to be upset by stupid comments on another forum?

[crashingwaves]

Hi, I'm sorry, I probably am BU but I was really upset by the beheading of the poor woman in Tenerife. It just made me feel sick and she looks a little bit like my own mum and it really, really upset me and brought her own death back.

I posted on another forum about it and someone replied with a really stupid and insensitve comment. AIBU to feel upset?

Perhaps she was a bit about you hijacking this family's tragedy, making it all about you and starting a thread to generate sympathy for yourself off the back of it?

How was she hijacking the familys tragedy bibbity?

The OP's not said she mentioned her loss on the other forum, and she didn't say anything to the poster afterwards.

Unless she said something she's not posted about here yet, the only place she's said why this terrible murder has struck such a chord with her, is on this thread.

That doesn't make her exploiting the death for her own ends to me, she just wants to discuss how it made her feel.

Or are you suggesting that's inappropriate in some way?

I think you may have a point there, crashingwaves, about the desensitisation (that's not even a word, is it?) of society to violence. I sound "hard" when I am not shocked by violent occurances, but it just happens too often now to be really, really shocked at it. However, we should be careful not to tar people with a high shock threshold as uncaring or insensitive.

The Tenerife thing has played on my mind all day, mainly thinking about the woman's family and how they will recover from losing her in such an awful, awful way and how I wished that the media would NOT recount her murder in such detail. I think I would have to be sedated if that was my mother. I feel terrible for her family and I hate that stuff like this goes on in the world but unfortunately, I'm not shocked by it any more.

What I would say, but it's difficult to judge without knowing what was said, if this poster was undoubtably being offensive, tell her. Don't worry about her being in the "in crowd". She's in a clique on the internet which is pretty pathetic anyway, but don't feel intimidated. You don't need to be rude, just say something like "Actually, I think that's really off-colour."

How the fuck is she hijacking anything?

Bibbity, I didn't at all, I didn't even mention my mum on the other thread - it was literally "oh my god have you seen this, how awful"

I think that's a really nasty comment actually, I know that opinions, different ones, are welcome here but that wasn't an opinion it was just being unpleasant and I really don't think I did anything to deserve it, to be honest.

"Perhaps she was a bit about you hijacking this family's tragedy, making it all about you and starting a thread to generate sympathy for yourself off the back of it?"

I didn't get that that was what happened, rather that the OP was saying here rather than there that it brought back some sad memories for her.

Hey bibbity
How are you sweetie
I hope Thursday went ok. I was thinking of you
X

Am Ok thanks Paggy. Got through it. The rain lashed down for the precise 15 minutes we were at the graveside, otherwise it was sunny all day. Incredibly dramatic. Also, one of the guests got lost in Guildford and ended up following the wrong hearse (another funeral) but realised in time and made it to Shamley Green. My dad would have found that hilarious!

Re the op: I was just thinking what it could be to cause a person to make a stupid and insensitive comment to the op on the other forum.

She said "I posted on another forum about it" which I took to mean her upset and the thoughts about her own mother.

It was a suggestion, hence the ? at the end of my post.

That was a bit harsh tbf Bibbity, empathy is relating a situation to oneself and that is all the op has done.

Cross posted there.

I suppose if you post on this type of thing you will, as with another subject, get mixed reactions. I fail too see the humour in it though, it was horrific and disturbing beyond belief. I used to have a friend that sent me text messages after every death/tragedy in the media and some of them were sick - needless to say I told him to stop bloody sending them in the end!!!

Talk about hijacking someone's symathy Bibbity! I am sorry you had a bad time and lost someone but then maybe you should offer empathy.

I am seriously . I thought op said this other poster wasn't joking about it?

Was replying to Pagwatch.

Glad it went ok. The rain thing sounds very dramatic!
If you have a decent day, if you feel in tune with it, I think that helps. A bit

Serious passive agression shown on the thread.

Agree with mumbling.

SecondComing - I don't know really, I suppose sometimes, something does just shock you and frighten you, I just don't know.

In context, it was a "chat" style thread, you know the ones where everyone talks about little things that aren't worth starting a thread about but that it's nice to share? and I heard it on the news and said something like "oh my god has anybody else seen this, how terrible" and immediately this other person (who is not a 'regular' on that particular thread, not saying you have to be or anything) came chiming in and said something like "yuck it must have been disgusting with blood and body fluids all around food" prompting other "eww" type comments - yes it is disgusting but it's hardly the most important thing compared to a life.

hope that makes a little more sense now?

Mumbling

I asked the question
If you have an issue, which you don't, it would be with me.
Fucking ironic on a thread discussing empathy!
Jesus

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease stop fighting.

Come on everybode, it's the weekend! I'd like to teeeeach the world to sing...

They just sound like a big twat crashingwaves, stay here :)

Fucking hell

I am sorry bibbity.
This is the first time I have seen you on mn since Thursday. That is why I asked.
I am sorry that has exposed you to small minded comments.
Pretty unbelievable to me, but the you go.
Sorry bibb