to be unable to live with a msbp accusation?

[munchausens]

Has anyone ever been falsely accused of munchausens syndrome by proxy or more commonly called fabricated illness syndrome now?

If so how do you live with it or recover from it? Has anyone been aware of this accusation and managed to clear their name? In particular anyone who has been accused of it for complaining about a misdiagnosis and challenging the professionals. How can you defend yourself as everything seems to make it worse as all defence makes one closer to the classic profile of the msbp mother!

I am scared to take my children to the doctor and petrified they might get injured. Yesterday I dropped the glass bottle containing my sons prescription and now have to ask for a new prescription so I have been distraught since for fear I am accused of overdosing him. We are not at a situation where the children have been put on an at risk register or any attempt has been made to take them but we just live in fear that this is being considered or that something could trigger this at any time.

For anyone who thinks it could never happen to them or there is no smoke without fire well I was totally the same and really believed this type of thing could never happen to a professional family living an extremely privileged life in a loving 2 parent family. Now I just think if someone like Sally Clark couldnt defend herself despite being a solicitor how can we.

If anyone has been in this situation and is able to offer advice or can point me in an appropriate direction for help I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for these comments

Tortu ? we were told we were not allowed to take notes in meetings with my sons psychiatrist/psychologist. Prior to this my husband and i had both taken notes at every appointment we ever had with any professional which presumably contributed to the initial msbp accusation. We have continued to keep detailed notes despite this and I think the size of our file just adds to their belief.

Toughasoldboots ? has anything like this happened to you?

Halfternhero ? I have been taking legal advice throughout from the leading experts in this type of case and they certainly seem to think this is a msbp case. The solicitors recommendation appears to be to wait for the professionals to act because by us acting first ie by asking to see all the records it may prompt them to do something. Alternatively the records may be withheld because they do not have to let us see their concerns re msbp. I am not sure how long they think we should wait before requesting the records as they had expected we would hear something by now from last professionals meeting.

curryspice ? thanks for your concern, i am only alone tonight my husband is home tomorrow but i cant get this out of my head it is just so mad, I just cant make any sense of it.

I am finding it extremely difficult to do nothing as it is not in my nature hence my posting to see if anyone has been in this situation.

Can you give him a ring OP or a friend / relative that knows the back story

I can only begin to imagine how farught and upset you must feel but I think you need to talk about this tonight with a RL person, just to get it out of your brain for tonight iykwim

I feel for you, I really do!

Thinking of you be strong x

Try googling "false allegations child abuse". I did at the time we were dealing with social services and had in the back of my mind that I'd go legal if ever I felt that we were doubted.

If I were you I really would seek legal advice now. You never believe it will happen to you until it does. There are many people who have been falsely accused and you need to protect your family now.

sorry - didn't see page 2!

Op, it sounds like you have done all the right things and that you ARE on top of this ,no matter how (understandably) anxiety inducing it all seems right now. Keep in close contact with your legal advisors and tell yourself that it will all be ok in the end.

Hopefully someone will come forward soon to speak of having been in a similar situation.

Not allowed to take notes during meetings? I would get out my notebook anyway and carry on. Don't see how this could be enforced.

Yes, maybe ring the Samaritans or some more specialised service.

it sounds terrible... it sounds like they have labelled you and are now trying to find evidence to fit... and disputing it is just proof you have got it.. what a nightmare.

I have trailed down to the dr again and again with dd about her joints. someone near here got accused of subjecting their dc to unnecessary appointments and it has worried me sick ever since. to be really suspected must be appalling. I really feel for you and hope that you can get some really good advice..

I don't understand how this started. Can you explain how this all came about at the beginning, OP?

Gosh, OP sounds like you're having a total nightmare.

Take notes in meetings and make sure you keep taking legal advice.

How did it come to pass that you were accused of this?

Oh poor you. Some great suggestions here. Maybe also you could try building up a support network of people who are able to testify how well the children are eg their teachers, Scout leader, Sunday school teacher. Just think that sometimes it helps to have a body of evidence to support your case.

Am thinking of you and sending you a supportive cyber hug.

In answer to the queries as to how it started

I believe it started because i saw the same paediatrician twice in the same week at different locations for 2 different children. Well that was what I thought at the time but as yet i have no evidence of this and that was why I felt at the time she did not listen to my sons symptoms and did not follow NHS guidelines as outlined by NICE or map of medicine websites and hence failed to diagnose his illness. I accept that I may have been a bit off at her poor reaction to seeing me twice and I have experienced 2 serious misdiagnoses for myself so accept that I am very untrusting of the medical profession. Having said that this was the first and only time my younger child has ever been referred and was found to have glue ear so not really a reason for suspicion I would have thought.

It may be that nothing was documented at this time and that it was only later when I complained about the misdiagnosis that the accusation was raised but I certainly came home from the very first appointment and said to my husband they think i have mspb and since then i have never attended an appointment on my own. The accusations have just escalated since then. Unfortunately I can see that I do fit the classic profile of a msbp mother ie my own medical history with misdiagnoses and subsequent complaints, having the same childhood symptoms as my son, appearing over organized and challenging, middle class, well educated etc. Although I have never worked in the medical profession or any similar field and there are other things that dont fit like I had never really mentioned my sons symptoms so was not gaining attention or sympathy or claiming money for it as I understand is generally the case. He had never been in hospital for example.

Jacky Jak - I had listed so many people that could support but they have refused to speak to anyone. I was tempted to get letters from everyone and just submit them all but I only did 3 because I was scared it could be seen as manipulative and also the accusations would become public knowledge. It is such a hard thing to fight as everything makes you seem more manipulative and hence more guilty.

munchausens... I'm going to go back and read the rest of the thread in a minute but have you considered contacting the police and/or your own solicitor? What I know of the syndrome is that many normal behaviours can fit the so-called profile BUT it's a real syndrome and children have died as a result. In your position, which could happen to ANYBODY, I would be launching an 'attack' myself. You need help dealing with this.

I'm racking my brains to think of what a person suffering munchausens wouldn't do.

1. Get help from the police for fear of being arrested for their very real crime.
2. Comply with hospital instructions NOT to visit whilst child is there.
3. Refuse to see doctors/nurses without being accompanied.
4. Put everything in writing and copy in relevant agencies.
5. Restrict visits to doctors/nurses as only as necessary.
6. Ask somebody else to take child(ren) for medical treatment.

I think you need expert help. Accusations can be very powerful and they can run and run until the conclusion. You can't fight this on your own. :(

My God. Poor you OP. Yopu have all my sympathy.
I can assocaite , to a very minor degree with some of what you say.
I have been accused, to SS. Recorded as depressed and sent to mental health when my muma nd dh insisted that I was not.And one time they quoted, " they have concerns", was actually my dh that had taken my son to A&E and I wasn't even there.
I actually said to the Headmistress last week, who still insists that my possible Aspergers son, has nothing wrong with him, if she thought I had munchausens and was just making this all up for attention.
Poor you.

What form have the accusations taken, munchausens?

I ask because, in my experience, the health service are very direct, whereas it seems (only from your post) quite vague - with you saying that your solicitors have advised you to wait for the health professionals to act before they will take your case forwards.

Only in my experience, obviously, but the health people act very directly, early on, and quite obviously - they don't mess about with being subtle - so I am wondering why your solicitors have advised you to wait?

Other than that, no advice, because you already seem to be doing all you can (seeking legal advice, for example).

Afraid I can't add to any practical advice OP but thinking of you.

Just wanted to add to the back up you have received re glass bottles for medication. Lots of medication can come in glass bottles in fact some has to as the medication can interact with some plastics. Bottles for liquids that pharmacist will fill from bulk containers are almost always glass IME and I have dispensed 1000s of prescriptions in the past..

Reading back, I see that you said you had been coerced into a psychological assessment, which you had been incorrectly (with intent of deception) led to believe was a counselling session.

It strikes me that there must be legal grounds there already.

It sounds very stressful but are you certain that you ARE being accused and that you are not reading too much into it if that makes sense?

I would have thought that if they had serious concerns of Munchausens then they would be implementing all manner of safeguarding with regards to your child - is your child catagorised "at risk" by social services? Placed on the CP register? Have a child in need plan?

Legal advice is definitely a good step, even just a consultation and somebody who you can call if things get more serious?

In terms of your child, I'm a little confused. So they were referred to a paeditrician, was that by you? I know you say they were misdiagnosed but are you satisfied they have the correct diagnosis now? Are the health pros satisfied they have the correct diagnosis now? I am trying to estblish if this is a conflict over the diagnosis or the ongoing care...

thanks for this animula - have you had any experience of any health service being direct about msbp??
All NHS guidelines clearly state the mother must not be made aware of the accusations as there is a risk of the child being killed!!!!! All the legal advice I have been given supports this but I would be very interested to hear if you know different. I have been advised that they can be direct in all other cases just not msbp.

Am I right in assuming that this isn't primarily a social services matter as your local authority only became involved due to concerns expressed by your ds's paediatrician after you had complained raised the possibility that your ds's condition had been misdiagnosed?

If so, any formal complaint should be directed at the hospital where your ds was/is being treated, but it may not be wise for you/your dh to instigate this process without the guidance of a professional (solicitor, independent social worker, or similar).

Are you satisfied that your ds has now been accurately diagnosed? If not, you are at liberty to seek a second opinion from a consultant paediatrician - use the net to find a specialist in the field of your ds's condition.

Are there any ongoing issues which may lead to the commission of further assessments/reports, or is it the case that the matter is effectively closed but you have understandable concerns about what remains on file?

For the record, when it comes to health and other professionals covering their backs, I am well aware that many some have been known to create a smokescreen to obsfucate their incompetence/ineptitude/negligence. In such cases a judicial review has the power to clear smog once and for all.

It's not easy to exist in a state of fear or uncertainty, and if I were you I'd be giving your legal advisers a kck up the bum.

have you had mental health problems in the past OP?

Animula - I dont think I can prove anything about the psychiatric assessment. I asked for some counselling as i had said i had found parentlines 6 week phone back service great but it was no longer available. I was given an appointment which I attended and dont have anything in writing to prove I was misled as it was verbal. In hindsight I can see that attending adult mental health services for the appointment might have been a warning but I presumed counselling came under the same clinic. I only found out it was an assessment when I was told I had lied at the appointment and I then obtained a copy of the assessment which was actually a true report of my chat and stated I did not require any help. In fact I think I was more relaxed and open and genuine by not knowing it was an assessment - I would be so stressed now and probably appear guilty by trying to say the right thing.

"Alternatively the records may be withheld because they do not have to let us see their concerns re msbp"

Can you not request your records under the Freedom of Information Act? I thought you were entitled to any and all documents held by professionals that concerned you in any way.

Still, I'm very shocked at this munchausen. They've started a bloody witch hunt by the sounds of it and you're the one they want to burn. I'm sorry this is happening to you

Sorry, OP, my experience is only of health service "checking procedures", and is positive, so I don't think it would be helpful.