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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want people packing my bags at the supermarket checkout to raise funds for their kid's football/ice hockey/ highland dance trip to Croatia?

268 replies

bleedingstill · 20/05/2011 00:34

My kids have hobbies. I pay for them.
Bag packing at supermarkets is a bit annoying, no?
On several counts.

I feel better now

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 20/05/2011 09:25

lesley33 as i said my daughter attends a SEN school and it is the most effective way for them to raise funds that can include all of the children, different things work in different areas.

Birdsgottafly · 20/05/2011 09:26

The children in wheelchairs can manage it, on the 'wheelchair' till.

lottiejenkins · 20/05/2011 09:26

Our local supermarket employs two men with learning difficulties to do bag packing and trolley collection. They are great! They always pack the bags the correct way and are brilliant with ds who also has ld's.

diddl · 20/05/2011 09:27

Sounds awful to me tbh.

For the weekly shop with the car iyswim, we use these, and my husband has a system, which heaven forbid anyone would interfere withHmmGrin

Butterbur · 20/05/2011 09:27

I admire the kids who are giving up their time to pack bags to raise money, for a trip, rather than just going open handed to their parents.

It's no more of an imposition than the people in the carpark constantly asking if you want your car washed. If you don't want to, just say so.

I'm not sure why people find saying no such a problem.

bubblecoral · 20/05/2011 09:29

I'm not saying that people shouldn't be made aware that collectors are there, it's just the direct asking that I object to. I wouldn't feel guilty walking past a group of people standing there with a tin, but I do feel guilty saying no to a child who has directly asked me.

And if they ask, and provoke a guilty reaction in someone who is just getting on with a normal every day chore, they are responsible.

I well understand the difficulties in becoming a registered charity, it's really not easy at all, but that's another thread! However I feel that a cause that isn't a registered charity, such as someones rafting trip abroad, isn't worthy of making people feel guilty, or of their money. Scouts, many youth groups, school PTA's etc are registered charities, so they could do the collection tin thing if they chose to.

Cattleprod · 20/05/2011 09:29

They don't have them very often at our supermarket. But when they do it's always a surly 13 year old boy, and it's always on a day when you are buying stuff like sanitary towels, knickers, condoms, pile cream etc. Grin

BendyBob · 20/05/2011 09:30

Actually though thinking about this it depends how it's done.

If they come over and offer it's easier to say get lost no thanks.

If they are already stationed there, bag in hand, packing your stuff up without asking, then that's not on.

ChippyMinton · 20/05/2011 09:30

YABU. Our group are lucky to have a pre-Christmas slot every year and we raise loads of money which pays for equipment. And it helps the supermarket get customers through the tills more quickly. The younger children are helped by parents, and the older ones have been doing it for so many years they are experts Smile.

mummytime · 20/05/2011 09:30

I doubt anyone would go to kids car washing as opposed to professionals, they don't do as good a job. Parents and friends pay rather than do it themselves. (Well at least in my experience.)

lesley33 · 20/05/2011 09:34

Birdsgottafly - "as i said my daughter attends a SEN school and it is the most effective way for them to raise funds that can include all of the children"

Yes as I said it is used because it is an easy way of raising money for the amount of effort put in. That is why it is used so often. There are though other ways to fundraise that are harder work for all children including SEN. But I was responding to your post that was implying that there was no other way to raise funding - there is.

screamingskull · 20/05/2011 09:35

It's all good and well saying "My kid's have hobbies. I pay for them", that's great if you can afford it, but what about the other kids who join the same hobbies as your child and can only afford the entrance fee ie costs £1.50 every Friday night.

What happens to some of the poor souls when the time comes to buying new team strips, new jumpers for scouts , extra balls for the football team etc. Do they just get asked to leave " well Johnny if your mum can't afford the £25 for the team strip i'm affraid you are no longer welcome"

Yes wonderful if you can afford to pay for all the little extras that crop up but hey ho if we want all clubs to end up for the select few who can afford them,then yes you are right, lets pull all the bag packing and any other kind of fundrasier that may be used to help subsadise everyone who is involved in the club.

Although since you "pay for them" i guess you offer to pay the full price for everything and not just the knockdown price that the fundraiser has offset.

nethunsreject · 20/05/2011 09:35

You just say no thanks.

I've done bag packing for playgroup and really, no one minds!

NoelEdmondshair · 20/05/2011 09:43

I was watching some cubs/scouts offering packing at Sainbury's. One of the young uns kept having his offers to pack turned down and I saw him turn and give a really crestfallen look to the cubs leader Sad.

Just let them share the packing with you and chuck in a few pence if that's all you can afford although it ticks me off too

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2011 09:45

Goodness me, calling people mean-spirited cowbags if they don't want your sullen, moody and disinterested teens packing their bags. I've yet to see a cheery one and, whilst I don't let them pack I do put in whatever spare change I have.

Just look at your own sulky attitudes when someone doesn't want to play ball with this and see where they get it from. Shock

Some people are really struggling with bills, that's going to trump whatever non-essential trip is being extorted fundraised for. I like the idea of car-washing though, that really would be a worthwhile service to me.

JoanofArgos · 20/05/2011 09:51

lyingwitch as I say, I don't think it's mean-spirited not to contribute, but I do think it's mean-spirited to actually mind about it.

I've never seen a sullen or moody child do this -to be honest, it's inevitably going to be a largely self-selecting group of motivated, engaged kids I would have thought.

bonkers20 · 20/05/2011 09:53

My DS(12) will be doing the dreaded bag pack to raise funds for a Scout trip to Norway. He is paying for 1/3 of this expensive trip himself. I'm in two minds. Yes, it's a brilliant and fun holiday for him, but being in Scouts hopefully keeps kids on the straight and narrow so I see it as something more than a hobby.

lesley33 · 20/05/2011 09:55

I don't have a problem with clubs raising money this way. I have given money through collecting tins for things like the scouts. But I do when it comes to expensive trips abroad. I really do think trips abroad are a luxury that you shouldn't be expecting other people to contribute to. And I don't really think it matters the amount being asked for.

CherryDrops · 20/05/2011 09:55

I just smile and say no thank you. I don't give them money as I don't have much to spare and wouldn't choose to spend it on someone else's hobbies. I don't mind them being there as long as they are happy to move on if their services aren't wanted.

lesley33 · 20/05/2011 09:56

Yes scouts is something more than a hobby. A trip to Norway is a luxury that many ordinary families can not afford.

NoelEdmondshair · 20/05/2011 09:59

Why do scouts need to go on an expensive trip to Norway???

stickytoffeepud · 20/05/2011 10:07

i never have money on me, but if its Help for Heroes doing the packing, I make an effort to get some from the cashpoint

Anyone else, I say sorry no change

CogitoErgoSometimes · 20/05/2011 10:09

YABU. We do this with our cubs and scouts, usually for one day before Xmas, to raise funds. They could just stand on the street shaking a bucket & asking for contributions but at least if they've done something useful to earn the 50p it's a fair trade-off. Most people are quite nice about it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2011 10:13

Let me just ask... do any of the schools and clubs ever do anything, free of charge, for charity for older people or special needs schools? Do they give of their time then or is it just when they want to raise funds for their own means?

We have quite an elderly population here and they don't get to see any chlidren, they have no visitors, no events... but if they go to the supermarket, welll... Hmm

JoanofArgos · 20/05/2011 10:23

I don't know about scouts and guides because my girls don't do them, but I'm fairlyu sure that doing things for charity is a big part of what those organisations are all about, isn't it?

As for schools, well yes IME they do lots, and raise lots, for charities! Charity football matches, non-uniform days for Comic Relief, SCBU and so on...