Hi I am no 3 of 4 children (all adults now) 49, 47, 42 and 38
My older sis is the eldest, then my bro, me and younger sis. Our parents split when I was 18 so 24 years ago, both remarried, Never really got to know my dads wife as he is a funny man not very interested in us anymore.
Both myself and my db are still in contact with him although it is limited, My sisters have no contact, Older one cos she can't be arsed to make the effort, He is very hard work and I think very old school and if we don't make the effort then he will hold a grudge.
Younger sis didn't speak to him for years and then when her dh died last year my dad called her but no contact since.( I lost contact for a few years whilst with my abusive ex but when my bro told my dad about it he called me and we have been in contact since)
A few years after my mum and dad split my mum met and married a wonderful man, they were sweethearts at school, met up by chance, and my younger sis and I went to school with his 3 sons, He has been more than a stepdad to us and has been the only real grandad that my kids have known.
sorry if i'm going on a bit but felt a bit of history would be needed.
Well if you were to ask all four of us about our childhood I know that 3 of us would say we had a good childhood, hardworking dad, very loving mum who worked pt, My dad wasn't a very physical person, I cannot remember ever having a cuddle when I was young or anything but he was there for us and provided what we needed, We respected and looked up to him cos he was our dad, I do remember a few rows between my parents in my teens but nothing really bad.
My older sis reckons we all had a crap childhood,
Well now back to the present, Me, 2 sisters ( kids) and mum and stepdad all live in same area, my bro lives a fair bit away and works really hard but still finds the time to visit when he can and phones my mum regularly,
Both myself and my younger sis are very close to my mum, My mum is very good with my niece and takes care of her before and after school as my younger sis has to work, My older sis couldn't give a shit about any of us to be honest, she never visits or phones or texts unless there is a birthday or very special event,
She lives 10 minutes away from us by car (she drives, we don't) but no bus route so for us to go to her would take prob 40 min walking, not that she has ever invited any of us to her flat in 4 years,
It is my stepdads birthday today and my mum has heard nothing from her, my ex bro in law (who we are still very close to him as she left him for someone else and he is the father of my niece's) has dropped a card in but she will not bother, she never has for my stepdad.
My mum cannot understand why she is the way she is towards family, she always has more than enough time for friends but family doesn't seem to matter.
My mum says that she prob thinks that if there is a problem then one of us will let her know but I cannot understand why she can go months at a time wothout speaking to us, just to see how things are going or to catch up on any gossip, to see my little niece whos is almost 6 and just a wonderfull little girl,
I do not get how that out of four of us one can be so uninterested and cold towards close family members, we all grew up together, my bro was only 2 years after her, why does she have such a different perspective on our childhood?