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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want people packing my bags at the supermarket checkout to raise funds for their kid's football/ice hockey/ highland dance trip to Croatia?

268 replies

bleedingstill · 20/05/2011 00:34

My kids have hobbies. I pay for them.
Bag packing at supermarkets is a bit annoying, no?
On several counts.

I feel better now

OP posts:
Original poster
bleedingstill · 21/05/2011 00:37

Interesting contributions.

many of you attacked me (OP ) . You may care to reread what I actually said .
Did you miss the bit where I said I ALWAYS give them money?

And the bit where the worst I called it was " a bit annoying" ?

That makes me Miserly? Mean spirited old cowbag? Miserable?

Please take the time to read what people say before raining insults upon them. Watch out attitudes like yours don't come across as you fluff up the bags at the checkout for your kid's sporting trip abroad.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 21/05/2011 00:41

Never heard of this. The supermarket staff do it here.

ShellyBoobs · 21/05/2011 00:54

YANBU

I hate getting to the checkout and finding there are charity bag-packers on duty, unless it's for a proper charity. By proper charity I mean NOT collecting for someones fun trip to the other side of the world.

To those saying things like 'miserly, mean spirited, etc'. What gives you the right to judge others for not wanting to share in the cost of other people's DCs sports trips etc.

Original poster
bleedingstill · 21/05/2011 00:58

I also ALWAYS put money in collecting cans for proper charities.

OP posts:
EcoLady · 21/05/2011 02:49

This thread has been a very interesting read, as my fellow Guide & Brownie Leaders are considering doing bag packing to help raise funds for next year's trip to Norfolk. Our local supermarket does not regularly host these, so we wouldn't be one of countless many who accost shoppers every week.

Some attitudes here are certainly food for thought.

We'd be enabling our girls to take part in an adventure weekend that we know many could not otherwise afford. Normal Pack Holiday is ~£40, for which we get 1/2 attending. We're looking at one with climbing, abseiling, canoeing, raft building, etc that would cost £70-80... so we need to fundraise so that everyone can afford to go.

And just to add an answer to the suggestions that Scout/Guide fundraising could be spent on other charities .... in the past 2 years my Brownies have done small fundraisers for Guide Dogs, WaterAid, a childhood Leukaemia charity, the tsunami in Japan, the village memorial garden and the local maternity unit. Doing something for the 'community' is core to the Brownie programme, so we do something different each term.

MaryBS · 21/05/2011 04:26

"What gives you the right to judge others". This IS still Mumsnet isn't it? :o

GotArt · 21/05/2011 04:38

The grocery stores all pack here too. Its usually done well. I don't mind buying a hot dog for group's fundraisers or popping in to a car wash for students raising money, (the students wash the car and everytime have done a fab job) but one that has burned my ass a little is at the Bottle Depot down the street where the highschool has a jar on the counter where you can pop your returns money in it for their formal... I just dragged all these deposits down here in my stroller and all you got is a jar on the counter for my change... you can't even be here to put some hours in.... forget it. Pay for your own formal party entertainment.

GoFullForce · 21/05/2011 07:08

people who are suggesting that they raise it properly, are Hmm.

Do you actually know how long it takes to get a slot in a supermarket, to get liability insurance, to organise uniforms, and buckets (all criteria needed) and also find enough volunteers to help, as well as spending 8 hours packing peoples shopping, all of which will benefit the charity.

Im doing it soon for my sons charity, its took alot of hard work, Id rather be doing this, than sponsor people for walking round a park in the name of charity, which takes no effort at all.

Animation · 21/05/2011 07:17

Seeker - hey, don't put me down - that's my viewpoint! Yes, I put money in the bucket - to avoid awkwardness with the child, but I think you adults could at least admit it's a bit cheeky.

exoticfruits · 21/05/2011 07:31

If you are going to do it Ecolady-could you teach them how to pack bags before you start?

Meatspin · 21/05/2011 07:36

What a bunch of mean spirited bastards you are.

exoticfruits · 21/05/2011 07:57

I always let them do it Meatspin-just have to keen an eye on how they are actually packing it.

manicinsomniac · 21/05/2011 08:05

I don't like having my bags packed but I think it's great that children are taught that smetimes it's necessary ot work to pay for the htings you want and that they can't just ask their parents. So, despite the inconvenience, I think it's a great thing.

If they're children I'll let them help me pack and pay them. If they're teens I'll pack myself and pay them anyway (the children look so disappointed when people say no!)

I don't know what all the vitriol about private school kids not doing bag packing is all about?
Last year our private school did bag packing to raise money for a local homeless shelter and soup kitchen - yes, they're more advantaged kids, does that mean they shouldn't experience raising money for others but instead should just ask mummy to write them a cheque?

Somebody said about not wanting to pay for the private school's trip to the caribbean - ours actually did do a trip to the caribbean (cricket tour) and did a massive amount of fundraising. Not to pay for the majority of kids to go but to buy entire sets of new cricket equipment to donate to the very poor Barbadian teams they were playing and to cover the cost for two children who are on full bursaries but really promising players and would have been devestated and isolated being left behind (the team weren't made aware of this, it would have embarrased the boys concerned).
Is that really so inappropriate?

Just because kids are in private school doesn't render them incapable of helping others or mean that they are filthy rich.

tallulahxhunny · 21/05/2011 08:09

I hate when bag-packers are there too, i have my own system for packing stuff according to where it is going kitchen bathroom etc then cupboards fridge im probably a bit OCD about it but in asda by the time i have finished unpacking my trolley they will have already grabbed my shopping and started packing it Angry thing is i always pay by card i NEVER carry money no matter how little with me so i get really embarrassed cos now they have packed and i have no money and angry cos my shopping is all mixed up! :(

seeker · 21/05/2011 08:14

I ddidn't realize how many members oif the royal family are mumsnetters!

I can;t stress this enough, if you don;t want your bags packed then say "No thank you, I don't want my bags packed"

But don;t then complain when you local Scout troop or guide company either has to cancel its activities or put the subs up so that only well off families can afford to let their children go.

seeker · 21/05/2011 08:18

Cheeky?

Oh, like those people who sell poppies, you mean? They stand at the entrance to supermarkets guilt tripping people with their medals and looking all old and veteran-like. How very dare they?

Pancakeflipper · 21/05/2011 08:20

I never knew bag packing was so controversial.

If you hate bag packers could I suggest Internet supermaket shopping? Though I think our Sainsburys is using slave labour and has kidnapped the local Brownie troop cos the packing is appalling.

Pancakeflipper · 21/05/2011 08:24

Anyway it's good for kids from private schools to do bag packing. They get to visit and view the common people at work and see real life to a few hours on a Saturday afternoon. Though they probably think all common people are very scowly as they huff and puff at watching their shopping being packed.

lesley33 · 21/05/2011 08:30

I really don't mind this if it is for a charity or for a youth group like scouts. But what I do object to is being asked to pay towards expensive holidays that most people couldn't afford. In the last few months the local bag packers in my M&S included:

  1. Some teenagers raising money for a cycling holiday to China on behalf of a cancer charity.
  2. Children from a local school about 11/12 years old raising money for a safari trip to Kenya - because not all of the parents can afford the cost.

This is very different IMO from being asked to contribute towards a camping holiday for scouts for example.

And it is not easy to just say no thanks IMO. I did to the teenage girl. But with the safari holiday it was a very sweet looking boy whose expression was so hopeful that I didn't want to crush him by saying no and giving nothing.

And it is a small M&S - often only have 2 or 3 tills open, so all the tills have bag packers. And yes I do live in a posh area.

CoffeeDodger · 21/05/2011 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

going · 21/05/2011 08:36

I have only seen this beig done in my local Waitrose. I would give some money if the people where collecting for charity but the people collecting are 6th formers going on a 'holiday of a lifetime'. There is no way I'm funding that!

kiesmommy · 21/05/2011 08:49

Instead of offering to pack your bags and giving you a choice, they could always put in for some kind of grant to pay for their trip, then every tax payer would have no choice but to pay up? My young brother did this a few weeks ago, his football team were going to Jersey to rep UK in a football thing. It was £300 per child, luckily for him our family could afford it but there was one little lad whos family couldnt. They raised half the money by selling things on ebay or bootsales. Instead of just leaving him behind the club organised one of these bag packing things an the club spent all day 9 - 7 packing peoples bags to raise money for their friend to come, i popped in to bring my brother some sandwiches an heard first hand how rude some of the adults were to the children.
I think its a nice idea, just say no if you dont want them to help.

Longtalljosie · 21/05/2011 08:54

I tend to go for the "oh no, you're fine - but let me give you some money anyway" option when it's for charity.

But I was a bit Shock at the local school bag packing for a trip to somewhere exotic - Nepal or something. I mean, I wouldn't mind doing that sort of thing myself, but it's hardly the church roof, is it?

Animation · 21/05/2011 08:57

"And it is not easy to just say no thanks IMO. I did to the teenage girl. But with the safari holiday it was a very sweet looking boy whose expression was so hopeful that I didn't want to crush him by saying no and giving nothing."

I agree. It doesn't feel right to say 'no' to them.

Pancakeflipper · 21/05/2011 09:17

It is that easy to say 'no thank you'. You just smile and say "no thank you."

Be mean and be proud if you don't want to give them a few pennies.