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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to push someone else's child over....

82 replies

Mummaroo · 20/05/2011 12:56

Whilst having a mosey around a supermarket with my DS [20months] in his trike, chatting about what we could see and what we should buy I notice a boy of about 3 at most 4 but not in school uniform and it would have been the right time for school children looking at DS and following us around. No idea where his parents were as I was mulling over something for a while in this aisle and saw no sign of them. He then went up to DS and pushed his head and chest out [like men do when they're being aggressive and asking for a fight] then he flicked his hand up very quickly, not sure if it was the right finger but the intention was definitely there, I then asked him what he was doing and he ran round the corner, but still kept looking back round at DS. I was so cross I didn't know what to do, thought I should find his parents and tell them... but when I went and saw his Dad, I realised that he was a traveller and therefore may not necessarily be bothered by this behaviour, as it is often their culture for children to copy adult behaviours plus I did not want to go and approach him when I was on my own. My DS bless him, just looked at this older boy quite innocently and then a bit confused as he was acting so strangely towards him, it was me who felt like steam was coming out of my ears I was that bloody angry!!!

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/05/2011 13:18

Maybe he was offering your son a discount for some tarmacing. That would enable his trike to go smoothly rather than be all wibbly wobbly on some potential hazards that you hadn't even spotted.
He could have been doing you a favour.

Bucharest · 20/05/2011 13:19

Memo to OP: this is a website where possibly, on a day to day basis,I'd say 40% of its users are pregnant, or PMTish, or just had a baby, or TTC, or menopausal or......

Not an excuse for your OTT aggressive behaviour.

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 20/05/2011 13:19

So... He may or may not have made a gesture... And then ran away when you spoke to him?

Wow, best lock him up now, what a terror!

ZZZenAgain · 20/05/2011 13:19

tough as it is to do I am afraid part of being a parent is having to learn to stand up for your dc when they are too small to do it themselves. In this situation, I think you handled it ok anyway with the dc, he was still running around looking at your son but no longer daring to approach him as I understood it.

In a more drastic situation there is no way around speaking up for your dc if something bad happens. I wasn't there so I don't know how bad this particular experience felt but for instance in if you were scared to approach the parent and worried about the dc/annoyed with the dc and unable to stop his behaviour , you could perhaps have approached a member of staff.

FunnysInTheGarden · 20/05/2011 13:25

OP I think it is entirely understandable that you were upset, it's horrid having some little scrote acting like that to your DS, BUT you will come across this kind of thing a lot and will have to deal with it.

BTW gypsy comments, while funny, were bound to undermine your argument.

Bellagio · 20/05/2011 13:25

Kreecherlivesupstairs
Offering a discount on tarmac !
Grin

BeerTricksPotter · 20/05/2011 13:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 20/05/2011 13:42

No, no, no OP. you made a classic mistake. You voiced something that maybe should have ben kept in your head.

On MN you are not allowed to say anything derogatory about any group of people. Unless they are Bodenites. Then you can.

Grin
mummypud · 20/05/2011 13:52

grrrrr. dont travellers already get a rum do?... they are actually lovely folk ! ( well most of them ) and actualy i see and hear worse from most of the folk round here ( non travller) the idea that travellers promote such behaviour is actually a tad discriminating !

FunnysInTheGarden · 20/05/2011 13:56

Oh come on, Traveller comments have always been funny, right from when Viz was made to withdraw their 'Thieving Gypsy Bastards' strip and replace it with 'Lovely Kind Gypsy Folk' strip

TheVisitor · 20/05/2011 14:00

Anti traveller comments are actually discriminatory and generally not nice. The fact that the child may have been of the travelling fraternity is neither here no there. Travellers aren't always Gypsies either. Romany Gypsies are a very proud race.

Tell you what, change the word 'traveller' for 'black' or 'asian' then see what happens. It IS the same.

ComeWhineWithMe · 20/05/2011 14:00

I'm sorry but PMSL at Kreecher.

PaisleyLeaf · 20/05/2011 14:05

Would you expect a 3 year old to be in school uniform then?

I think the older children can seem quite a bit older when yours is littler. But when your lad gets to 3, you'll see that they're still little and still learning behaviours. It might be as simple as he wanted a go on that trike.

stickytoffeepud · 20/05/2011 14:05

still dont get what the kid did

stuck his middle finger up? - whoopee do, shrug and move on

slapped your kids upside his head? - whack him back

Mummaroo · 20/05/2011 14:06

I didn't mean to be discriminative towards travellers, I apologise on all counts that people have taken my comments the wrong way, I shouldn't have put that, I was just shocked and upset by the behaviour as I would be mortified if my child acted so adultly. I know that children copy adults, but there are behaviours that we don't do in front of children surely? I just know that their culture hides little from the children and although I do not wish to give them a 'rum deal' was simply trying to understand the child a bit more.

shineoncrazydiam0nd thank you, I have learnt my lesson as a relative newbie to MN and newly pregnant for the 2nd time and therefore completely over emotional I will wipe my tears and ensure that I never say anything that can be slightly misconstrued on here again.

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/05/2011 14:07

I do feel I am able to talk authorititively about traveller families. I did some district nursing and had some dealings with them.
On the whole they were very nice people. They really do care for their family.

BeerTricksPotter · 20/05/2011 14:27

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeeBee · 20/05/2011 14:28

So, in essence, some child acted mildly aggressively in front of your child? He'll get over it.

I'm afraid you're going to need to toughen up to incidences like these. Wait until you have your second child and your son is the one doing the big 'I am'. Grin Teaching your child to be confident and kind will be the most helpful of strategies.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

Morloth · 20/05/2011 14:35

Does anyone have any nice cheese? It's just that I have hauled my expansive arse back onto the low carbon wagon so popcorn is out...

OP an annoying kid was annoying, they do that, your kid will pies someone off someday I guarantee it.

Morloth · 20/05/2011 14:36

Low carb and 'piss' not pies.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/05/2011 14:38

I'd like a pie. Either a cheese and onion or steak and mushroom.

prettyfly1 · 20/05/2011 14:39

OP is this your first born? Trust me when your child starts nursery he will be exposed to FAR WORSE and you need to get a bit more realistic - this is just a bit of a daft post to get yourself so wound up over. YABU.

ZZZenAgain · 20/05/2011 14:39

I want the heavy carbs. Thanks to my toothache and dental iniquities of the past two weeks, too unspeakable to recall, I have not been eating nearly enough junk

MrsDrOwenHunt · 20/05/2011 14:56

i have bloody tooth pain too, should have asked the traveller for a reading to see if your dc would grow up to discriminate?!!

Fleurdebleurgh · 20/05/2011 15:07

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