Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that Year 7 (1st yr secondary school) is TOO LATE to give "the talk" about puberty?

101 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 16/05/2011 23:08

Should this not take place in primary school? DD1 is 12, and I am pretty sure that most of her friends have already started their periods and are wearing bras. And a not insignificant number of them started their periods when they were 10.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/05/2011 13:30

alice So how do you NOT discuss it with them? More importantly, WHY wouldn't you?

What happens when they don't ask? Seriously, ds has never shown any interest. I don't hide sanpro, we do wander around naked (a bit - we're not naturists)...

Themumsnot · 17/05/2011 13:31

Our primary school does it in Yr 5 (and again in Yr 6). My DN started hers at 9 - secondary school would have been way too late.

seeker · 17/05/2011 13:31

5 would not let a child go into juniors without basic knowledge. Mine asked, but if they hadn;t I would raise the subject with them. They need to be armed with knowledge. Otherwise the gaps will be filled with playground nonesense.

reallytired · 17/05/2011 13:34

In our area the childreen get "the talk" in year 6 is repeted in year 7 and there is more sex education at GCSE.

However some teens are as thick as pigshit and don't understand the importance of contraception. Hence the high level of pregnancy and STDs among teens.

Themumsnot · 17/05/2011 13:38

Quote from DD2 aged four at the top of her voice in a shopping centre loo.
"Mummy what are you doing in there - a wee, a poo or the red stuff?
So that was when she got "the talk". (Not actually right that second, obviously.)

bonkers20 · 17/05/2011 13:41

Hmmm, yes those do seem natural questions. My son is certainly very curious, but he is also one to take things in his stride so maybe he just accepted what he saw. I was able to go to the loo in privacy at the age my DS would maybe ask about periods and prefer to do so. I don't leave my sanitary protection in the bathroom for anyone to see. I am not a prude, just private and a product of my upbringing I suppose.

He's seen sheep being born and seemed to just accept it.

I've never NOT answered a question and indeed we talked about everything in a very natural way when I was expecting DS2 when DS1 was 9.

I do think 7 is very young for a boy to know anything about periods. I don't think it harms them to know, but why do they need to at that age? They don't really.

maypole1 · 17/05/2011 13:44

really 12 to young their are children having babies at 10 so if anything 12 is too old i know you will say not my son but i feel evey parent would think it wouldnt be their child and yet their are children having sex

HaughtyChuckle · 17/05/2011 13:46

It is too late I was wearing brasat 8 and 'started' at 10 was far too late by then, I wasn't the only girl sat there thinking "why am I here?"

maypole1 · 17/05/2011 13:52

jenaimarrheplaysguitar just because a child doesn't ask it doesn't mean they don't need to know

or are you waiting to explain about sex after hes done it because their is no grantee he will tell you before hand.

the idea because someone hasn't asked they don't need to know is crazy my son never asked about his times tables but i am sure its something he needs to learn

its parents like you who wont educate your children who have sons who end up telling a girl condoms what condoms or telling them the half truths they hear from the play ground they they end up pregnant.

do all the girls he is ever going to sleep with from what ever age a favour and educate your child

inchoccyheaven · 17/05/2011 13:57

Neither of my sons ( 8 and 10) have asked how babies are made and only know how they get out by being in the room when one born every minute was on tv and I was watching it so explained what was happening, otherwise they wouldn't have asked that either. We haven't discussed periods but they have seen me naked plenty so know my body is different to theirs. occassionally I have tried to raise the subject but ds1 is just not interested in knowing, even when I gave him the Usborne book for boys he won't read it. ds2 has read it but I don't know how much he really took it, but I have always said they can ask me anything they aren't sure of so that is the best I can do.

When they are ready and when I notice changes in them I will try again.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/05/2011 14:02

He doesn't need to know about condoms right now, maypole. And if he asked, I'd tell him. He's 10 (and a young 10 at that).

He'll know before secondary starts - if they don't cover it in next year's sex ed dp and I will do the honours.

maypole1 · 17/05/2011 14:10

well thank god a rush sex ed job in the summer holidays i am sure any further parents of girlfriends your son may have will be well relived

any you say he doesn't need to know about contraception and sex right like i said when are you going to talk to him about it after hes had sex like i said your not going to find out in advance when hes going t have his first time or are you in the denial camp were their never going to have sex until their married and above the age of consent

its a fact that child who are educated early delay sex and are more likely to use protection or seek support if things so wrong.

its the uneducated and ill informed who get stds and girls pregnant

doley · 17/05/2011 14:10

maypolehas your son ever asked you about punctuation ?

I suspect he may need that too .

maypole1 · 17/05/2011 14:17

rather bad punctuation than a baby at 16 i know which one i would rather my son have.

you might want to spend a bit more time telling your children about the facts of life than worrying about my use of full stops

dementedma · 17/05/2011 14:17

Grin at doley

doley · 17/05/2011 14:22

maypole I haven't even spoken about my son yet Confused

You were talking to Jenai who very eloquently stated her opinion .

Unfortunately, you then farted out a very long selection of nothing !

maypole1 · 17/05/2011 14:28

i sure you havent shall i forward you the brooks number as i know at some point you and your family will need their services

bonkers20 · 17/05/2011 14:30

Ha ha ha maypole "its parents like you who wont educate your children who have sons who end up telling a girl condoms what condoms or telling them the half truths they hear from the play ground they they end up pregnant."

You think because my son didn't know about sex at age 7 (which was the point I was discussing with seeker) that he will be running around getting every girl pregnant?! You really think that?

My son is now 12 and we talk openly about such issues. He thinks girls are "yuk" still so I am really not going to sit how down, hand over a box of condoms and say "be careful my son".

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/05/2011 14:31

He's 10 maypole! And like I said, a young 10. I'll make sure he knows before secondary so he doesn't get the piss taken out of him for not knowing. I very much doubt he'll be impregnating anyone before then.

doley · 17/05/2011 14:32

maypole how clever of you to know how much of a sex ed my son has had . Confused still .

Big kiss darling ...

valiumredhead · 17/05/2011 15:30

We had the condom discussion the other week, where ds 9 told me EXACTLY what to do with one! Grin

ZZZenAgain · 17/05/2011 15:39

would have been too late for my dd

aliceliddell · 19/05/2011 11:49

if you don't tell your kids, someone else will. They get changed for PE in the same room at primary school and some of the girls will have bras and periods at age 8. My friend's son had precocious puberty at 8. So theoretically possible, he could get a classmate pregnant at 8.

valiumredhead · 19/05/2011 12:27

Interesting, I have only heard about early puberty in girls.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 19/05/2011 12:45

To be fair on myself, I have brought up the subjects of puberty and periods and the like, but not very comprehensively. But not condoms. I have no idea how to broach that subject right now.