Would you mind if your friend fancied your DH?

[MooMooFarm]

Because I don't think I do mind - but someone has commented that it's a bit strange so now I'm wondering if I'm too easy going!

I have a friend, not my BF, who I see every month or so for a shopping trip and a coffee/gossip. She is single, about my age and has children from a previous marriage (she's been single for years and goes on loads of dates through the net).

Anyway, she has always gone on about how hunky and lovely my DH is, and how lucky I am, how we're the happiest couple she knows, etc. To me that is fair enough - he is lovely and treats me fantastically. So to me she is just seeing that - she has had lots of crap relationships so obviously sees the contrast in him. She jokingly says it in front of him, and it's been like that so long that we all joke about it. She doesn't flirt with him other than in a very silly Barbara Windsor way, and he usually just gets a bit embarrased and keeps out of the way - he's a blokes bloke, he doesn't do girly chat, so he keeps his head down when any of my friends are around.

But a family member recently witnessed this banter (which is what I see it as) and took me aside and said she wouldn't like it and she wouldn't trust her as she's single and clearly sees my H as a catch! I was so shocked she said it that I laughed, but it did make me wonder if I'm the unusual one not minding? I trust DH 100% and have no reason not to. I also trust my friends, but TBH, even if I didn't it wouldn't matterbecause I trust my DH.

So should I be wary of her? Would you be happy to be friends with someone like that?

Yes. I would be so jealous and paranoid that I would stop speaking to her, stay away from her and probably move at least 50 miles away.

It's not rational, but it's honest I quite seriously would not be able to have her in my life if I knew she fancied my husband. I know that that crosses the line from jealous to nuts, but I assume you wanted honest answers.

Even from the insanely jealous

Ooh toby's bf is indeed cute. And you live near me

:o

Ha! You'll have a job finding him in the place on my profile. He's at work in London

I usually have a pic of dh on my profile. A MNer once asked if she could 'have a go on him'.

He's a bit bony. There are more satisfying rides.

Dammit, I want to see now! I like them bony

Ha - the train from London stops here too you know

(I'm only joking - I'm 15 years older than you are :o)

It doesn't really sound like she fancies him, just that she thinks he's attractive. Not the same thing at all.

I would not like it if someone made comments about "the view" when DH was working in the garden. It wouldn't make me jealous, but it would embarrass him, and I don't think it's a nice way to talk about someone.

Hmm spidookly the comment about 'the view' didn't go over my head, it did 'affect me', but not in a bad way - maybe I'm an old perv but it just made me think 'hmm yes the view is very yummy' and as soon as my friend had gone home I made the most of it . So it certainly hasn't caused any problems - if anything knowing other people lust after him vahvooms things up a bit sometimes....

Bumfuzzle surely unless your H is a complete plank, some people you know must think he's attractive. And does that mean if you knew that, you wouldn't want to know them anymore? He must be with you cos he wants you, doncha think?

And yes I know it's a bit sexist and not very grown up to talk about my H like he's a sex object but he honestly doesn't seem to mind