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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people get so inflamed over breastfeeding on here?

183 replies

DaisyLovesMetronidazole · 22/05/2011 18:22

I'm not bashing Mumsnet in general - I think it's a great site.

I fully understand the benefits of BF. I breastfed all of mine for 18 months. It was great.

Some of my friends did it for longer, others not as long, others not at all.

On here, as soon as someone says something less than 'Mumsnet Mainstream' about it, they seem to get jumped on a lot more heavily than anyone flaunting even very controversial opinions on other matters. In the other thread, I'm guessing almost 50% of replies involved telling the OP to fuck off.

Is anyone else confused at all, or am I completely alone?

OP posts:
JeremyKylesPetProject · 22/05/2011 19:04

I didn't bf any of my children. I didn't want to. I will defend a mothers right to feed her child how she sees fit. I can't abide so called militants from either camp. I don't defend my choice nor do I promote it.

RitaMorgan · 22/05/2011 19:06

Lots of people give their 3, 4, 5 year olds cow's milk because they believe it is good for them and enhances their wellbeing - are they all wrong as well?

lachlanbella · 22/05/2011 19:06

Tired old breastfeeding myth no1 - Extended breastfeeders are 'getting something out' of breastfeeding their child, and it's more about the mother than it is the child. I have heard this said with an implication that the mother is getting some sort of sexual kick out of breastfeeding - I KNOW that is NOT what has been said here, but I have heard it, and it's offensive and horrible.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 22/05/2011 19:07

Ah, I see she's worried about cancer. Every day she feeds cuts her risk of breast cancer. It's harder to measure the benefit for children, but BF does lower the child's chances of eg obesity which is an increased risk factor for cancer.

crashingwaves · 22/05/2011 19:07

EvenLess ... if they fall and hurt themselves yes I think it would be (personally) - I think at that age a cuddle and a there there and a chat about how painful it must have been and how brave they are ;) is more appropriate than breastfeeding. Just personally :) Anyway I will stop there, as I don't want an argument but yes from my perspective I think breastfeeding children over the age of two is a bit odd, I'm sorry x

StealthPolarBear · 22/05/2011 19:09

Not taken the wrong way at all :) I'll be back to answer, off to do bedtime (thankfully only feeding the smaller one now :o)

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 22/05/2011 19:11

Some people react negatively to BF full stop, even with a newborn. The physical element makes them uncomfortable. The same people would never consider stopping their child from drinking milk because they were over 12 months old and usually wouldn't have a problem with the BF of older children if the mother expressed and gave the BM in a cup.

usualsuspect · 22/05/2011 19:12

The breastfeeding threads bore me

which is why I have that topic hidden

but they crop up at least once a week in AIBU

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/05/2011 19:12

Oh not this old bollocks AGAIN

Just read some of the fifty billion other threads on this subject.

exoticfruits · 22/05/2011 19:13

Best not to comment on anyone else's choices. You always upset someone!

Original poster
DaisyLovesMetronidazole · 22/05/2011 19:15

shineon, I have read the other threads. That's why I'm asking.

I see that people get inflamed. I don't see why they do.

OP posts:
RobynLou · 22/05/2011 19:16

I get annoyed sometimes because I have a strong suspicion that if men bf it'd be done everywhere and anywhere and no one would bat an eyelid.

disliking bfing often goes hand in hand with misogyny imo.

Zimm · 22/05/2011 19:18

Crshingwaves - it is you use of of 'x''s on mumsnet that is going to get you flamed not your questions to stealth....

Sistermoondance · 22/05/2011 19:21

I was going to stop bf as soon as I started weaning, just before 6 months as dd bit me hard a few times, but now she has stopped biting. She is now on two meals a day, and usually a bit of formula, but mostly still breastfeeds ( now 6 1/2 months.

I do it partly for me- saves me the hassle of making up formula and sterilising bottles. Can't be bothered if I don't have to. And for her- lots of allergies in our family so I am keen to help her out as much as possible!

Original poster
DaisyLovesMetronidazole · 22/05/2011 19:21

Robyn, do you have any evidence for that?

I'm not being confrontational. I'm genuinely interested.

OP posts:
Portofino · 22/05/2011 19:22

I am a bit mystified about this too. My dsis and bf both bf all their children. I planned to, but despite many efforts, it didn't work out. I too am glad that I wasn;t on MN in those days, as I felt bad enough about it as it was - early on. Later, with an obviously thriving baby I couldn't give a stuff.

ginhag · 22/05/2011 19:23

My 3 month old sleeps in a basic white babygro every night!!!!

WRT the OP, YANBU, YABU, IDGAFIYABUON (nothing personal, just am another that really couldn't give a shit. Horses, courses, etc)

thesurgeonsmate · 22/05/2011 19:24

Here is why I am "passionate" about breastfeeding. For the usual reasons, it's something I wanted to do. At the start we had a bit of an issue, I'm still not terribly sure exactly what it was. It was Very Hard to deal with, but I hardly noticed that because of the fantastic support I had from HP and family. Once issue resolved I was really happy, especially with the practical benefits I get from breastfeeding. The "passion" comes from realising now that not everyone gets the same level of support, it exercises me greatly to read some of the stories about piss poor professional advice or crazy "its all about me" relatives. That said, it's an undirected passion, I don't often participate in BF discussion. But it seems quite normal to me to be unbelievably grateful for a level of support that I perhaps didn't appreciate at the time was really quite special.

RobynLou · 22/05/2011 19:26

evidence? nope, its just the idea that women should be 'modest' if they're going to feed seems to me to have links with the idea that nice women don't show off their bodies, as though those bodies are shameful/icky. If women are unashamed of their bodies and what they do they are often disapproved of, whether they're wearing a short skirt and heels or bfing whilst showing more boob than the viewer deems necessary.

Portofino · 22/05/2011 19:27

I wish people who get so worked up about ff would direct their energies to campaigning for more help for new mothers. I got zilch support from the hospital or the HV. Baby was happy, I had been poked, prodded and monitored for 6 weeks already. I had had enough and wanted my body back.

hairfullofsnakes · 22/05/2011 19:31

I get asked all the time why am I still feeding my 20 month old and how long will I continue to do so...

I feed her because

  • the benefits of breast milk to her well being are brilliant - the goodness she gets from breast milk will stay with her for life and help her a lot now at such a young age
  • she wants to bf - it is not at all about me wanting her to although I do like the fact she is getting the benefits of breastmilk

It constantly amazes me how the benefits of bf are dismissed and a lot of people I have come across have no idea of the benefits of bf beyond six months. I have even had people tell me I should stop now as it will harm her! Hmm

I am happy for my Dd to bf until she wants to stop (within reason) but I would try to encourage her to stop by, say, 3 if she doesn't before that as I bf my ds until he was two and straight onto my Dd and would quite like to have my boobs back!

MillyR · 22/05/2011 19:31

I don't think anybody has really mentioned FF, Portofino.

LittleMissFlustered · 22/05/2011 19:31

I don't get the passion and emotive bollocks either. You do, you don't, you have issues (me) or you don't give a fig. Fine. Sermonising? That pisses me off.

LeninGrad · 22/05/2011 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babyhammock · 22/05/2011 19:39

DS still has my breast milk and he's nearly 3 (I've exclusively expressed all of it since he was 6 weeks as i was crap at doing it properly).

I do it cos he loves it more than chocolate and because its soooo good for him. Trust me the benefits for me (other than never worrying about him being ill) are zero lol.

It wold never occur to me that a breastfeeding mum was doing it more for herself ever...