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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DS either eat what is here or go hungry?

98 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 16:52

Last week sweetcorn was great this week he hates it
yesterday he wanted Pizza, today I have been lazy accomadating and ordered him a pizza for dinner.

Ham, cheese mushroom and sweetorn.

He is refusing point blank to eat it. AIBU to tell him thats all there is and he either eats it or goes hungry?

He is 12 and yes he has AS but I refuse to pander to his every whim.

OP posts:
Strix · 18/05/2011 16:54

I know nothing of AS, but I regularly take this line with my 6 and 8 year olds. And did when they were much younger as well.

messymammy · 18/05/2011 16:57

I only ever make one dinner.dd knows this,and Ive often screechedsaid "this is not a restaurant" to bring my point home.If she doesnt eat her dinner then she gets it later cold if she looks for something.Needless to say,it doesn't happen often,as she knows what my stock response is.YANBU

clairefromsteps · 18/05/2011 16:57

If it's something my two have eaten before and have enjoyed then I tend to assume that they're pulling a fast one. Especially if they pull the old 'I'm too full for dinner but not to full for afters' routine.

'This isn't a restaurant, you know!' was my mum's battle cry, and is fast becoming mine too.

inkyfingers · 18/05/2011 16:58

You haven't made him eat it; you've left him with a choice. Don't know much about AS but as long as you don't get stressy about it, he needs to learn to be flexible.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 16:58

So am I BU not pandering to him or do I stick to my guns?

Even DS2 who is 3 has managed to figure out he doesn't want the sweetcorn so he has picked it off the pizza.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 18/05/2011 17:00

If he likes it he should eat it.....

My DS is the fussiest kid ever and it is soooo frustrating. However, if i serve him something I know he likes and he then decides he doesnt like it then tough bloody luck....I am not running a cafe!

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:00

Not stressy (for a change hehe) but have told him "either eat it or go hungry"

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:01

Betty amen there then, I am glad I am not being ott this time Grin

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 18/05/2011 17:01

Lady - if you were making him eat something he doesnt like then maybe U......he wanted pizza yesterday so you know he likes it. YANBU and stick to your guns (easier said than done I know).

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:02

Betty am considering force feeding in a minute Wink not really but yes it is frustrating.

OP posts:
cricketballs · 18/05/2011 17:03

I do it all the time; they either eat what I have cooked or they go hungry. They have soon learnt that I am not going to cook several different meals and if they are hungry then they eat what is on their plate.

I also refuse to not put something on their plate that they may not like, i.e. veg (for the record, I offer more than the one type of veg in a meal!) If they didn't like cabbage yesterday then it will still go on their plate tomorrow and will keep going on their plate. This has worked with the eldest; he used to be so picky but now will eat any veg on his plate

scarletfingernail · 18/05/2011 17:03

You've got him something he likes so YANBU.

FabbyChic · 18/05/2011 17:03

To be fair he told you LAST week he did not like sweetcorn anymore and you order a pizza with it on - why?

It's obvious he won't eat it and it is your fault.

skybluepearl · 18/05/2011 17:04

that is the line i take with all my kids. i don't make a big issue out of it. i just say heres you tea and if they don't eat they don't eat. i don't offer alternatives. he's not going to starve if he misses one meal.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:05

Fabby, Last week as in SATURDAY, yesterday he wanted to pizza I have today ordered.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:07

Fabby, its my fault as I was not clear in my OP.

Saturday he ate sweetcorn with his dinner. Not a mumble about not liking it. Yesterday he wanted me to order him a pizza with the toppings on which I ordered today.

Now he has it he is telling me he hates pizza and sweetcorn is nasty.

OP posts:
cricketballs · 18/05/2011 17:07

fabby - because the week before he liked it!

I have a DS with AS and although the PIL pander to every whim accomodate him I refuse to and he gets treated the same as other DS. He eats at home what is on his plate as over time he has learnt that it is not going to work. When he is at PIL's for a meal he trys it on as he knows it works.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:09

Cricket - I have so much to learn about AS Sad recently diagnosed with no help offered.

OP posts:
Mandy2003 · 18/05/2011 17:09

I wish I could say this to my son. He's 12 as well, was considered to be on the Autistic Spectrum. When he was between 2 and 3 years old though he refused to eat what he was given to such an extent that he lost over 1kg in weight. So I daren't try anything like refusing him what food he wants in case that happens again.

coccyx · 18/05/2011 17:09

Eat it, nothing else on offer.
If he looks like he might pass out , he can make himself some toast

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:10

Mandy sorry for the situation you are in - it puts things in perspective for me. Although DS would go without to be awkward rather than eat as he has decided he doesn't want to.

OP posts:
campion · 18/05/2011 17:15

You're not being that U but be prepared for a very frustrating evening for all of you.

I do know about AS and , trust me, backing down is not one of its features. Plus -as you no doubt know - confrontation just leads to more of the same.

Pick the sweetcorn off and try again. No luck then bin it and just see the bigger picture ( you can, he probably can't). A stress-free evening isn't a bad consolation prize.

Mandy2003 · 18/05/2011 17:16

Thanks Smile I found that negotiating with food or working things round a bit can sometimes work. I know it would be a bit gross but how about if you took the sweetcorn off and got him to grate some cheddar or put some mozzarella on it instead. Hard work to convince him it won't still taste of sweetcorn tho'!

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2011 17:16

Campion i know nothing about AS. I am still learning Sad.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 18/05/2011 17:17

Sorry! I thought he told you before today!

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