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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want people packing my bags at the supermarket checkout to raise funds for their kid's football/ice hockey/ highland dance trip to Croatia?

268 replies

bleedingstill · 20/05/2011 00:34

My kids have hobbies. I pay for them.
Bag packing at supermarkets is a bit annoying, no?
On several counts.

I feel better now

OP posts:
greenrock · 20/05/2011 07:37

beesimo if my car was worth thousands I'd have no problem dishing out some cash to the bag packers Grin

IDontDoIroning · 20/05/2011 07:39

I have back packed for 2 of my childrens activities. Whilst I pay the bulk of these costs through subs etc some activities, trips, equipment etc are still impossible to achieve without sone external fundraising.
I tell my children to ask politely.
I always do most/all of it myself supervise closely, pack very carefully and I make sure they say thank you for any contributions.
Obviously if anyone says no thank you that's fine too.
If you don't want to contribute just say no thanks.

CucumberMuncher · 20/05/2011 07:42

I normally pack the bag myself because I have a complicated system of putting things in rucksacks, nappy bags and under the pushchair so I can get it all home.

I still throw some change in their bucket though. I'm not going to miss a pound every now and then so why not?

CucumberMuncher · 20/05/2011 07:42

by nappy bags I don't mean the little blue poo bags btw. I mean my pram bag Grin

JoanofArgos · 20/05/2011 07:44

My daughter did this to raise money to go to Kenya - no-one has to let them do it, no-one has to donate, most people unless they're mean-spirited miserable old cowbags just chat to them about what it is they're doing, give em 50p and get the fuck over it!

ilovesprouts · 20/05/2011 07:45

dont be mean the kids [older ones at ds2 sn school] do that every so often

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 20/05/2011 07:49

DH (when he was able to go shopping - I do it all ATM as he's got a back injury) wouldn't even let me do the packing! Because I don't do it right :o it was quite nice, I just sat down while he did it and anally made sure everything was in lovely categorised bags.

I am torn on this though - I've actually never experienced it so I can't say how annoying it is, but isn't it good (for the DCs) - they do a bit of 'work' and are earning a bit of money for the activity. My DSDs have done it with Brownies, and it showed them that work pays.

Ambi · 20/05/2011 07:51

Easily resolved - Shop at Aldi.

Sainsbo's were always doing this, v annoying

JemimaMop · 20/05/2011 07:55

YABU.

You can easily just say no thank you, I usually do as I have my own system of packing. I usually pop 50p or £1 in their bucket if it is something that I would support.

I have bag packed a few times for my DC's school as part of the PTA. It wasn't to fund expensive hobbies or trips, it was to buy essential equipment for the school which they couldn't afford due to budget cuts. Most of the people who bag pack in our supermarket are doing it for similar things, recently there has been a youth football team in a Communities First (ie deprived) area raising money for kits and equipment, a playgroup trying to raise money for new premises as they have had to move from the local school as they needed the room and people raising money for a CCTV system along the cycle path into town which has become a bit of a crime hot spot. All of which I was happy to give my loose change to (but would still rather they didn't pack my bags!)

Sirzy · 20/05/2011 07:55

The "i pay for my kids hobbies" is great if you are a parent who can afford to pay for the extras involved, for the parents who can't afford that then fundraising efforts - including bag packing - are a godsend.

Also for a lot of youth groups the £1 a week subs doesn't cover all the costs of the activities done.

BulletWithAName · 20/05/2011 08:01

I have never seen anybody doing this at the supermarkets where I live! YANBU, I don't have any spare money really, but if I did I would give to charity like the Salvation Army or the NSPCC or something.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 20/05/2011 08:07

Yep, I do as Elmo does, I pay them NOT to pack!

I don't mind giving them a bit of loose change but I do NOT want them packing my shopping. Especially when I am buying tena lady and maternity pads Blush

MardyBra · 20/05/2011 08:08

We recently had a bunch of very fit squaddies collecting for Help For Heroes. Very good eye candy! Can't complain.

GoodDaysBadDays · 20/05/2011 08:15

Yabu.

I may be in the minority here but can't you just say no thanks? There's no obligation and many people are pleased with the help and enjoy chatting with the young person.

Don't always assume this is done to pay for the hobby, i have never heard of it being done for that reason in this area.

Ds has done this several times with army cadets. They raise money for local charities.

I've seen some older teens raising money for trips abroad but these are volunteering trips where their costs have to be raised entirely by fundraising, often around 3k.

webwiz · 20/05/2011 08:22

One of the local schools was doing this on Christmas Eve to raise money for a rugby tour of Australia and New Zealand - so much for thinking of those less fortunate at Christmas. Why exactly should I be expected to contribute? DD2 has done bag packing a few times but as part of her schools charity week not to get strangers to pay for a very expensive school trip.

DuelingFanjo · 20/05/2011 08:23

it is annoying. mostly because they have no idea how to pack a bag. I don't want all my heavy items in one bag and all my vegetables in another! Nor do I want to give money to military after school clubs.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/05/2011 08:25

Duelling I think I remember from past posts that you aren't a million miles from Cardiff. If so don't ever go to ASDA Pentwyn. I have stopped shopping ther because
A. It's hideous.
B. I am a snob Grin
C. They have these bag packers there virtually every time I go there!

aldiwhore · 20/05/2011 08:26

I've no issue with it though NOBODY touches my bags if they value their life.

Most of the clubs are only affordable to all because of fundraising, YANBU to not wish to give, but without fundraising many of these clubs would be for only the wealthy, which defeats the object. You keep costs down and therefore affordable by fundraising.

YOu are perfectly within your right not to give anything. I don't give to everything, can't afford it, we're pretty skint right now as well so I'm saying 'no thanks' more often than 'yes' to many charities and organisations.

DuelingFanjo · 20/05/2011 08:33

Grin at hobnobs.

paisleyII · 20/05/2011 08:34

i've never seen a bag packer.......and i shop at sainsburys, waitrose & mns.........

GentleOtter · 20/05/2011 08:37

There was a tiny, very old lady in front of me in the supermarket and she was packing her bags except with my shopping.
I asked the person on the till to slow down until the lady had finished collecting her things but was horrified to see her pack away my fondant fancies and bread.

I was not going to say anything and she was looking at me fixedly while stuffing my shopping into a stack of bags which hid the collection bucket. Blush

I thought she was pinching all my shopping.

woopsidaisy · 20/05/2011 08:41

I have to say when ever I come across bag packers,they always ask if you would like your bag packed. I have seen many people refuse,it is no big deal.
I am of the group that pay them not to pack my bag! Grin

Pagwatch · 20/05/2011 08:43

Well say no then

Ds1 did this for his school. And yes he goes to a private school.
But firstly he didn't take any of the money raised and ,in common with a number of the boys, left money raised for the boys who needed it more and would otherwise not have been able to go.
And 50 % of the money went to the local hospice which was the schools chosen charity that year. They had collection boxes just for the hospice if you preferred.

And fwiw, if it makes you feel better, a lot of people have their bags packed, carried to the cars and then told the boys to fuck off

glassofwhiteanybody · 20/05/2011 08:44

I don't mind bag packers, but I would always help them. I'm surprised so many people are very bothered about exactly how their shopping is put away

lesley33 · 20/05/2011 08:47

I don't have any problem with this for charities or youth clubs - and most youth clubs are charities or are eligible to be one. My local M & S does this a lot and it is ALWAYS for children to go abroad on a trip - usually somewhere expensive. Yes you can say no, but I think it creates pressure on you not to appear mean and give some money.

I wouldn't mind if they were really working for it e.g. cleaning cars or doing gardening. But lets be honest, packing 1 or 2 bags (and for M& S that is usually all it is) is not a service you would normally pay a £1 for. It is a form of begging, just as sponsorship forms are.

I have never seen people packing bags like this in poorer areas for expensive trips abroad. And I think it is because quite rightly, people would be saying I can't afford to send my kids on trips like this, why should I subsidise you.

And to some posters - 50p or £1 may not be a lot to you, but to some people every penny counts. Although i am lucky enough not to be in that position any more I have been.