When we are invited to stay at my brother and sister-in-laws, my sister-in-law often goes out, and in the evening she?s been known to sit in a separate room to the rest of us. When she is with us, she feels very free in advising me on where I am ?going wrong? with my children, or commenting on their behaviour.
She comments on how many times we use the toilet or how much bathwater we use so we try to share the same bathwater when we stay and I?ll wait till we go out to go to the loo. When we visited at Christmas, we were asked to bring a bag of coal with us for the heating.
The worst was this last visit. My sister-in-law is a social worker, working with children in custody disputes. At breakfast, she asked my daughter (who was sitting on her dad?s lap) a question about dresses. My daughter is shy, went quiet and looked to me for a lead, so I answered for her, with ?Is that right, DD?? at the end.
My Sister in Law responded by saying out of the blue that, if we were visiting her in her professional capacity, she would award custody to my husband, as my daughters response showed that I was an overcontrolling mother. She went on that if she were our social worker, it would explain why my children are so backward in their social development. To wrap it all up, she said that, in her professional capacity, she wouldn?t be surprised if my husband went off with a dolly bird.
I feel very upset. I don?t know what I could have done to make her say it. I think all the signs are that she hates me, but I don?t know why. AIBU?