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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To wonder why people let themselves get fat?

776 replies

Judgeywedgiepants · 17/05/2011 09:15

I am frequently amazed at the number of women at 15/17/20 stone who suddenly realise how fat they are and want to do something about it.
Why do people let themselves get so fat? It's unhealthy, unsightly and very life limiting.
Why not just keep an eye on your weight and keep it nice and steady?

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 22:18

Bugger - italics failed.
"DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE"

Ah - that's better! Grin

xstitch · 17/05/2011 22:19
Grin
fairydoll · 17/05/2011 22:21

For those of you who find it hard to exercise, what are the barriers for you?

laziness!

Seriously though, as you get older your metabolism tends to slow down and you need to adjust your eating and activity to compensate.

Olifin · 17/05/2011 22:25

Yes, that's true fairy and I think it's also true that older people are 'allowed' a higher proportion of body fat (and also usually look better....thin pensioners don't look as nice as the slightly portly ones :)).

Olifin · 17/05/2011 22:26

Speaking of metabolism; I think a lot of people f*ck theirs up permanently through dieting. :(

FannyNil · 17/05/2011 22:34

Judgey, if you know the secret of life, the universe, happiness and everything else please share with the rest of us.

foolserrand · 17/05/2011 22:34

As a recovered, deluded anoretic, I must say that being thin isn't all its cracked up to be. To diet constantly leaves your body malnourished (obv) and that, in turn, makes you depressive, irritable... a whole host of things that make you not only unhappy but unpleasant to be around. In short, I'd rather be fat than go back to how I was.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 22:50

Fairydoll - I have explained earlier on the thread why I find it hard to exercise, but will do it again, to save you the search.

I weigh 20 stone, or thereabouts. Assuming normal adult weight at around 10 stone, you could say that I am doing the equivalent of a normal adult carrying another normal adult round all the time! If I take a walk, I get backache before I get to the end of the road. I went for a walk with a friend - and it turned out the walk she'd planned was 4 miles - and that evening I could hardly move, my joints were so painful - and that went on for at least two days.

Olifin · 17/05/2011 22:54

SDTG It was me that asked the question; Fairydoll was quoting me.

Earlier in the thread, I suggested you could try Pilates or swimming. What do you think?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 22:56

Apologies for the misunderstanding, Olifin and Fairydoll.

I've never tried Pilates - I would definitely give that a go - do you have to be very bendy to do it? Swimming is a good idea too. And sorry for not answering you earlier.

intertoyz · 17/05/2011 22:57

It is really hard to exercise when you're carrying extra weight. There are lots of reasons for this, all of which are obvious if you think about it. Eg:

  1. You are literally carrying extra weight, so like an army guy carrying a weighted rucksack
  2. You are not at your most elegant when trying to run
  3. It is hard to take pleasure in your appearance when dressed in your gym clothes
  4. You are concerned that people might think you look ridiculous (in your gym clothes, trying to run). No-one on this thread would ever have that thought run through their mind, though.
  5. Progress is slow, so determination needs to be massive
  6. You will still be told you're overweight when you have lost tons of weight

There are lots of others.

Having a personal trainer really helps overcome these. But of course they come very expensive.

hairfullofsnakes · 17/05/2011 23:00

What a nasty thread to start.

Olifin · 17/05/2011 23:01

No worries, it's a fast-moving thread!

You don't have to be bendy for Pilates....practising it does make you bendier though! I think there are some good DVDs you can do at home. It's bloody good for the core muscles- your abdomen and lower back and can help you burn a few calories and build some muscle tone.

As for swimming...I really hate it personally but it's low-impact and presumably kinder on joints than walking or running.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 23:01

Intertoyz - you are spot on about exercise clothes. Sometimes it has been really hard for me to find anything to wear to the gym, and it does put me off going when I know that my huge belly is outlined by too-tight trousers and a short t-shirt. And when I did find some that fitted, in Evans, they shrank the first time I washed them so they flapped round my ankles and looked utterly stupid.

fairydoll · 17/05/2011 23:01

SDTG-I was speaking about my own reasons for lack of exercise not having a pop at anyone else x

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 23:03

I will look for a basic Pilates dvd, Olifin - doing it at home is a great idea. I have to admit to being a bit meh about swimming too - it doesn't feel like I am working that hard.

I have also seen that advert for the Wii fit, and thought perhaps that would help me.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/05/2011 23:04

I realise that now, fairydoll - sorry for the mistake and for any offence.

Olifin · 17/05/2011 23:04

intertoyz Some good points there but I expect a great many of us have considered point 4.

FWIW, I often see large and very large people in my gym/running on the seafront near my house and good for them. There's no need for me to think anything at all other than 'there's a person doing some exercise'. I would hope the vast majority of people would be the same.

intertoyz · 17/05/2011 23:05

On the plus side, SDTG, IME you do eventually get lots of positive feedback when you achieve visible results. And then you put it all back on again.
As others have said, swimming/aqua aerobics are good for underwater hiding.

intertoyz · 17/05/2011 23:08

Just for my own benefit - I'm quite surprised that on MN there's not more talk about emotional eating. And links to approaches that genuinely help with it.

Olifin · 17/05/2011 23:10

I think Wii Fit can be really good SDTG I know some people who use theirs religiously and have lost some weight with it.

JumpOnIt · 17/05/2011 23:11

Dear God, what a stupid thread to start.

Are you perfect Op?

I am constantly amazed at the number of women who can't stop smoking.....
I am constantly amazed at the number of women who wreck their livers because they can't control how much they drink.....
I am constantly amazed at the number of women who are incapable of sticking to the speed limit.....

I could go on and on but I will assume you get my point. And before someone harps on about herd mentality, I don't have a weight problem anymore since I had treatment for a thyroid problem. Or perhaps I was just lazy.

GnomeDePlume · 17/05/2011 23:17

SDTG I am a similar weight to you. I joined a local gym a couple of months ago. I deliberately go during off-peak so it is very quiet. Certainly at the gym I go to my flappy legged trousers go quite unremarked!

Like you I find impact exercises very painful. The exercises which are ok for me are:

  • cross-trainer type machines
  • exercise bike
  • rowing machine

I was very surprised how friendly the trainer at the gym was. She took me through the exercises I should be doing. Made sure I was setting up the machines properly and left me to get on with it. At no point did I feel that the trainer was in any way judging me. I was just an interesting problem for her to deal with!

nijinsky · 17/05/2011 23:30

David's Girl again, after a half marathon, your joints and muscles ache for at least two days. Its normal. Its called DOMS. The process of taxing your body and then recovery is how you bring about physical changes in it. It really is no pain, no gain.

Reading this thread, I can't help notice a few other things. Firstly, overweight people, rather than complying with the fat, happy stereotype, often seem quite unhappy with their weight. Or at least talk about it an awful lot. They also think they have the monopoly on physical struggles. And are people supposed to be extra nice to them and avoid upsetting them, while they tend to come out with relatively abusive comments to slimmer people without thinking ("thin", "thin faced", "men prefer curvy women", etc).

I don't know why I can't emphathise enough with fat people. I don't know why they can't empathise enough with slim people who exercise either. I suspect though its because I feel that being overweight is something you can do something about yourself in many cases, while there a lot of people out there who suffer illness and physical ailments that they cannot do anything about. I certainly find it easier to empathise with someone who is suffering with cancer, for example. I honestly don't find overweight people that interesting. I don't insult them when I see them (and wish that they'd extend me the same courtesy). I also wonder though whether the people that do comment on them do it out of concern and also because they don't want to identify with them as they don't want to be overweight themselves?

Stands back, waiting for sarcastic, quickly followed by smug comments and accusations of being "angry" and "lacking empathy".

JumpOnIt · 17/05/2011 23:34

Well, I would indulge you Nijinksy but I am not sure I can be bothered to dignify some of that with a response.

Grin