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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being po'd that I heard about this on bloody Facebook?

72 replies

LittleMissFeckedOff · 22/05/2011 21:20

My sister had her baby this morning and I'm overjoyed for her. She's had a rotten pregnancy and I've tried to help and listen as much as I can.

She texted me last night to say she'd gone into labour and that they were on the way to the hospital. Her dh rang this morning to say that she had just had the baby and that all was well. Brilliant.

I texted a few times over the day, tried to ring but didn't expect a response because, well, because she'd just had a baby.

So why am I irrationally pissed off to sign on to Facebook this evening to find out that at 11am this fecking morning, only two hours after my niece was born, my sister had updated her Facebook status with all of the details (name, weight etc) that we, her immediate family weren't told about?

Go on, tell me it's none of my business what she does and that Facebook is the work of the devil anyway...

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 22/05/2011 21:22

Well, its probably the "modern" way now. You found out at the same time as everyone else.

MoldovanHardHatporn · 22/05/2011 21:22

Personally i think the best way is to tell it on Facebook once the initial "we're all well and healthy' contact has been made. One quick simple post with all the details and it's done. No tedious lengthy repetitious phone calls regaling the same information out ad nauseam.

YABU

strandedbear · 22/05/2011 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

theinet · 22/05/2011 21:23

Facebook is the unwitting cause of a million family rows.

Its a load of bollocks and people that live by status updates are sad.

meltedchocolate · 22/05/2011 21:23

Actually I think YABU because it seems like FB was an easy way for her to tell everyone rather than to bother texting each individual. You're not a bitch or anything for being annoyed but just think about it :)

whomovedmychocolate · 22/05/2011 21:23

From her PoV, she's knackered, got a newborn, probably lots of stitches and she has two minutes of time to herself. Does she: (a) call her family, knowing her DH is looking forward to doing that; (b) seize the opportunity to tell as many people as possible using FB.

Doesn't sound unreasonable to me. Sorry.

SamsGoldilocks · 22/05/2011 21:24

but you were told - her husband called you

Greenkit · 22/05/2011 21:24

Because she could let everyone know in one go and then could sleep, rather than speak to all the individual people.

But as she is your sister, I guess she could have texted you direct

Congratulations anyway xx

slightlyunbalanced · 22/05/2011 21:24

I would be pissed off you are her sister ffs. YANBU

onepieceofcremeegg · 22/05/2011 21:25

Her dh rang you this morning you say? And at 11am there was a fb announcement. I am Confused Did her dh ring you after 11am? If there was literally only a few moments difference then it wouldn't bother me.
Tbh if my bil had rung me, I would have automatically asked the weight and name etc, afaik it's what most people ask (or are told) when a close friend/relative rings them with baby news.

Sounds as if you are not close to your sister anyway?

WhoAteMySnickers · 22/05/2011 21:25

YANBU. It's a shit way to find out. My SIL posted full details of my birth, DS's weight, time, name, etc on FB despite STRICT instructions not to until all close family and friends had been told.

She yesterday posted a status update about DH's grandma being terminally ill, before family in the States have been told... well they know now!! Angry

AmazingBouncingFerret · 22/05/2011 21:25

YABU, surely it's her choice how she chooses to announce the birth of her baby. Now if she had posted details of your baby's birth it would be a different matter...

PumpkinSnatch · 22/05/2011 21:26

YABU to be a bit peed off that you found out at the same time as everyone else but I doubt she meant to offend. She probably just thought it would be easier to type the details out once for everyone rather than arrange her family/friends in order of importance and text the most important ones first which would cut dramatically into her newborn snuggling time. Congrats btw.

Polkadott · 22/05/2011 21:26

I would be pissed off too tbh. I wouldn't dare post by brand new baby's details on the internet without telling my close friends and family first! I wouldn't want to, and I wouldn't want to upset them.

She probably didn't think properly when she was doing it though, probably from the excitement?

Congrats on your new niece btw :)

PumpkinSnatch · 22/05/2011 21:26

I meant YANBU!

emmanana · 22/05/2011 21:28

She could have updated her fb from her mobile. She probably thought that DH had passed on all the relevant details, but to be fair to him, he was probably so excited ringing Mums, Aunties etc, he probably forgot what he told to who. She may have been asleep for a lot of today, but lovely that he rang to let you all know, as he was probaly desp to get back to DW and DD

TattyDevine · 22/05/2011 21:28

YABU

You had had the birth announcement phonecall. This was just more info, and its her news to tell however she wishes.

If someone else had come out with it on their news feed, different story but its her facebook page and her baby.

Original poster
LittleMissFeckedOff · 22/05/2011 21:29

We did hear first, but literally that they were okay and that it was a girl, no other details at all.

I get letting people know as simply as possible, but not all of the people who count are on bloody Facebook. I suppose it's vitally important that some knobber she went to school with and hasn't seen for twenty years knows the details before her close family.

I know what it's like when you've just had a baby and could understand her not contacting ANYONE, but having to update Facebook :(

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 22/05/2011 21:29

YABU

Her dp rang you so I can't see a problem

Cat98 · 22/05/2011 21:29

Sorry, I think yabu. Please don't get offended or upset about the actions of people who have just had a baby. They are probably knackered, emotionally drained and just trying to do whatever it takes to get through. They really don't need their family or friends getting offended over little things. Please don't take it personally.

ginhag · 22/05/2011 21:31

Her husband rang you? My sister had to put up with the group text we sent to announce the birth of both ds1 and ds2. And we are really close, I love her to bits.

I don't think that a fb update is much different from sending a group text is it? It's just letting everyone know really. Whether people think fb is the devil isn't really the point...

thefirstMrsDeVere · 22/05/2011 21:31

YAabitU. But I get it.

A friend of mine announced that I had my baby on FB before I had time to tell everyone. Luckily I had managed to tell my family first Hmm

Unlike her to be so insensitive so I suppose I have to agree with the poster who said it was the 'modern way' now and acceptable.

DuelingFanjo · 22/05/2011 21:32

yabu really. They told you pretty early.

Original poster
LittleMissFeckedOff · 22/05/2011 21:32

I am really close to my sister :( Her DH rang at 9am-ish, sounded completely knackered and freaked out (first baby) and said he was really sorry but had to rush, so I didn't get the other details. Two hours later she (and he!) updated their Facebook accounts.

However, a lot of you are right. It's really none of my business how they chose to inform people.

OP posts:
ginhag · 22/05/2011 21:34

Just saw your recent post... I imagine she knew that any 'people who matter' that were not on fb would get the news from those who were... That is how these things work isn't it? Also, you were on fb so she, umm, was actually telling you the details. As well as the phone call. Sorry but I think YABU.