I know people are going to read the title and be angry, but please hear me out as to be honest, I'm at my wit's end here. I have had to change my usual nickname because of some finer details, so I apologise for that.
I have two daughters with less than two years between them as DD2 was premature. To be honest, it was touch and go for a while. I applied for part time hours in my teaching job but was turned down and, given that we'd nearly lost our baby, were keen to have some stability for both girls with me at home full time "and anyway, I can always go back to teaching" said I so brightly at the time. That's proved impossible since I don't have recent experience, and I can't do day to day supply because of childcare issues and I don't drive. We don't have very much money, therefore.
This is relevant to the cats situation because we also have two cats who we got because we are honestly loving people who wanted to give a loving and caring home to animals. Unfortunately, since the girls arrived, Cat1 has made it clear he is terrified of them. He just about tolerated DD1 but now that a pre schooler and a toddler are crashing around, he spends the majority of his time bolting for the cat flap. The girls don't torment him but (when they were babies/young toddlers) they would often shriek in joy when they saw him and I think he associates them with noise (understandably.) I love Cat1 very much, he is a loving and gentle cat with adults but it petrified of children. I have tried a diffuser for stress from the vet's but it hasn't made a difference. We live in a three storey house and he has numerous 'quiet' places such as the airing cupboard, our bedroom - to go to, but he just spends his days outside and when he is in, he creeps around looking so scared.
Cat2 is a far bigger problem. The worst thing about him is that he does his business repeatedly in the house and at the moment, has targeted the girls' bedroom as his litter tray. Like cat1 he has a litter tray and the cat flap is available but he doesn't seem to want to use it. The carpets upstairs are ruined because of this cat and the worse one is the girls' carpet. I've had them professionally cleaned but the smell was ingrained and he just promptly started to use it again. I'm so paranoid that the girls clothes and hair smells. My house smells, I notice as soon as we walk in a lingering scent of cat wee and poo, and it makes me feel dirty and so, so worried that the girls will get ill. My youngest has trodden in it before now. As well as this horrible habit, he also jumps up onto the table and takes food from our plates so if (for example) I take a glass or plate through to the kitchen, I can come back to see him tucking in. That's a minor consideration and can generally be avoided by putting him out but it does make meal times a bit more stressful.
I really would welcome advice, but to be frank we don't have the money for expensive behavioural therapies, we're barely making ends meet as it is and I have to sell things on ebay every week just to keep us afloat. Please don't tell me what a selfish, irresponsible person I am, as I'm honestly not like that at all. I've been putting up with this for years because I can't bear the thought of rehoming them but faced with a £700 bill for a replacement carpet I'm afraid I'm reaching my limit. Please, help us.