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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this a bit upsetting

65 replies

anotheracademic · 16/05/2011 12:26

Every time I eat at the table with my husband, he just gets up and leaves when he is finished. I have usually served his first so im a bit behind and then end up basically eating my meal alone at the table.
Its rather rude I think. I have mentioned it and he always has some lame exvcuse - tired and want to lie down, stuff to do, something on telly etc...

OP posts:
DontCallMePeanut · 16/05/2011 12:28

YANBU! We have a rule in my house, my brothers house and GP's house. No one leaves the table until everyone's finished.

My parents will also say no one starts eating until everyone's dinner has been served. Works for us

IAmTheCookieMonster · 16/05/2011 12:28

Serve yours first then!

elastamum · 16/05/2011 12:28

It is rude and it happens to me all the time with the kids etc. Dont give him his dinner until you have yours?

IAmTheCookieMonster · 16/05/2011 12:29

but yes, YANBU, that is really rude and I would have a massive hissy fit

Original poster
anotheracademic · 16/05/2011 12:29

He eats incredibly quickly anyway. Im slower.

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Original poster
anotheracademic · 16/05/2011 12:29

He also does this at xmas.

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 16/05/2011 12:30

Mmm. That would annoy me a bit. Sitting down and eating together is a sociable thing; eating on your own is a bit depressing. Would he compromise and do a proper sit-down evening meal if you both do your own thing at breakfast? (I have sympathy with on-the-hop breakfasts, I'm always dashing around first thing in the morning.)

SenoritaViva · 16/05/2011 12:31

Serve yourself, sit down start eating, then he can serve himself sit down and start eating. At least you get a head start.

IMO bloody rude though.

Original poster
anotheracademic · 16/05/2011 12:31

We dont eat breakfast together anyway....

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CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 12:31

Blimey - my kids have known, since they can even talk, that you should ask to get down from the table!

How fucking rude!! Angry

Ealingkate · 16/05/2011 12:31

I would just start walking off when he was in the middle of saying something. Then use the same lame excuses.

Paschaelina · 16/05/2011 12:32

YANBU. I dont put DH's plate in front of him until I am ready to sit down. Also he should be helping you tidy away or doing it all if you have cooked it all.

Not pissing off to suit himself.

ViolaTricolor · 16/05/2011 12:32

I think that's rude too. I am quite fixated on eating at the table together, though my DP likes a TV dinner every night. Even in that scenario, we'd never eat one at a time. Can't you serve both of you at once and then take both plates to the table simultaneously? Surely that's easier anyway?

FabbyChic · 16/05/2011 12:32

When I lived at home as a child you waited until people were finished. Now I have my own home, I don't expect people to sit at the table and wait for me to finish, you shouldn't talk whilst eating so what would they do? Sit and just wait?

worraliberty · 16/05/2011 12:33

Just put the food on the plates at the same time and bring them to the table together?

To be honest, if a slow eater served mine first I'd get a bit bored of waiting for them to finish too.

Original poster
anotheracademic · 16/05/2011 12:33

I just made him some soup and a sandwich. I put his bowl and plate down on the table and then poured my soup, got my sandwich and sat down. By the time I finished my soup, he was just about done with his sandwich. So he got up and left me eating my sandwiches. Bloody annoying.
I will get mine first next time.

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Nixea · 16/05/2011 12:34

Maybe he's not aware he's even doing it. I know that sounds a bit Hmm but I'm always amazed at what my DH can do without even thinking about it!

Next he he goes to get up, just try mentioning it and see what he says. He might not even realise it bugs you - even though the rest of us see it as basic manners. :)

LRDTheFeministDragon · 16/05/2011 12:34

You don't eat breakfast together - so he is just unable to sit through an evening meal?! Well, there's my one attempt to be all even-handed and suggest compromise gone. Grin

What curry says about her kids is right I think - didn't his mother teach him?

Who cooks, btw? If you cook, I think it's that much ruder of him to wander off in the middle of your meal, because you've made the effort to get it on the table.

Original poster
anotheracademic · 16/05/2011 12:34

Shouldnt talk while eating? what the? Meal time is for conversation surely.

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ViolaTricolor · 16/05/2011 12:34

Well with that menu I'd bring over two bowls of soup first. When they've gone, he can fetch both sandwiches.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 12:34

You shouldn't talk while eating?!?

Do you all sit in silance round your table fabby?! Shock

HorseWhisperer · 16/05/2011 12:35

Your husband should learn some table manners. In our house the following happens:

  1. no-one starts eating until everyone is seated, even if it is just DH and me. he waits until I sit.
  2. we all remain at the table until we finish eating - occasionally dc are excused earlier but this is is rare.

My DH eats faster than me but he always remains at the table and chats to me while I finish.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 16/05/2011 12:35

It is rude.

I have to admit though..... I sometimes say 'really sorry to be rude but....' and get up from the table because I want to sort the kid's room out before bedtime or put the washing away etc.

We are all really fast eaters apart from poor DC4. For ages we thought he didnt like his food then we realised he just didnt eat like we did Blush

We give him more time now.

MercurySoccer · 16/05/2011 12:35

YANBU

Original poster
anotheracademic · 16/05/2011 12:35

I do ALL the cooking LRD

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