To send DD to school with her homework not done?

[MumblingRagDoll]

She's in year 2 and every weekend is a nightmare...chivvying, threatning, wheedling and explaining about why she must learn her spellings, read her book and do her worksheet.

Today I have managed to get her to do less than half of what is expected. I feel that she should do it....she's on a full bursary at an independant prep. and I feel some pressure to get her to perform....I have not been TOLD that she must do well....but we were given a bursary (unconditional) when we almost left due to a massively bad year and couldn't afford it any more....they said she showed huge promise....she isn't even 7 yet and she's so fricking unbelievably stubborn.

I could cry. DH won't make her as he says "Send her without...let her get in trouble." but I as I said, feel some duty....AIBU to write a note to her teacher about all this or should I just send her with it all half finished and let her do the talking?

I spoke to her teacher who was very nice and understanding....she told me that at the moment I should let her do as she has been doing...which is squashing 2 or 3 of her spelling words into one sentence thus reducing the amount of sentences she has to write.

The teacher said that her main desire is to ensure the children know how to use the words within sentences....and DD has a good grasp of this generally and so to allow her to write less if it is upsetting her...she said she would rather have DD provide only 5 sentences and be stress free than 10 having screeched about it.

Yesterday I told DD she could write as many as she felt she could...she had to wite 5 sentences about her home....she did 3 with no bother and alone with no help....then she seemed to flag so I asked her "Have you finished or could you manage another?" and she said that was it....so I left it. She was much happier!

Thanks for the advice everyone!

Mumbling, that's good.

IMO, 3 sentences sounds enough for a 6 year old.

Yes....she's the youngest in the year. ANother month in the tummy and she'd be just the eldest in class 1....so it does maybe have some bearing.

I know there have been comments about children this young doing homework but some of my friends with older children that went to primary schools that didnt bother with homework were shellshocked at the ammount of homework in secondary school, whereas those who were set into that routine younger fared much better whith the whole change of school, fitting in and homework.

tricky one - I was a promising kid who always avoided homework like the plague, and squandered my promise except in the subjects I loved. So I think something needs doing early on in these cases to try to help the child realise how important it is to get the habits started early. My son is similar to your daughter - homework is a battle with him, and as he has only just turned 5 I have not been forcing him to do it, as I feel an hour a night is too much at his age anyway. But I have been giving a sticker chart for when he does do it, with rewards for achievements. He is also a very stubborn child who is strong willed, so I know how you feel :-( I just spoke to his teacher and said 'homework is taking three times as long as it should because he refuses to do it.' She said she would just make him do any he hadn't finished at playtime. This works well for us as he doesn't like to miss playtime and I don't feel frustrated by dealing with tantrums and avoidance tactics...