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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset by stupid comments on another forum?

94 replies

crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:11

Hi, I'm sorry, I probably am BU but I was really upset by the beheading of the poor woman in Tenerife. It just made me feel sick and she looks a little bit like my own mum and it really, really upset me and brought her own death back.

I posted on another forum about it and someone replied with a really stupid and insensitve comment. AIBU to feel upset?

OP posts:
working9while5 · 14/05/2011 22:12

You really have to give more information than that.

LordOfTheFlies · 14/05/2011 22:13

Surely when you get to the stage of a death of an innocent person doesn't upset you , you might as well hang up your spurs. ((((((((hugs for you,sorry about mum)))))))

worraliberty · 14/05/2011 22:13

Depends on the comment surely?

Original poster
crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:13

Just some stupid remark, nothing too terrible I suppose but just in context how much would "that's terrible!" have been?!

OP posts:
280169 · 14/05/2011 22:15

no yanbu i found it upsetting such a violent public and uneccessary death and so hard for her family to come to terms with

beckibicker · 14/05/2011 22:16

the internet isnt really for thin skinned people

there will always be 101 other people with a different/insensitive/irreverent/plain nasty thing to say

millie30 · 14/05/2011 22:16

YANBU, but unfortunately the internet gives revolting people the freedom and anonymity to say things that they wouldn't dream of saying if they could be identified. Best to just ignore it, they no doubt want attention.

ratspeaker · 14/05/2011 22:18

Ignore the eejits

There s a certain feel good light comedy that eveyone likes, I do too, but its hard to watch as one of the actresses looks like my mum
It hurts but has to be tholed
unkind comments on the internet dont, they're a whole lot more personal but you can and should ignore the twunts and the threads

Original poster
crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:18

yeah you're right becki, I suppose with a troll I could have ignored it but it was a "normal" poster who just clearly didn't give a shit :(

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 14/05/2011 22:20

Well, tbh, I am not going to judge until you say what you posted and what she replied.

TidyDancer · 14/05/2011 22:20

One of my Facebook 'friends' prefaced a comment about the poor lady with "haha, I know I shouldn't laugh....". Frankly, I was stunned. Mind you, this is the same person who also said "Madeleine McCann has become popular again", like it was some kind of contest. It beggars belief really.

lubberlich · 14/05/2011 22:20

I agree with you about the murder of the woman in Tenerife - and the almost gleeful recounting of every gory detail by the bloody media. The whole thing is incredibly disturbing and I can't get it off my mind. And anyone making insensitive comments about that is obviously an arse.

But allowing some twat on a forum to upset you is pointless. I'm afraid that if you play the "posting on public forums game" then you have to be prepared to encounter nobheads. Just ignore them. Your Mum wouldn't want you to be upset.

beckibicker · 14/05/2011 22:21

i saw some quite nasty comments on twitter the other day - i guess they are entitled to say them, not much you can do except shrug and move on

Original poster
crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:21

I would pagwatch but I'm worried about being recognised Grin It wasn't a nasty comment that made light of it but it showed interest in the actual process with zero shock, sympathy or well, humanity I suppose, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Original poster
crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:22

Tidy - OH MY GOD :(

OP posts:
CointreauVersial · 14/05/2011 22:22

Don't let it upset you. Walk away (in an electronic sense), and ignore the faceless idiots.

The Tenerife incident is a horrible thing to happen to anyone, and is bound to bring home certain emotions for people who have lost loved ones.

AgentZigzag · 14/05/2011 22:23

YANBU to feel upset at the remark, but you said it yourself in the OP, the comment was stupid and insensitive.

Did you tell the poster they'd upset you?

How did they react if you did?

Original poster
crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:23

I didn't - it's a wee bit cliquey over there ;) and she is in the In Crowd. I'm thinking of leaving anyway, I really don't like it. Here is better. Yay. :)

OP posts:
TwoIfBySea · 14/05/2011 22:24

It was the thought that the family would have the mental image of their mum's head being carried about by the maniac would be horrible enough.

Some people are unable to convey empathy hence the jokes!

TwoIfBySea · 14/05/2011 22:24

It was the thought that the family would have the mental image of their mum's head being carried about by the maniac would be horrible enough.

Some people are unable to convey empathy hence the jokes!

Pagwatch · 14/05/2011 22:24

Well fwiw I am sorry you are upset.
But can't usefully judge as you can't reveal what was said.
I am sorry it is difficult for you

TidyDancer · 14/05/2011 22:26

I know, crashing. :( Horrible. I was tempted to say something, but didn't really know how to put my utter disgust/shock into words.

MumblingRagDoll · 14/05/2011 22:26

I think it was awful. So awful and I really feel for you OP. Try to disconnect...when you connect that poor lady to your Mum, think of your Mum in a happy memory instead and remeber that lady in Tenrefe has gone to a better place now. She isn't hurt anymore.

I think there has been a shift in reporting styles here in the UK...and very recently. It has gone more American and you know what they are like....they get on the scene of murders and film everything. Try to avoid those stories...I do.

worraliberty · 14/05/2011 22:27

What Pag said Sad

Original poster
crashingwaves · 14/05/2011 22:31

Thank you xx

I do wonder if the increase of violence on TV and computer games has made people "harder"? I don't know ... It's just when I hear things like that I always imagine what if it was one of my parents, children, friends, colleagues - how would I feel?

One of my friends lost her son when he was just a year old and it was horrifically sad but she said one thing that did help her with the grieving process was that the hospital were wonderful, there was nothing they could do so he just lay in her arms until he passed away and it was just like rocking him to sleep.

I could (have) coped with people I love dying but them dying in such an awful way I would NEVER get over - that poor family.

OP posts:
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