to think that my nanny agency shouldn't have helped my nanny find another job behind my back?

[wolfhound]

Not sure if I am BU or not, but I am sure someone will tell me!

Our part-time nanny, who has been great and formed a really good bond with my two DSs (3.5y and 21mths), has just given her notice (after just over a year).

Difficult timing for us, as DC3 due in 7 weeks, and then both boys beginning a new pre-school in September. I was really counting on the continuity of our nanny to be a stabilising factor through all that.

Obviously that's my problem, not hers (she has decided she wants a full time job which is fair enough, though she did assure us when hired that she wanted this part-time role long term.) It's her right to look for another job and give us notice.

However, my beef is more with the nanny agency. The rep there has just rung me to get a reference for my nanny (for her new job) and to ask if we wanted them to find us a new one. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that I am their client, and they shouldn't be out there finding my nanny another job (while I am blithely unaware). They got a hefty great dollop of cash for finding me that nanny - now they're getting another dollop for passing her on to someone else, and want a third great dollop for finding me someone new.

Am I just being peevish because it's awkward for me? Or is this basically wrong?

Rebecca should all female childcarers, nurses, doctors, social workers, councellors etc avoid any work during their fertility years in case their clients get upset when they go on maternity leave?

YANBU The agency is clearly interested only in their next fee, and does not care about those who have already paid them. Dirty practice. I would just use nannyjob.co.uk. Much cheaper.

Also, next time, if you want nanny to stay longer, write an incentive into the contract. bonus? longer notice period? etc.

The agency is clearly interested only in their next fee, and does not care about those who have already paid them. Dirty practice. I would just use nannyjob.co.uk. Much cheaper

The nanny has been with the OP for a year - not a week!- and has handed in proper notice - what length of time in your opinion would be ok before she decided to leave then? And I just cannot see how the agency is only interested in their next fee - this is how nanny agencies work!

Enlighten me as to how for example an agency that dealt solely in secretarial work would operate. Are you saying it is common practice if the agency has placed a secretary with a firm and after a year she decides to leave, then the agency should not find employment for that secretary? That they should tell them out of loyalty to the firm to go somewhere else?

If you are looking for a part-time nanny to stay for the longer term, you may be better off looking at older candidates, who do not see your position as a stepping stone to something better - eg we employed a lady in her 60's as nanny/housekeeper 3 afternoons/week & she stayed for 6 years.

Rebecca - how would you like nannies to pay their mortgages and other bills? Do you think there's a special benefit out there that pays nannies a regular wage so they can sit at home while they TTC?

OP - I'm sorry you have to find a new nanny :( I don't think the agency did anything wrong/abnormal though - totally different if they'd head hunted her, but they didn't.

I wonder if the nanny is actually looking for a mortgage, and has been turned down because she doesn't have one full-time job? It's a long time ago now, but when my DC were little I had a lot of part-time jobs (a few hours a month bookkeeping, a few hours a week retail and so on) which added up to full time (and more!) but couldn't even get an overdraft. :(

Sorry, I realise that's not the point here, I just wondered.

OldLady - yes, you may be right. I know our nanny is intending to buy a house as I've given her quite a bit of time off over the last six months or so for interviews with mortgage advisors etc. So it may be that which is the issue. I can understand that, would just have liked her to talk to me about it.

seimum - yes, am thinking that an older candidate with a more settled lifestyle might be better, as more likely to stay long-term.

microserf - that's interesting that the employer would be liable for unfair dismissal if they sacked a nanny after a year and hired another one! Seems a bit one-sided, then.

I had a quick look at nannyjob last night, and actually saw a CV for someone who sounds perfect. Her CV was put up about 6 months ago, so she's probably employed by now, but it gave me heart. I have to get my work deadline finished next week, and then get down to crafting the perfect advert to entice the perfect candidate...

YABU. The agency did nothing wrong. As Valium said, this is common practice in other fields. When I was a temp (PA/Sec) I voluntarily left one or two jobs that I didn't feel were working out and just went back to my agency for another one. I know a Nanny's job is more emotive and involving, but Nannies still have the right to decide to leave and start a new job. It's not a crime and and it's not rude.

Perhaps she didn't talk to you because she didn't feel she could. Perhaps she had more personal reasons that she didn't want to tell you. I believe both she and her agency acted correctly. She gave in her notice to you, and asked her agency to find her something full time presumably so she could buy a house if she was seeing mortgage advisors. She can't stay in a job she doesn't want to stay in just to suit her employer. She is a client of the agency too.

YA Definitely BU

Of course nanny can join any nanny agency she wants to find a new job.

You are under no obligation to use the same agency though

Just wondering if you would be cross/disappointed etc (& all the emotions you are feeling right now) if you were the new employer to your brand new perfect Mary Poppins that was leaving a family after 12 months?

Somehow I don't think you would have a problem with it.

if you want to be guaranteed continuity of childcare then a nanny is not the way to go.

Fairydoll - that's rubbish and what would you suggest is a better option?

completely ridiculous fairydoll

what other form of childcare can and often does care for the child for their whole entire childhood, or at least for many many years. With the same person, in the same place (no room swapping)

Many nannies care for babies from tiny babies until starting school.... or until the younger siblings (who will have been familiar with nanny since their birth!) start school, and sometimes even longer than that!...
Many nannies stay 5+ years in their jobs and if thats not continuity of care then i dont know what is!.

When parents are reasonable people and respect the nanny, so long as nanny has no life changing circumstances, nannies dont (normally) hand in their notice, but continue in a job where they are happy!

What nannyL said. Our nanny has been with all her families a long time. She's been with us since DS1 was just a year and he is now 4 and we have 18mo DS2 who has been used to her from birth. Fabulous continuity of care, far better than any nursery with changing staff/changing rooms etc.

NannyL and flowery - a parent is the only guaranteed form of childcare.

not if they are absent /divorced/dont give a shit about their kids, type of parents fairydoll

i know many dads who dont see their kids as dont want to :(

so you can not say that a parent is the only guaranteed form of childcare.

I'm not really sure what your point is fairydoll tbh, unless you are saying no one should use any childcare at all, which of course is a view you are entitled to, although not especially relevant to this thread.

When you said a nanny is not the way to go for continuity of childcare I think most people assumed quite reasonably that you had some other form of childcare in mind as providing greater continuity. My personal view is that a nanny is more likely to provide long term continuity than a nursery or similar, and that is my own experience.

I actually don't think any form of childcare is guaranteed, and neither do I think parents are 'childcare'. If someone chooses not to work and to stay at home full time instead, they don't need childcare at all, guaranteed or otherwise.

Coming to this rather late (oi all you regulars, no one told me about this thread )

As a nanny if I were looking for another job I would go back to the agency which placed me in my current job. It's a logical thing to do, as the agency has proved to me that they can 'sell me' to local families and they know more of my history than an agency would whom I hadn't obtained work through before.

I've been in my current job nearly 3 years, the agency has not contacted me offering other jobs - they just wouldn't do that. Might happen in other industries but I've never known that to happen in nannying.

As the agency found someone for the job a year ago... why shouldn't they attempt to find someone again. Finding someone who will do 2 days a week which vary will I feel be tricky, as the person is unlikely to find other work to fit around those days given that they change.

A nanny may not want to talk to their employer about their personal financial situation - just like you may not want to discuss such matters with your employer. Financial pressures change from time to time, so whilst the job suited them a year ago, it doesn't do so now for whatever reason.

I feel YABU in expecting the agency not to help the nanny find another job, or for the agency to contact you once they knew the nanny was definitely leaving (and had told you they were leaving). Until they hand in their notice with you, the agency I feel should not tell you a thing, as if you knew your employee might be leaving at some future point, you may treat them differently or decide differently about the need for having a nanny. If you had contacted the agency with the view to finding a new nanny you wouldn't expect the agency to inform the current nanny, would you?

I feel the agency works for you when you are looking for a nanny. Once a nanny is found, the agency may help with any teething trouble over the first few months. After that I feel the agency don't get involved unless you, or the nanny contact them... at which point they may then help resolve an issue, or help you find another nanny, or the nanny another job.

i am just trying , rather clumsily, to point out that non-continuity is a hazard of using childcare

also parents can and DO die.... leaving behind children.

and MUMs can and do bugger off and leave their kids too (like mine did!)

No-one can guarantee to always be there, and a nanny is far more likely to offer continuity than any other form of paid childcare

yanbu - I thought it was good practice to encourage nanny to tell parent before finding new work if with same agency. Thats been my experience of agencies.

Anyone else had problems with Imperial?

What agency did you use? We had similar problems with Imperial. The manager does not even want to listen to us and she does not allow us to speak to the proprietor. is there time for some regulation in the sector?

yabu - the agency represents the nanny. She needs to find work - you need another nanny - they will help with both of those. If she has given you the proper notice etc I am not sure what you can complain about.

YA technically BU. Under the Employment Agencies Act, the agency is working on behalf of the nanny (or PA/chef/driver/whatever depending on the type of agency) and therefore their legal duty is to the nanny, not to the end client. It is occasionally a difficult one for agencies to reconcile, but the legal obligation on the agency will always be to do right by the nanny. There may be terms written into their contracts that forbid them poaching where they've placed people but, beyond the prescribed time limit, there is nothing to stop them placing the nanny elsewhere if she asks that they do so. And it is, BTW, illegal for agencies to charge people to be on their books, since someone raised that.

Having previously run an agency, had someone come to me saying that they wanted to leave one placement I'd found them and go for another, I'd have asked why because part of my job was matching the right people to the right vacancies and the reason for leaving helps make sure you get the next posting right and weed out both dodgy staff and dodgy end clients. But also because, for all the legal niceties, I would feel a moral duty not to leave my end client in the lurch and want to be able to either see whether things could be worked out such that the person stayed in their job, or make the transition as painless as possible if that wasn't an option.

Personal circumstances can change for anyone, and it may be that this new job not only has the benefit of being full time, but also, calculated on a pro rata basis, pays substantially more than the OP is currently paying her. Under those circumstances, and with the imminent arrival and expense of a newborn where presumably OP will be cutting her own working hours anyway, the nanny may simply have felt there was no chance of her job going full time if she asked, and that it wasn't reasonable to expect OP to match the other salary she had been offered. People do get squeamish about - essentially - asking for more money, and in the nanny's place I'd be particularly hesitant to be doing so just before my boss gave birth in case they thought I was using the timing to force it through.

I do think the nanny could have handled things better by talking to OP about the job applications and her reasons for looking elsewhere, thereby giving OP a chance to offer her full time work if she felt that was an option. And, to be fair, until the nanny starts the new job, she is still within her rights to change her mind so OP could still offer her full time work for the next few months and see if she can be persuaded to stay. Of course, if she's found her dream job, that one won't fly, but it has to be worth a try if only to cheat the agency out of another fee.