DH comes from abroad and English not his first language. We have a three month old DD and I'm on mat leave. There's a bar near where we live which fills up with expats from his home country. We have had issues in the past with the way he visits this bar: he spent a lot of time in there in the weeks immediately after I gave birth (went there almost every day, albeit only for an hour or so) and I asked him not to go so much. He got really angry saying I was trying to control him. In his defence it is the only time he has to go and chew the fat in his mother tongue most of the week as he doesn't have many friends from his home country. He works really hard Monday to Friday and studies Saturday mornings, so I tolerate it although I don't like the bar much and I wish he'd go a little less. Its almost exclusively men who drink there, btw, this isn't a jealousy of other women issue. I've never tried to stop him going at all, just wish he didn't have to go every weekend. Among other things it means I can rarely do stuff I want if he's there and i feel resentful for the way this bloody bar dominates my weekends even though I never go.
Anyway, on Saturday he goes shopping mid-afternoon to buy dinner and goes to the bar afterwards. He calls me at about five to say he is in the bar and "won't be late." At half eight I call to ask if he's coming home and he says yes and comes home. Gets home quite drunk and in a bad mood, obviously irritated about having had to come home, cooks then spends the rest of the evening complaining about how he doesn't get out enough. I feel moderately insulted by this: I have a small baby and while I don't mind him going out a bit it irritates me that he can go out willy nilly for hours without telling hem while I have to plan everything way in advance. He says at the end of the night that he's sorry and we can do "whatever you want" tomorrow (Sunday).
Sunday, predictably, he's too hungover to do anything except sleep on the sofa and watch movies. I remind him that he said we could do anything and he moans and says its his only full day off etc and can't we just chill. I'm super resentful about this: this is the third weekend in a row he's been unwilling to do anything with me but has prioritized going to the bar. I feel that he doesn't consider my weekends to be important at all, frequently ignores my needs because he wants to go to this bar and would rather spend his time with a bunch of old men than his wife and new baby. Whenever I raise this with him, he says I'm being controlling and I need to understand his need to hang out with people from his home country a bit.
I'm still a bit hormonal, not getting out much etc. Do you think I'm being unreasonable? I'm tempted to go and stay with my mum for a few days to teach him a lesson but I'd like to know if people think I'm over-reacting and whether I am infact being controlling.