to not want people packing my bags at the supermarket checkout to raise funds for their kid's football/ice hockey/ highland dance trip to Croatia?

[bleedingstill]

My kids have hobbies. I pay for them.
Bag packing at supermarkets is a bit annoying, no?
On several counts.

I feel better now

I hate anyone messing with my packing routine and I like to know where everything is, so I stand in between and intercept, packing myself but passing stuff over that isn't easily mangled or squashed. Or all the dairy. Or all the tins. The one time I was persuaded to let them do it everything was squashed and all the meat was pacled in with bleach and air freshener. aaaaarghhhh

Even dh doesn't help me pack he just gets the bags ready and hefts full ones into the trolley

I don't/can't give to everyone who asks, but I really don't mind people asking.... we had Christian Aid at the door yesterday, I was smiley, said "I already give to certain charities, but thanks and good luck", the lady was lovely and the conversation lasted less than a minute.

For me, I prefer the bag packing system, I've sometimes only put a penny in their bucket (they wouldn't know this) rather than say "No", like I say no one TOUCHES my bags, I don't have a system as such I just like packing my shopping myself. I'd rather see the kids who will benefit from the fundraising doing something pro-active than seeing an adult representative stood at the door acosting me when I'm on the way out... that's my preference.

Being on a PTA and having been on pre-school committees and toddler group committees I know how hard fundraising is, and I know that money is always needed to keep the service going. The local swimming club keeps costs low so all children can be involved, but they stil need to do fundraising events to keep the club open.

It does feel that everyone's a charity these days, but they all need money, donating is not compulsory and no one should ever feel pressure (unless its an internal pressure of the conscience) to donate.

"a lot of people have their bags packed, carried to the cars and then told the boys to fuck off"

I assume that wasn't a literal 'fuck off' but simply a verbal thanks with no offer of cash. Sadly it is a reflection on the people in the area you live, though I suppose it might be that those who take advantage need to be given some sort of leaflet explaining how 50% (100% if requested) goes to (the Hospice, this year) and it might make some of those feel guilty about their poor attitude.

Personally I don't have any spare cash either to donate for packing or to avoid someone else packing, but from time to time (several times each year) there are groups (not for school trips) offering to pack bags in Iceland or the Somerfield (Co-Op) stores near me, in a not-well-off part of N Wales.

I usually pay by debit card so don't have small change anyway, take bags with me, and don't need any 'assistance', so politely say no thanks.

I take exception to posters on the thread calling others skinflints, when you don't know what the circumstances are, financially... probably things are not as rosy as for you!

My DD did her first bag pack recently with Guides. She had a lovely time. Met some lovely people. The two cashiers she worked with thought she was great. Some people donated, some didn't. Her class teacher let my DD pack her bag and then did not give her any money (we have issues). Taught my DD some valuable life lessons on how to approach people and the way different people will respond to you.

Forgot to add - yes it does annoy me that it is done, and I would happily say "I'd never shop here again" except one has fewer and fewer options. Have to add that I've never seen anyone at Lidl doing similar.

Joan of Argos... That's my point actually, the elderly are not a charity just as scouts and schools are not. I would take a bigger interest in kids that were learning about the communities they're living in and actually doing something for which the only benefit they derive is the pleasure of doing something for somebody else.

LyingWitch our scout group do give back to the community too - carol singing around the old folks homes, gardening and cleaning for the churches for example.

And I'd like to put in a word of praise for all the volunteers who give their time and energy to running the groups, and fundraise as well.

Well of course that is a good thing to do, but it doesn't seem fair to resent/be annoyed by the kids who are raising money for something they themselves will benefit from in particular - ie., more than the kids who aren't bag packing!

Dd has a paper round - obviously she earns money from it, but I could (actually might!) argue that she does learn about the community she's living in because of and through that as well. There are loads of houses round our way now where she knows the people (often elderly, now I think of it) which she wouldn't have done were she not delivering their papers.

I'm not saying delivering papers is an act of atruism, of course, just that it's unfair to assume that because something has benefit to the person doing it, it is necessarily a bad thing.

The kid packing your bags (or not!) might go home and feed next door's cat or whatever for free, you don't know! Any more than you know that a kid who isn't packing bags is or is not doing that. Just because at that moment they're doing something (possibly) for their own benefit, it seems unfair to assume they only ever act in their own self-interest!

I feel so sad reading this.....my three youngest are part of a pipe band (one is at competing level). If it weren't for this fundraising, he wouldn't be able to compete - simple as that. I pay for the nights they are tutored, I run them to and from where they are tutored, but there is no way I could run the oldest all over the country where they compete, and pay for uniform, and instruments. The uniforms belong to the band and are loaned out, and the instrument he happens to play is also owned by the band (as are all the drums). When my younger son starts competing he will be able to borrow band pipes but I will be expected to buy a set after a maximum borrowing time of a year (this is to let everyone have a go).

They don't jet off to far flung countries (the furthest they're going this year is Belfast) and they do lots for charities - they give up a lot of weekends during the summer to play at all sorts of charity events (as an example they're playing at DecAid in Edinburgh in June - a forces charity). The local council completely stopped their funding this year and the boys and girls have had to work twice as hard fundraising and finding a sponsor.

I ALWAYS supervise them on bag packing duty and of course help out myself. I make sure they ask, and if folk don't want their bag packed to politely step back and let them get on with it. It doesn't even matter if the person has their bag packed and doesn't donate - like someone said above, it's a valuable life lesson about how people treat others too. Even if I don't want my bags packed I try and throw in a bit of change - and I am always strapped for cash. Although I haven't come across any private schools trying to pay for foreign trips - when I was at private school the parents paid or you didn't go (I didn't go).

It really is ok if you don't want your bag packed, or if you get your bag packed and you can't/won't donate, honestly

Do you really think those boys or adult helpers want to spend their free Saturday or Sunday packing up your skanky value sausages? Of course they'd rather not but it's highly lucrative for them. Some teams can greatly reduce subs for the whole year with this sort of activity. Don't want it? Just say "No thanks", but they're only there to offer a service that helps their club or charity, not because they like meeting grumpy old sods.

love ya mofo

I am prepared to stare categorically that there is nobody on mumsnet who could not afford to put 10p into tha collecting bucket. Nobody.

Saying you can't afford it is just trying to guilt trip the people doing the collecting.

And if you don't want them to pack your bags, just say no. Lots of people do.

Joan... That was supposed to be an idle musing really, I said 'kids' but I actually meant 'schools'. When I was a child, we had a lot of encouragement from the school to do things for our neighbours, particularly elderly ones, or mums with new babies or looking out for kids who didn't have anyone to play with.

I think circumstances are now different; funding was different then and schools didn't have the pressure to fundraise. Groups' activities were covered by the 'subs' that were paid each week. Halcyon days of the 70s, I suppose. [dreamy old-fashioned emoticon]

I'll carry on packing my own bags because I have a nutty system that nobody but me can follow, and I'll carry on chucking in what I can whether they're cherubic youngsters or sulky teens...

I never realised though that private schools were doing bag-packing... I'll have to watch out for that.

I get you, lying. I don't think the trips available where as impressive back then, either, perhaps because flying wasn't as cheap.

All we ever did was an exchange trip to Belgium (our school was so lame we didn't go to France for it).

I am not proud of myself for this, but I'm a bit about them as around here, they're only ever from one of the private schools, collecting funds for some amazing trip to South America that most teens could only dream of.

Many other groups and I wouldn't have a problem - it's just that this doesn't seem a particularly worthy cause. I accept that this might make me a bit of a twat.

Bob-a-Job week anyone

Doesn't make you a twat at all, jenair

Actually though, dd and friends have been trying to get a Saturday afternoon for ages, but almost all the supermarkets have said they will now only allow bag packing for actual charities - not trips of any kind. So presumably customer feedback is generally in tune with the OP - at least where I live.

Waitrose issued blanket 'no', Sainsburys and Tesco charities only - have had to settle for Morrisons, in about four months time. I'll post prior notice on here so you know where to avoid if the sight of my sullen spoilt teen having the audacity to hope you might bung her 50p might offend or upset you!

Get them bag packing in Aldi! Even my tight husband would pay for that!

If you don't want someone else to pack your bags just say "No thanks, I'd rather pack my own".

Joan it doesn't offend me, I just think it's a bit cheeky.

I'd happily sponsor a child to do some litter collection or tidy up a wildlife reserve or whatnot - something that actually benefitted the community as well as funding their UCAS-form-enhancing trip.

I know some who ran art workshops and things for children at their old primary school - that seemed to work well.

I was thinking more of the OP who might be offended! You seem like a pretty good sort.

dd most emphatically does not go to private school

Actually I always put something in their buckets, but I guess for me the issue is that hate feeling manipulated into doing something, - and I would feel a bit bad if I didn't give them something - poor kids. So I allow myself to go along with the manipulation - give them what they want for for packing my shopping - 4 items in each bag!

I draw the line with people knocking on my door for money though. Yes I do - draw the line. But even then I might be persuaded and coerced by a very cunning manipulator to part with my money - if they used a crafty guilt trip.

Supermarkets normally operate a system where the bag packing is allowed on every second till. Both my local supermarket chains do this and it is a nationwide policy. So why dont you just open your eyes and go to a till without them?

I know a dance teacher who has a dance school in a local industrial estate
She charges top rate for her classes. She also charges the children for costumes for "shows" which they do not get to keep .
She reuses them the next year for the next "show" and charges the parents again for costumes.
Show tickets are also sold .
Worryingly she also asks that the children bring in smartie tubes filled with pound coins... also on the pretence of "new costumes being funded"
. Her favorite pastime is to take the children bag packing in supermarkets , for money. It isnt for charity , its for the "not so new costumes". These costumes must have been paid for at least 10 times over. ITS DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR , almost child exploitation.

So i never ever let a child pack my bags at supermarket , i just keep thinking of that dance teacher (who drives an x5 and has just bought a 4 bed detached house btw).

Id rather give money to charites who do not emotionally blackmail you into giving out of sympathy to a child who has to spend his or her weekend packing bags out of obligation.