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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to push someone else's child over....

82 replies

Mummaroo · 20/05/2011 12:56

Whilst having a mosey around a supermarket with my DS [20months] in his trike, chatting about what we could see and what we should buy I notice a boy of about 3 at most 4 but not in school uniform and it would have been the right time for school children looking at DS and following us around. No idea where his parents were as I was mulling over something for a while in this aisle and saw no sign of them. He then went up to DS and pushed his head and chest out [like men do when they're being aggressive and asking for a fight] then he flicked his hand up very quickly, not sure if it was the right finger but the intention was definitely there, I then asked him what he was doing and he ran round the corner, but still kept looking back round at DS. I was so cross I didn't know what to do, thought I should find his parents and tell them... but when I went and saw his Dad, I realised that he was a traveller and therefore may not necessarily be bothered by this behaviour, as it is often their culture for children to copy adult behaviours plus I did not want to go and approach him when I was on my own. My DS bless him, just looked at this older boy quite innocently and then a bit confused as he was acting so strangely towards him, it was me who felt like steam was coming out of my ears I was that bloody angry!!!

OP posts:
TheVisitor · 20/05/2011 12:58

How did you know he was a traveller? Did he tell you? Do you know a lot about traveller culture then?

kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/05/2011 12:59

Maybe the traveller boy was cross because your DS didn't cross his palm with silver or buy some pegs off his mum.
Don't be ridiculous.

ZZZenAgain · 20/05/2011 13:00

he approached your child, thrust his chest out and raised his hand quickly, or perhaps one finger of his hand

I don't really see the problem tbh but obviously you found it aggressive. You told him off and he ran off and was just looking so I think you dealt with it, right? I don't know what you could have said to the parent really. Maybe I missed the issue.

You can't help how you feel in a situation, it is an immediate emotional response to be angry when you don't like how your dc is treated - but not good to dwell on it too much

tomhardyismydh · 20/05/2011 13:01

sounds like you have anger isoooos OP.

and you know he was a traveler, how? by the big fat "im a pikey" tattood on his forehead.

ZZZenAgain · 20/05/2011 13:01

"he flicked his hand up very quickly, not sure if it was the right finger but the intention was definitely there"

I didn't understand this. Did you think he was going to hit your son?

GypsyMoth · 20/05/2011 13:02

you want to push a little boy over??

seriously?

Bucharest · 20/05/2011 13:03

Well, as you clearly have magic powers yourself (what with knowing what this child's intentions were and all...) have you thought of setting up a booth on the seafront yourself?

What exactly did this child do apart from (perhaps) give you the finger (except you didn't see, so you don't know)???

And what the feckity was your child doing in a bloody trike in the middle of the supermarket?

You sound delightful. Have a Biscuit

ZZZenAgain · 20/05/2011 13:03

or is it that you thought he was going to raise the third finger?

FunnysInTheGarden · 20/05/2011 13:05

as you DS grows up you will have to get used to dealing with behaviour like this from other children. I usually deal with it by telling off the child in question. I would never bother speaking to the parents unless it had really esculated.

cat64 · 20/05/2011 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 20/05/2011 13:06

I realised that he was a traveller and therefore may not necessarily be bothered by this behaviour, as it is often their culture for children to copy adult behaviours

What the actual JEFF?!

I didn't know there was a university offering a degree in Travellerology. Or was it the chosen subject of your PhD?

ObiWan · 20/05/2011 13:07

as it is often their culture for children to copy adult behaviours

I thought this was pretty much universal actually.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2011 13:07

I too was wondering what your DS was doing on a trike in a supermarket, OP. Confused

Bucharest · 20/05/2011 13:08

Quite....(children copying adults) So God help us when the OP's child is older.

ZZZenAgain · 20/05/2011 13:08

big supermarket I suppose

Rosemallow · 20/05/2011 13:09

You want to push a child over?!

Regardless of what the child did that is VVU
And as for him being a traveller Hmm I don't see the relevance.

manicbmc · 20/05/2011 13:10

Children do that - copy adults. I was also wondering why your ds was on a trike in the supermarket? It may make it easier for you but it's a pain in the arse for other shoppers having to negotiate kids on trikes/scooters in shops.

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 20/05/2011 13:11

I make my early prediction of this thread going on for 634 posts and lots of posters up in arms re the traveller comments.

crock of shit anyway but that wont stop anyone

Grin
GypsyMoth · 20/05/2011 13:12

i also predict op wont come back to the thread!!

Mummaroo · 20/05/2011 13:13

No I didn't really want to push him over I was just very protective of my son and shocked that a child would act so aggressively, there are lots of travellers in our town and I went to school with some of them and in my experience have found that they can be confrontational and intimidating, not all of them, but I was on my own with my son, just found out I'm pg again, so maybe slightly over emotional and didn't want to approach someone I didn't know. I was trying to think about their culture and justify his actions, however if you all feel that it's appropriate for a 3yo to act aggressively, then I am sorry. I just needed to release it and hoped here would be a good place for that.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 20/05/2011 13:13

"I was so cross I didn't know what to do" cross about what? Because a three year old attempted to make a possibly obscene gesture that he probably didn't understand to your toddler who defintely didn't understand. Confused

Don't you think it a bit odd that your reaction was so extreme?

My (then) speech delayed 2.5 yr old very loudly and clearly "Bugger. Bloody traffic"

No travellor genes as far as I am aware.

Hullygully · 20/05/2011 13:13

gypsies tramps and thieves

Kewcumber · 20/05/2011 13:15

"shocked that a child would act so aggressively" - have you ever been to a playgroup Confused its like lord of the flies!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 20/05/2011 13:16

I assume trike is one of those smart trike things that people use instead of a pushchair.

Kewcumber · 20/05/2011 13:17

We have all felt protective of our childrne from time to time but I'm amazed you were bothered enough to try to speak to his parents. He may have looked aggressive but he didn't actually do anything.

Do you find your life is generally this stressful?

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