to think that my nanny agency shouldn't have helped my nanny find another job behind my back?

[wolfhound]

Not sure if I am BU or not, but I am sure someone will tell me!

Our part-time nanny, who has been great and formed a really good bond with my two DSs (3.5y and 21mths), has just given her notice (after just over a year).

Difficult timing for us, as DC3 due in 7 weeks, and then both boys beginning a new pre-school in September. I was really counting on the continuity of our nanny to be a stabilising factor through all that.

Obviously that's my problem, not hers (she has decided she wants a full time job which is fair enough, though she did assure us when hired that she wanted this part-time role long term.) It's her right to look for another job and give us notice.

However, my beef is more with the nanny agency. The rep there has just rung me to get a reference for my nanny (for her new job) and to ask if we wanted them to find us a new one. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that I am their client, and they shouldn't be out there finding my nanny another job (while I am blithely unaware). They got a hefty great dollop of cash for finding me that nanny - now they're getting another dollop for passing her on to someone else, and want a third great dollop for finding me someone new.

Am I just being peevish because it's awkward for me? Or is this basically wrong?

When I worked in HR, this was definitely not allowed by agencies. We had one agency that did this and they ended up getting blacklisted by us. They even had to find a replacement for the person they had nicked for free. However, that doesn't help you. However, I would be tempted to go back to the agency and say that you feel that they have been unprofessional and that if they want to replace her they need to do so at real cost reduction or nothing! Also, tell everyone you know what they have done so that they get a bad reputation. Shocking.

My DP has used agencies to recruit people. He finds agencies can be very cute at contacting the person exactly 1 year after my DP employed them.

The agency shows them jobs where the 'grass is greener'. Off they trot then the agency phones my DP up and says "hey, are you looking to recruit cos we have x,y,z who might be interested if you are ... And our fee will be x% of their salary."

My DP looks at CV's and if the individual tends to move every 1-2years then he presumes they hop jobs when the agency calls them so he avoids them cos the agency fees are huge. And as it's a niche industry he's in - word gets around.

I am sure your nanny is leaving for good reasons but that agency will be rubbing their hands with glee and being extra helpful.

If she had a good reason to leave and OP couldn't offer her the days/hours then why not talk about it? To apparently say everything is fine and tickety boo but then hand your notice in 7wks before you know you will be really needed is beyond shit.

The agency is in the clear legally as it's over a year since she was places. OK so times are tough, but I do think that it's not beyond the realms of thought to consider the practices here, considering the effects on the family, as sharp.

My old agency used to charge 20% of the final salary.

placed, not places.

But what is the OP going to say if the nanny talks to her about it? She doesn't want a FT nanny (I presume).

I'm intrigued by those of you in HR saying you would blacklist agencies that did this. So if an employee rang the agency and told them that they weren't happy in the role they had found them and could the agency tell them if there was anything else out there they might be interested in, the agency would refuse to do so? I find that very unlikely. Obviously if an agency headhunted someone they had already placed, that would be different.

YABU...it's not "your" agancy.

The OP could manage the exit, or interview others to take over. Not just like this.

The agency is complicit, they didn't have to be, but they were. This is not about widgets or grommets, these are families. They owe their client more of a duty of care than this somehow. they are within the bounds of the law, but it's still a bit It leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

I think this hinges on the fact that the nanny was going to leave anyway. From the agencies pov, they might as well make money from this, rather than have another agency make the money. If the agency had been instrumental in persuading her to leave, then I agree that would have been wrong. I also think that if she told you she was looking for long term, p/t work, then she would have told the agency the same thing, so they probably sent her to you in good faith.

I think your nanny has been less than honest with you. She has said that all is well and had committed to a long term job, and has now let you down. The thing is, no one tells their current employer when they decide to look for a new job. It just feels like a betrayal to you because she was in your home and working with your children. But, people have a right to find the work that suits them the most. It's unfortunate for you, but is one of those things.

I'd try to find a new nanny without using the agency. why py their fees if you don't have to?

Thanks everyone for their input. Yes, I do feel a bit let down - in that I would not have given my nanny notice shortly before an event where our support was important for her (e.g. buying a house) so it feels hard to be left in the lurch somewhat now. Had she talked to me about it, we might have been able to offer her full-time employment for a few months to at least get through the crunch period without disruption for the boys. I certainly have no intention of penalising her through references as she has done a very good job while with us.

Thanks also to everyone who has given tips about other ways to find a new nanny. I think I will try these first, as I don't feel well-served by the agency and no longer feel they have my best interests at heart.

Decent agencies (for nannies or any other employee) include a clause in their contracts promising not to approach the nanny they have recruited for a client nor to find the nanny another job within a given period which ought to be longer than a year.

"I'm intrigued by those of you in HR saying you would blacklist agencies that did this. So if an employee rang the agency and told them that they weren't happy in the role they had found them and could the agency tell them if there was anything else out there they might be interested in, the agency would refuse to do so?"

Many years ago, I wanted to leave and signed up with an agency to find a new job. The swines grassed me up and told my employer that I was looking to leave! Their loyalty was to the employer because that's the one who pays the fee (they were a big company so they got lots of fees from them). I never used that agency again (they seldom have exclusivity, so you can always find the same job through another agency).

OP, I think that, when giving a reference, it is important to tell the new employer how long the nanny stayed with you. Many, many parents want continuity. She may be great at the actual job but stickability is an important factor too.

OP, it's getting to the end of the academic year: will your local college have newly-trained becoming available soon?

Wolfhound, did you talk to your nanny when you told her you were pregnant about what her role was going to be while you were on mternity leave and how long that would be for? Also, you say that you made it clear you were looking for a long term nnny, did you mention you were planning a third child? You are of course under no obligation to but it may explain her decision to leave if the job has changed from the one she took on. Playing devils advocate, if you changed the goalposts on a huge aspect of the job maybe she felt it was 'ok' to not dwell on other aspects you placed importance on.

Generally nannies will be aware of the possibility of new charges being born while they are with a familiy but I have found lots don't think about it and when they see a job advertised just think, that's perfect for me, forgetting it can change. While most will love the thought of a new baby (if not the period where mum is on mat leave!) many may not. You mentioned this was her first job, maybe she doesn't have newborn/baby experience or maybe just does not enjoy that younger age as much as toddlers and older children.

Either way, she is entitled to go back to the agency and ask them to find her a new job and I don't think you can be annoyed at the agency for doing that, if they turned her away word would quickly get around other nannies and they would be going elsewhere to look for jobs.

I am confused by posters saying it's 'bad form' on the part of the agency. This is how every nanny agency I have ever used operates.

Perhaps that's why I never used an nanny agency, valium!
Why pay them a huge wodge of cash for a job that you can do yourself? It's not very difficult to stick an ad in the paper.

"Had she talked to me about it, we might have been able to offer her full-time employment for a few months to at least "

So why didn´t you tell her that?

Any way, it´s not her fault that a full time job has come up now-and how do you know that you wouldn´t give her notice "before an important event"?

TBH I think that nannies often get a raw deal-too much expected for too little on the basis of them loving your children.

(Not saying that that applies here)

Belle. Yes, told my nanny when I was pregnant (in fact she was the only person other than DH who knew before 12 weeks) so she has known for nearly 6 months - also that her role wouldn't change much, as I would be looking after the baby while on maternity leave, while she would continue with the boys, with her gradually taking the baby out for short periods on days when one or both boys were at nursery. It's similar to how things were when she began working for us (my youngest was 5 mths then). She was very excited about it, actually. I don't have the impression that it is due to the baby that she's leaving, but of course, I don't really know the underlying reason(s).

Diddi - we didn't discuss full-time employment because whenever I asked her about whether the job was suiting her, she always said it was perfect and she was loving it. I said to her regularly, that if anything was bothering her about the job, to let me know as we would try and sort it out. I have always been very flexible with her (I work from home so have more ability to do that) - letting her have days off at very short notice etc.

I don't think there's much to be gained from digging into the why's and wherefore's now. She is entitled to find another job, and she has. It's difficult timing for me, but we will get through it. She's been a great nanny and it is only the abrupt departure which is a problem.

Purits - yes, I was nervous of advertising before, because I felt that an agency would have done more checks and validations, and would help to sort out any problems. I feel less reliant on that now, so will look into alternative ways of finding a nanny.

Sorry you feel messed around. I am a contractor (different industry but just to show you why the nanny and the agency might do it this way), when I looking to relocate I went to my agency first. I trusted them, they knew what vacancies were out there, saved me doing the work searching myself, they could 'sell' me as a good candidate on my behalf because they knew me and they had a relationship with the new client. It was win/win for them because they could get the fees from the new job and possibly find someone to replace my old role.

Well I think a lot of people do just say that a job is suiting them-even if they are trying to leave.

And she may have thought that ft wasn´t an option.

Is it up to her to ask or you to suggest?

I don´t know.

But back to the OP, unless the agency have lured her away from you, then I don´t think that they have done anything wrong tbh.

And you don´t have to take them up on their offer to find someone else, of course.

I can see why you´re annoyed, though.

I don't understand what the agency did wrong as a nanny I have to contact agencies when I am looking for work. I peruse nannyjob etc and then contact agencies with my cv.

If I was looking either seriously or just seeing what was out there and saw my ideal job being advertised by the agency that placed me in my current job I wouldnt think that I shouldn't apply.

Sadly nannies are moaned about if they decide to move jobs yet our jobs are in a delicate balance (if a parent loses their job/decides to be a sahp/move house) and our bosses wouldn't think twice about doing what's best for their family leaving us without a job.

So is it the consensus that nannies can't use the same agency to get a new job if they placed them in the current position? What if it's the job of the nannies dreams/better suits their circumstances/has better work conditions than the current position?

Well, grabaspoon, I suppose the equivalent situation is if you were a nanny in a job that you thought was going well, and you suddenly got given notice by your employer (who knew that you really needed the job over the next few months, perhaps for a mortgage application or something) and found that your agency had already, without mentioning anything to you, got your employer a new nanny who was starting work shortly - then you might feel rather hard done by. Nothing illegal or outright sharp practice, but just all a bit upsetting.

I am sure that nannies are hard done by at least as often as employers are - it is, as some have said, such a personal form of employment that ending the relationship is probably never easy. I think, perhaps on both sides, that a 4 week notice period is tough, though obviously a longer notice period very restrictive, so no easy answers.

OP if you think a 4 week notice period is tough, learn from this and have a longer one written into the contract when you employ the next nanny. My last job had a 8 week notice period and my employers stressed how important this was to them so they weren't rushed into employing someone.

It might be a simple as your nanny is finding things really tough financially and has to look for full time work, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she has enjoyed working for you so far.

She is working out her notice presumably? If yes then as far as I can see neither the agency or the nanny have done anything wrong at all. Do you honestly think that there are nanny agencies out there that would not find a nanny another job if asked and have complete loyalty to the employers and turn away a nanny because she wanted another job (whatever the reason), because they would do themselves out of business in no time?

As for the agency fee, well that's just how it works, they aren't doing it for love. You could always do what was suggested up thread and advertise yourself.

I hope my post doesn't come across as snippy as it's not meant to :)

Why not put an advert in the Lady magazine? I found that much better than going through agencies.