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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report a facebook photo of naked children?

77 replies

ednurse · 16/05/2011 23:13

This photo is on a friend of a friends account. Friend has been 'tagged' so anyone who is friends with him can see it.

Said picture is of a girl about 5 and a boy of around 2 in the bath (naked) standing up and leaning against the wall....bent over almost so you can see their behinds.

AIBU to report it? I'm all for photos of babies/toddlers playing in the bath being modestly covered but I think this is just ridiculous..

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 16/05/2011 23:14

why are 5 and 2 year olds any different to babies???

Original poster
ednurse · 16/05/2011 23:14

where I say 'bent over almost so you can see their behinds' I mean they are almost bending right over and you CAN see their bottoms and legs...

OP posts:
piprabbit · 16/05/2011 23:14

Why not message the poster and warn them that the picture can be seen by all and sundry.
Gives them the chance to remove the picture and improve their privacy settings.

Bohica · 16/05/2011 23:17

I agree with pip send the poster a message first, they may not be aware.

manicinsomniac · 16/05/2011 23:19

Depends. If it's the poster's own kids then yes, you're being unreasonable, it's her choice.

SouthStar · 17/05/2011 01:55

I had to ask my fil to remove a pic off facebook of my kids in the bath. It scares me but I dont think it is your place to report it.

Original poster
ednurse · 17/05/2011 02:00

I sent her a message, she's yet to reply.

It's not reporting it to the police or anything. It's just making FB aware so they can let her know. I'm just concerned that if I can see it then all his friends can as well....he has a lot of FB friends as he owns a piercing & tattoo place in my town.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 17/05/2011 06:08

Facebook won't let her know, at the most they will remove it & warm her not to post 'offensive' (not my take on it, but if you reported it, they will thing you think it is offensive) pictures again, at the risk of her account. At the least, they will leave it there (can't see that as likely tho)

Message her, make her aware of what she decides to do with it. It is her picture, assuming they are her kids, then she is free to post what she likes.

differentnameforthis · 17/05/2011 06:09

Message her, make her aware of the fact that you (and therefore others can see it & see what she decides to do with it.

Tee2072 · 17/05/2011 06:24

Oh FFS. What exactly is the problem? Innocent children in the bath or your belief that perverts troll facebook for such pictures to wank to?!?

Facebook will remove it. Just like the remove pictures of breastfeeding women because they are 'obscene' in their eyes.

Calm down dear.

cumbria81 · 17/05/2011 06:40

Jesus, YABVU. They're children. Naked. So what?

whatsallthehullaballoo · 17/05/2011 06:44

Yes - perverts do find these pictures and use them.

Paedophiles are not an urban myth - they do exist!! I know people are fed up of the scaremongering about it all but that does not mean we should be complacent.

Report the picture. I am sure I wouldn't want a pic of myself naked put on facebook at 5 years old.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 17/05/2011 06:56

so its fine to put naked pictures of children on the net (even on facebook) as long as they are your children?

Up until what age?

if 5 is ok, what about 6? 7? 8? 9? 10? What is the cut off? puberty? when the child is old enough to understand what you are doing and object? what's the upper age limit for it being ok to show others your child naked?

At what age does a child 'own' their own body and it's not appropriate for the parent to decide that they can display the child's naked body?

Now, forget about paedophiles. The idea that it is ok for someone to decide to display naked pictures of someone else is interesting. From my pov, you don't have that right just because the person happens to be your child. My sons are 10 & 12. I wouldn't display naked pictures of them. I am fairly sure it would be considered to be inappropriate. Would it have been ok 5 years ago? why? did I own my children's bodies 5 years ago?

I'm afraid I can't agree with the idea that it is fine to display photos of naked children cos it's innocent.

It may well be innocent, but is it your right to display naked pictures of another human being? regardless of age or relationship to you. I simply can't agree that it is.

manicinsomniac · 17/05/2011 07:37

Hmmm, you have a good point there, I hadn't really thought of it like that.

What about taking the pictures in teh first place though/ many parens take pictures of their naked children without their 'consent'. Do you think that's wrong too?

I'm not sure now.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 17/05/2011 07:51

i personally do think that's, i wouldn't say 'wrong', i would say not your right. it comes down to ownership of your body, right to privacy, right to dignity, who has control over your body. taking pictures of someone nude is a very intimate thing to do, imo, and only something that should be done with consent.

I do think that parents often think their young children have no right to privacy from them, dignity, that the child's body is not private, not theirs, iyswim. i think it's because we start out having to bath them, wipe their bums, they are born these helpless little naked things and we think they are
OUR helpless little naked things, so their nakedness is somehow ours to control. (not in a perverted way!) but it's ours, it's ok.

I don't see it that way. it would possibly be different if society did not demand clothes Grin if nakedness was a public thing. if the human body was not required by society to be covered. if we all went round nude from birth to death it wouldn't be an issue. but when society has required we are clothed and nakedness is considered to be a private thing, then do you have the right to control the nakedness of someone else?

Animation · 17/05/2011 07:57

Yes, forgetting about paedophiles- it's NOT OK to be showing your children naked to other people.

Firawla · 17/05/2011 08:03

i would report it, it doesn't sound an appropriate pic. i agree with hecate just because it may be their own child wouldn't make it okay anyway. also it sounds different than the typical baby pic in the bath were all you can see is a load of bubbles and a bit of babies upper body and head sticking out

MistressFrankly · 17/05/2011 08:19

Tee2072 i hate to say it but yes perverts really do trawl the internet. My DP works as a psych nurse and has confisacated pics printed from facebook, parenting mags, nappy ads you name it. It is hard to imagine as we see innocence but it is something to be aware of. All you can do is advise your friend but i personally dont put anything with my child online. I have pics of my dd in bath and have shown them to close friends and family (naughty monkey was covered head to toe in a black cream eye shadow she found) but i would not leave pictures in the public domain with no control over who was viewing them.

valiumredhead · 17/05/2011 08:23

I wouldn't report it as it's obviously her choice to put it on FB but I would NEVER do it myself - mind you I don;t have any pics on FB!

LiveLong · 17/05/2011 08:26

I agree wholeheartedly with Hecate. The children's mother may not, of course.

Callisto · 17/05/2011 08:26

Agree with Hecate. It seems so direspectful to post pics of your naked child for all to see. I wouldn't dream of posting a pic of DD naked, it just seems wrong.

Callisto · 17/05/2011 08:27

Disrespectful of the child and the child's opinions that is.

aldiwhore · 17/05/2011 08:30

Of course perverts trawl the internet. They sit in parks, they walk on the beach, they swim in public pools, they're everywhere. It'll be a cold day in hell before I deny my children their innocence just because someone gets their jollies from seeing children.

A pervert will have a wank over a picture of a child whether they're clothed or not. Maybe we should keep our children inside at all times just in case. The paedophile argument is one that does not figure when making my choices regarding photos.

On the other hand, I HATE this tagging malarky and how it works. However, if you post a picture on the internet it will be seen, if you're happy with that then that is fine, if you're not, don't post the photo's online. I also think that it is disrespectful to a child or adult to post a naked picture on such a viral website. I've sent my mum and dad pictures of the kids via email, and one of them included them being naked in the garden... its actually a beautiful shot... they're his grandparents and I did request that they didn't post it on face book... BUT they could show it to a friend of theirs who could in theory be a paedophile, does that harm my children? No.

As pp says, it could be a naked shot of any child, on a bag of nappies, ina parenting magazine... they will get their jollies anywhere, we shouldn't make our children the subject of shame, we should simply try to keep them out of harm's way.

Spudulika · 17/05/2011 08:34

"Yes - perverts do find these pictures and use them.

Paedophiles are not an urban myth - they do exist!!"

You can't police people's imaginations. There have been, there are, there always have been, people who will fantasise sexually about things the rest of us find repulsive or inappropriate. They will feed these fantasies from all sorts of sources, including what they see around them in the street.

As long as the children are not being abused in the picture or are at risk of assault or abuse then I don't see what the problem is.

Personally I find it heartbreaking that we see nudity in small children - whether it's on the beach, in our homes or in our family photographs, so troubling.

Animation · 17/05/2011 08:34

Valium - I don't think it's down to even having a 'choice.' It invades the child's privacy.