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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For being po'd that I heard about this on bloody Facebook?

72 replies

LittleMissFeckedOff · 22/05/2011 21:20

My sister had her baby this morning and I'm overjoyed for her. She's had a rotten pregnancy and I've tried to help and listen as much as I can.

She texted me last night to say she'd gone into labour and that they were on the way to the hospital. Her dh rang this morning to say that she had just had the baby and that all was well. Brilliant.

I texted a few times over the day, tried to ring but didn't expect a response because, well, because she'd just had a baby.

So why am I irrationally pissed off to sign on to Facebook this evening to find out that at 11am this fecking morning, only two hours after my niece was born, my sister had updated her Facebook status with all of the details (name, weight etc) that we, her immediate family weren't told about?

Go on, tell me it's none of my business what she does and that Facebook is the work of the devil anyway...

OP posts:

ginhag · 22/05/2011 22:00

Please refer to my post of 21.56 curry. Thank you :)

fivegomadindorset · 22/05/2011 22:00

Christ alive Curry, what has got on your tits tonight?

PumpkinSnatch · 22/05/2011 22:02

OP why didn't you ask the DH the name/weight when he called?

makingdo1 · 22/05/2011 22:03

I think the op sums it up in her own post - irrationally pissed off. It is irrational.

CurrySpice · 22/05/2011 22:03

Oh, well 10 minutes ago you felt awful about it makingdo. Now I'm the baddie for saying it's out of order makingdo

Forgetting to tell your own father his grandchild has been born is a little bit more than one of those things "that happens" imho

If that make me a bitch who needs to put her claws away then I clearly operate on a whole different level to you

makingdo1 · 22/05/2011 22:05

I did feel awful about it, but it was okay, I made up for it by making sure he was the very first person to know with his next three grandchildren. I am not all bad

CurrySpice · 22/05/2011 22:06

OH well, that's ok then

makingdo1 · 22/05/2011 22:12

I am glad we had this talk.

piginmuck · 22/05/2011 22:12

It was for this very reason that when I had ds3, I asked all family (including dh) to not put anything on facebook until I gave them the go-ahead. I was concerned because what if, for example, we hadn't managed to get hold of dsd and she had found out about her new brother from, say, her cousin's facebook page. Also, quite a few of my close friend's are not on facebook and wanted to make sure that the people who mattered, as opposed to aquaintences and friends of friends, heard our news first.
YANBU to be hurt but your sister probably just didn't think.

ginhag · 22/05/2011 22:12

Please refer to my post of 21.56 Curry. Thank you :)

Original poster

LittleMissFeckedOff · 22/05/2011 22:13

Pumpkin, I didn't get chance, he had to ring his brother and was all teary/shaky, bless him. He literally just gabbled 'baby girl, baby girl, beautiful, both fine, ring you later' down the phone at me

I know I found out first and that the rest of it doesn't matter. I honestly wouldn't dream of mentioning it to them, really. And I don't care more about etiquette than my beautiful new niece.

I just want to know things before friends of friends of old school friends. Bloody hell, the only reason I checked Facebook was because a friend from work texted me and said 'congratulations Auntie FeckedOff on the birth of baby Chardonnay, what a good weight'!!

But still. Doesn't matter, does it?

OP posts:

makingdo1 · 22/05/2011 22:14

It really doesnt LMFO, you have a new niece to spoil and dote over! So lucky!

ginhag · 22/05/2011 22:15

If it helps, I do think 'auntie feckedoff' has a lovely ring to it :)

usualsuspect · 22/05/2011 22:16

He probably couldn't remember what he had told anyone

I bet he thought he had told you

and no it doesn't matter

makingdo1 · 22/05/2011 22:16

slight concerns with chardonnay however

GreenTeapot · 22/05/2011 22:18

Jesus wept. If this is what you lot are like about someone else, I'm bloody glad it's not you who didn't get an adequately detailed phonecall.

It never fails to amaze me how self-centred some people can be when babies are born. Who cares who finds out first? It's not all about you! This sort of thing stressed me out immensely when I had my DC and really, the last thing a new mum should be worrying about is offending anyone.

Sorry but YABU, needless to say.

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 22/05/2011 22:20

After a 50hr labour our DD was born and my DH rang all the family to let them know. We didn't name her til she was almost 2 days old and we weren't very good at letting people know when we did - hence my Dad rang to complain he'd found our her name from FB! Mortifying but OTOH we were exhausted and delirious at the time - cut her a wee bit of slack.

CurrySpice · 22/05/2011 22:21

sighs hey gingahg, you've said that twice now and no, the fact that she received the bare facts that a baby had been born first does not, imho mitigate for the fact that, as sister of the new mother, she heard the name, weight etc at the same time as 267 other random FB people

Some things are actually private / for the immediate family / friends and not for broadcast on the internet first. It's common courtesy.

And if you refer me to your 9:56 posts again I may poke my tongue out at you for being totally and utterly patronising. Sorry. I don't agree with you. Referring me back to what you've said before twice now will not change that

ginhag · 22/05/2011 22:24

Yes curry but the things YOU said were important were, I believe, the sex/name/health of the baby. Of which he missed one. And I'm sure he thought he said it!

And you have continued to blither on about how 'a sister deserves a phone call' from one of the parents etc etc...which really did imply that you didn't realise he had phoned.

And you can shove your up your arse.

CurrySpice · 22/05/2011 22:30

Like you can shove your "Thank you :)" up yours. Twice.

I read you the first time

I didn't agree with it then and the repetition didn't make it any more agreeable to me. Quite the opposure in fact

HTH :)

SockShitter · 22/05/2011 22:39

You are being unreasonable. You knew the baby was born, dont see the big deal sorry I don't mean this in a nast way.. but it's not about you

Original poster

LittleMissFeckedOff · 22/05/2011 22:51

:) I know it's not about me. It's just a little thing that irritated me, maybe it's because I'm a little fed up with Facebook at the moment. Should probably close my account.

Never mind. Got a new baby to smell (is it just me or is that the best bit?), can't wait!

OP posts:

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