ill you are, and ask her politely to leaveyou in peace. Sounds like a serious lack of social skills.

Just because she is ringing the bell doesn't mean you have to answer the door. If you'd rather just leave her loitering, then fine. For all she knows her letter never arrived and you're worried she's delusional and dangerous!
However, if you'd rather she'd just go away, then open the door and tell her that you're not accepting any visitors for the time being, and close the door again.
I hope you're feeling better soon.

God, ignore her.
You are under absolutely no obligation to open your door to anyone, definitely not pushy, uninvited strangers.

And if she's as odd as you think, opening the door to tell her to go away will end up with her barging in and roaming through your house uninvited anyway.
Watch from your window in a bored and amused fasion instead.

Perhaps with the air of one who is about to phone the police to report a stalker .

The house is really terrible though. I think that is what really makes me ashamed. Some people giggle and say their house is a mess and that translates as there is one piece of pot pourri that might have - horrors - strayed onto the floor. Once.

Mine is - sigh - really in need of TLC.

I do like the eggs scenario. I have chickens and so they would be mighty fresh!!

Tell her to push off, I quite like the idea of writing a not and shoving through the letterbox at her.

*note, sorry

YANBU. Your house is your own private space. You can keep it in whatever state you want to keep it in. You only have to invite in those you want to invite in. This lady has no right to be allowed to visit and her behaviour eradicates all possible guilt her appearance might have otherwise brewed.

If she doesn't go away you can phone the police and ask their advice as to how to get her to go away.

You poor thing. You have a very high opinion of most MNers though- I get the irritated shits if somebody coughs too loudly, so loitering around my house and hassling me would give me the RAGE

Tell her to fuck off. And tell her about the chemo, and make her feel like a pushy rude baggage, because that's what she is.

I would be inclined to ignore her. If she wants to stand outside your house tutting then it is her time she is wasting, not yours.

Is she still there?

Do the note thing and tell her to bog off.

YANBU. Tell her to go away.

Push a note through the door to her saying you are having chemo are not at all well and would she go away.

If that doesn't work push another note through telling her you've called the police.

at 'irritated shits' - love that phrase. (Stifles cough)

Regardless of you feeling grotty, you are under no obligation to allow her into your home. She sounds a bit dotty TBH. Who turns up, uninvited to a complete stranger's home expecting to be allowed in? Loon.

Are there any local MNetters who can walk past your house in small groups of 2 or 3 loudly saying things like "that must be who she was talking about".