To find this a bit upsetting

[anotheracademic]

Every time I eat at the table with my husband, he just gets up and leaves when he is finished. I have usually served his first so im a bit behind and then end up basically eating my meal alone at the table.
Its rather rude I think. I have mentioned it and he always has some lame exvcuse - tired and want to lie down, stuff to do, something on telly etc...

If you're eating together don't do this:

"I just made him some soup and a sandwich. I put his bowl and plate down on the table and then poured my soup, got my sandwich and sat down."

Put two bowls out, two plates out, put soup in bowls and sarnies on plates and then take it to the table together, sit down straight away. I don't think making lunch for someone is a big deal, particularly if it's the way you do things in your house, I don't know what your working arrangements are. Apart from that, speak to him about it. Maybe it's OK to be casual about a quick lunch, but I don't think it is about maybe Christmas lunch. Or if he does leave the table for that just say "Oh great, make a start on the washing up and I'll join you when I've finished".

blimey dont people get worked up about some odd things lol

it's extremely rude!

my DH eats so slowly you can time the digestion, but I don't get up from the table once I've finished! (unless I'm really bored or have other things to do...)
and when I do get up, I tell him what i'm doing.

Normally, we convrse, or I'll read something to him.

It's what you do in relationship, isn't it?

We dont start eating until everyone is served and then dont clear away until everyone has finished. Doesnt matter whether it's soup or a full roast the same rules apply.

PiL, when staying, used to start eating as soon as food was put down in front of them. They seemed oblivious to the fact that our 3 DCs were sitting waiting for DH and me to sit down! We solved this by setting the table but 'forgetting' to put cutlery down!

He's been working since 3am? Sorry but I think YABU, he must be knackered, I would give him slack on this instance, but doing at xmas and proper family meals is rude.

I don't agree with everyone waiting till everyone is served, though.

If you've got a big meal, or lots of guests, it makes no sense.

I think the slow eaters should be served first.

YANBU: very rude. It basically says your company is worth less than whatever he wants to do instead of sitting at the table talking to you. Maybe if you explain how it makes you feel he will stop?

Yes.howannoying..out at 3, in at 6.30, out again at 7.30 and in at 11.30. He does it every time though.

to think mealtimes are a time for families to catch up with each other and talk about their days?

this isn't a judgemental thread about not eating together - we don't always manage it, life intervenes and sometimes it's a question of grabbing something/stuffing something into the kids

but when we do eat together, we talk and it's one of the only times we get where everybody is available for conversation

my stepfather believed mealtimes should be undertaken in silence, he used to "let's have a bit less talk and a bit more eat" if an embryonic conversation started

the only sound permitted at "the dinner table" was him periodically roaring at one of us about our table manners

does anyone still do this?

I generally expect the kids to wait for me before they start unless I'm being a disorganised slattern putting the finish touches to something in the kitchen, I shout through for them to start

There's a lot of shouting in our house isn't there!? :o

lol sorry, I was trying to start a new thread about talking at the dinner table, so as not to derail this one!

will try again!

Fabby, dinner was always a social thing in our house. We'd discuss school, college, something in the news, rib Mum for her taste in music. In fact, as I got older, we'd often find ourselves sat up the table for an hour or so after we'd finished eating.

In our house we all sit down to eat together in the evening. This is when we all talk about our day. It used to be a battle ground of correcting table manners but the DCs seem to have got the hang of this (most of the time) so it is very enjoyable now.

No one leaves the table until everyone has finished and usually we stay sitting and chatting for twenty minutes after we have finished eating.

saidthespider- that was what it was like in my house growing up; mealtimes were a silent ordeal with grumpy parents staring at their plates. It is a wonder my siblings and I can string a sentence together.

When I go "home" to my mom's, nobody gets up from the table till someone complains the dining chairs are uncomfy. We sit chatting for HOURS. It is one of my favourite things EVER to do :o