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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be nosey and ask about your social life...

68 replies

glittercheeks · 17/05/2011 21:00

DH have a fair few friends but we only really get together on birthdays, christenings, weddings etc....always an occasion rather than a "just because" type scenario...

I am not too fussed about this either way as we seem to be always on the go with 3 young DC but just wanted to nose and ask are you a constant social animal, dinner parties and such like or do you wish you saw more of your friends but never organise or find the time?

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GnomeDePlume · 17/05/2011 21:04

Going out for us is Tesco, B&Q and Focus. If we are feeling frivolous we go to Waitrose.

Kind of lost contact with most friends through moving a lot but somehow it doesnt really seem to matter.

AuntiePickleBottom · 17/05/2011 21:05

my friends and i, meet up once a month for a take-away and a few drinks.

but every friday night it my night off from the kids, while dp has our children, i go up my mums for a few drinks (but we very rare go out together)

Punkatheart · 17/05/2011 21:06

Facebook. Email. I keep 'em all together in an Internet box. It really helps. As for actually getting together - I am rarely well enough. So remote friendships, although not ideal, are better than nothing.....

I can hear about their successes, moans and new babies.

millie30 · 17/05/2011 21:06

I'm a lone parent and don't have any child free time. I have a close group of friends though and we keep in touch by email, texts, phone calls, facebook and then making an effort to meet up for special occasions. I would like to see more of them but none of us live that close to each other anymore.

Birdsgottafly · 17/05/2011 21:07

We certainly don't have the time that we would like to have. The problem is that my OH has a large family and there always seems to be something going on with them that we have to go to. We tend to just meet up with friends randomly in one of the pubs that we go to occasionally, more over winter than summer, when we are camping.

manicinsomniac · 17/05/2011 21:08

I'm a single mum and the majority of my friends don't have children so I tend to be on the 'social animal' side given half a chance.

Although a lot of it is organised activities like amateur dramatics

BluddyMoFo · 17/05/2011 21:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stealthsquiggle · 17/05/2011 21:09

I am with GnomeDePlume Sad - with the exception of a few close friends, but even those we don't see all that often.

ShinyMoonInAPurpleSky · 17/05/2011 21:11

What social life? Grin You mean mumsnet doesn't count?

smartyparts · 17/05/2011 21:11

We do dinner parties, taking turns with same group, every couple of months. Summertime we're better for having more regular dos with friends and their kids.

Try and go out with just dh once every 2 weeks - even if just for a couple of drinks.

We go out drinking with friends we've made at dcs school - maybe every couple of months.

I feel like we're gradually clawing back a decent social life as our dcs get older and I didn't realise we even missed it!

smoggii · 17/05/2011 21:12

We go out together to eat a couple of times per month but very rarely go for a 'drink' together unless it is an occasion.
I have lunch dates with different friends once or twice a month and go for a night out with the girls once every 3 months or so.
DH goes out with work colleagues once every couple of months and they go for lunch every two weeks.
Most of our socialising and meals out are done with family though.

glittercheeks · 17/05/2011 21:14

So its not just us then! We manage to make time for a meal out just the two of us quite often, which is obviously great but can't help but think it would be nice to do stuff with our friends more.

All my girlfriends have OHs but we just meet up as girlfriends when we go out rather than couples.

OP posts:
glittercheeks · 17/05/2011 21:16

Smoggii - thats us to a tee!

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Shaxx · 17/05/2011 21:16

Dh and I hardly ever go out together. I have a good circle of friends and am out usually once a week either to a friends house or cinema usually. Sometimes we'll go out for a drink or a meal.

Dh will go out after work occasionally but he often goes out with tennis buddies - for a game then a drink.

cannydoit · 17/05/2011 21:18

i go out once a week sometimes twice, generally with bf and then with friends its very important to me to go out and have a giggle.

Artichokes · 17/05/2011 21:28

Friendships keep me sane so i do put effort into regular contact.

I tend to go out with other local"mum" friends one night a fortnight, i also see said Mum friends at least once a week with the kids for playdates etc.

I work and have friends who are colleagues who i chat to around the office most days and go out drinking with every couple of months.

My oldest, closest friend lives far away but we tend to holiday together with our families each year.

I also have friends i am in a book club with who i see twice a month and a good friend i play tennis with once a week.

DH and I go to dinner parties/meals out with friends about once a month.

cat64 · 17/05/2011 21:37

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Mahraih · 17/05/2011 21:39

I feel very low if I don't see enough of people, it makes me feel very isolated and depressed.

I try to see a couple of people for coffee/lunch 'just because' each week (am on mat leave) with DS, and also see a few others for drinks one evening. I'll also make an effort to go to friends' parties, gigs etc, without DS.

Some weeks are slow, this week will be very busy, it just depends. DS is only 3 months so I'm still at 'half-mast' when it comes to going out, but it's good and I'm content.

It just takes much more effort and planning with a DC and I imagine much more so with more than one.

TattyDevine · 17/05/2011 21:52

It is much less since we had children but they are still there in the background. Facebook does help stay up to date with them without having to book a babysitter and make a date. Some people think that's sad but at the moment with the children so young and the distance with some of our friends its that or nothing so I can't see it as a bad thing.

We are in a dinner party circuit more locally though, a group of 5 couples who are all friends with each other, so 10 in all, so when its your turn you cook for 10 which is scary - but we take it in turns every 2 or 3 months and those nights are fantastic and much anticipated within the group.

I see these people week to week as well, those who dont work, as we have children the same age.

We have more distant friends we catch up with about twice a year, several sets of these, and we tend to see them once in the spring/summer and once before Christmas, basically we take in turns. These tend to be weekend get togethers at one or others houses, as once again, most have children these days.

These are various people from various jobs schools unis etc that you keep being friends with, who's weddings you were going to 10 years ago and who's kids you have seen being born (not literally but you know what I mean)

But the big long nights out in London are pretty few and far between these days, but that's okay. I could have them if I really wanted to.

FannyNil · 17/05/2011 21:59

This week is fairly typical (youngest child is 16, so no babysitting issues) - a leaving do, the theatre twice (one preview with cheap tickets, other a meet the actors session and free), one lunch celebrating new project with work colleagues. My job involves meeting lots of people - it often doubles as social life!

Jajas · 17/05/2011 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurrySpice · 17/05/2011 22:05

I go out with a friend for lunch or dinner at least once a week.

And because DP and I don't live together, I go out often with him (when he's home)

In the next week: I'm at a conference on Friday and Sarurday which is VERY social :o, on Sunday I'm going to the pub to watch the football, Monday I'm going to the pictures with a friend, Thursday I'm having lunch with an ex colleague, Friday to the theatre with a friend, following Sunday I've got a friend and her DCs coming over to watch the Air Show from DP's balcony and we'll have a BBQ if the weather's nice.

Blimey! I go out a lot Blush

muminthecity · 17/05/2011 22:17

I am a single parent and rely a lot on my friends. I talk to them every day and try to see them all as much as possible. I have them round to mine for takeaway/DVD nights at least once every 2 weeks. I also have a family who love babysitting so I go out for dinner/drinks/cinema/theatre about once a week, then have a big drunken night out about once a month. I also have a long weekend away with friends (without DC) once or twice a year and a week away with friends (with DC) once or twice a year.

On top of that I also go on dates now and again (one of my friends is always happy to babysit - they're all desperate for me to find a decent man Grin)

So I guess I have quite a busy social life overall.

blackholesun · 17/05/2011 22:22

I don't see friends very often these days as I'm pretty busy with evening classes (three nights a week) and I spend time with family at the weekend, so it's hard to arrange times to meet up. I often go out with DP and DS for meals, cinema and theatre but many of my friends work evenings or have study deadlines so it's harder to arrange anything. My evening classes are for my own interests/hobbies so I feel like I have quite a lot of leisure time.

beachyhead · 17/05/2011 22:22

We've started asking friends round about 5 - 9 on Sat, which is great as all the kids can come. We either do a barbie or I cook a big bowl of chilli, then the kids watch BGT or X factor and everyone goes home. Really suits us as no babysitter needed and doesn't impact on the rest of the weekend.....