to think that Year 7 (1st yr secondary school) is TOO LATE to give "the talk" about puberty?

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Should this not take place in primary school? DD1 is 12, and I am pretty sure that most of her friends have already started their periods and are wearing bras. And a not insignificant number of them started their periods when they were 10.

It's not 'too late' as it is covered in more depth in Year 7. At our primary school they cover the basics in Year 5. I imagine at most primary schools they do it in Year 5/6....?

They get it in year 5, it doesn't mean that it is never discussed again at school. Anyway surely school is just in addition to what you do at home?

I agree seeker

"seeker, do you mean a 7 year old or a year 7?"

I mean a 7 year old.

"I imagine at most primary schools they do it in Year 5/6....?"

This should be all Primary schools - it's on the National Curriculum. So any school NOT doing this is not fulfilling theri statutory duty.

You will have a letter about it from school-if you don't go in and ask-it should be year 5.

DD is at school in Belgium and I know they don't have any sort of sex ed. She is the fount of all knowledge in her class. Yesterday she was explaining to one boy what the menophase was. I told her it's the menopause, she shrugged.
At her school in Bangkok it wasn't done until the students were 13. One mum said she was keeping her DD out because she didn't need to know any of that filth.

Ours do it in Primary School Y4, 5 and 6.

But all schools are different and it is good that the Secondary school have done it now - at least the children who have had nothing so far get something.

We are slightly different as we are a middle school but we do puberty and changes Year 5, more detailed Inc. periods/tampons etc Year 6, contraception in Year 7 and more detailed sex Ed in year 8.

"But all schools are different and it is good that the Secondary school have done it now - at least the children who have had nothing so far get something."

The point is that all schools shouldn;t be different in this. There is a National Curriculum for SRE and it says very specifically what should be taught when. And puberty, periods and growing up is year 5 stuff.

Oh dear. i have already had a "sex talk" with DS (age 8) as he started asking about it (picked up the F word from playground, and wanted to know what sex is, and if it is o.k. to rub your willy against a tree as some of his classmates do (). So we had a calm and age appropriate chat about sex and willies etc. I will prob have some chats with him about puberty, menstruation, masturbation etc. when he is 10 (y5).

I would not leave it to the school.

I'd rather tell him in the safe and private environment of home, without the awkwardness of being with his peers.

Absolutely, Chandon - like all sensible parents. They need facts, not playground rumours and half truths.

I know, you are right Seeker, but it does seem very variable from school to school. And then some children miss it for whatever reason.

Of course all parents should be telling them all about it at home, but many do not feel confident to do that.

"Year 7 is as early as a secondary school can do this"

... because where I am, year 6 is still primary, and year 7 is the first year of secondary.

DC's primary school covers relationships and the human body throughout, and does puberty and the mechanics of reproduction in year 6.

But secondary schools, who have an intake from a variety of primary schools, surely need to start with a "back to the basics" lesson to ensure that everything has indeed been covered (especially if they have pupils moving here from abroad or who missed key parts of the primary curriculum).

We are not in UK. They do not get this talk in Primary school - the earliest it is mentioned is now - towards the end of 1st year secondary school. Of course parents should discuss this with their children earlier. My point was - and kreecher has confirmed - that some parents won't do this, so this is probably the first that some of these children have had "the talk." And I think this age - 11-12 is much too late.

In this circumstances, I completely agree with you.

I'd say age 10 is the latest (when mine had/will have those lessons, but I'd discussed it with them earlier), and ideally 8-9 (particularly for girls).

It would help the discussion MrsSchadenfreude if you said you were not in the UK in your original post. I think we are all in agreement that indeed it is to late but a lot of us are a bit as to why it wasn't covered in Primary school as is the norm. in the UK.

seeker what do you define as "basics"?

Basics.

Body changes. Male and female needed to make a baby. Roughly how it works. Importance of love and relationships. Only for grown ups. Where baby comes out.
Boys can love boys and girls can love girls.

Bonkers - my point is that it is too late at age 11-12 to cover this. Surely where I am is immaterial? And as I am not in UK, I wouldn't be aware that it is covered in the National Curriculum at primary school, would I?

I had the chat with my DD some time ago (and her father and girlfriend had also done so previously to that). She is in Year 6 and has this week started Sex Ed at school.

While I agree that most of those issues can be explained or discussed in response to questions naturally arising from a 7 year old, I'm not sure how discussions on body changes would arise much beyond "when you are grown up you will also have breasts" or "men have hair around their penis". I really don't think 7 year olds need to know about periods, erections or intercourse and I'm not sure how those would come up in family life.

"My willy's smaller than dad's - why?
"How do you make a baby?"
"What are those things on the bathroom shelf?"
"How will Aunty Mary's baby get out?"
"When will I have breasts like yours, mummy?" (never I hope, child )
"Look, what are those sheep/dogs/pigeons doing?"

Toddlers & babies cry if you go to the lav without them. If you take them with you they will see pubic hair, towels, tampons. Likewise if the see you getting dressed/shower etc. So how do you NOT discuss it with them? More importantly, WHY wouldn't you?

seeker I always thought I'd be the Modern Parent and have all that stuff explained by now (ds is 10), in response to the questions I expected to get. But other than the "Look, what are those sheep/dogs/pigeons doing?" he has never, ever asked! He knows humans, being animals, mate like other mammals. I think

(I mean I think he knows, not I think that humans mate!)

I am very, very grateful for them doing sex ed at school, basically. Otherwise he might never know and I would never become a grandmother...

BTW I did bring up the subject of puberty and he looked mortified. So much for the cool Modern Parent thing...

depends on the child, as far as parental input goes. DS is 9 and hasn't really shown any interest or asked any tricky questions yet.He has two much older sisters, but doesn't seem aware of what Sanpro stuff is for and doesn't seem particularly interested either. he'll get there when he's ready!