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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

not unreasonable but so scared

53 replies

atosilis · 13/05/2011 21:44

I went out with 2 friends for the first time in ages. I went to sit down as I was tired and they were still dancing. I hadn't had a lot to drink and there are photos of me looking completely normal. I can remember agreeing to a drink with a group round the table - then blank. I woke up the next morning in some bloke's bed, he was waking me up telling me to go home before his flatmate woke up. I couldn't get out of the building and had to wait for a woman to come down the stairs and press a buzzer, she took me to a cafe and got me a cup of tea, told me how to get a train. I try so hard to remember what happened and nothing. I'm convinced I've got every lurgy going and can't get it out of my head. I can't tell my friends, I just told them I was tired and went home early although they were trying to ring me all through the night. My husband is coming back from a business trip tomorrow and I am petrified.

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 13/05/2011 21:46

go to the police.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 13/05/2011 21:47

Agree with DF

NulliusInVerba · 13/05/2011 21:47

Did this happen last night OP?

Please call the police.

Hope you are ok :(

FurKnickersAndNoCoat · 13/05/2011 21:47

yes, as above, police immediately. you did NOTHING wrong.

Happymm · 13/05/2011 21:47

Police and get tested for everything. Poor you :(

JemAndTheHolograms · 13/05/2011 21:47

Shit! Poor, poor you. When did it happen? You need to get to the police ASAP and get tested. I'm so sorry you went through this.

thisisyesterday · 13/05/2011 21:48

omg that's awful! do you think you should go to the police? i would, if you suspect anything happened....

and go to a GUM clinic too and tell your husband!!

and most importantly remember that this is not your fault, you are a victim here and you should not feel afraid to tell people about it :(

DameShirleyKnot · 13/05/2011 21:48

You poor thing. Call the police darling.

purplepidjin · 13/05/2011 21:49

Ditto above. Get checked over. If you haven't washed yet, don't

Finallyspring · 13/05/2011 21:49

When was this ?

ashamedandconfused · 13/05/2011 21:50

ditto what everyone else said, and a big hug for you

MadamDeathstare · 13/05/2011 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mollyfloss · 13/05/2011 21:50

You should definitely go o the POlice immediately and tell your husband. You did NOTHING wrong and you need to be tested etc.

Zondra · 13/05/2011 21:50

Please call the police.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
My heart goes out to you.

atosilis · 13/05/2011 21:50

I can't go to the police, I wouldn't have a clue who to describe or even where they lived. I do know that I just have to go to a clinic and get tested and keep my fingers crossed. I don't know how I'm going to tell my husband after 2 weeks away that I'm not in the mood.

OP posts:
jenga079 · 13/05/2011 21:50

Police. Or Samaritans (not just for suicidal people, they can help in all range of situations)

You did NOTHING wrong. Tell DH. Don't deal with it on your own.

squeakytoy · 13/05/2011 21:52

You do need to go to the police. The club will have cctv.

atosilis · 13/05/2011 21:53

It was last Friday and I have been ignoring it for a week, if I don't think about it, it didn't happen. My friends were on the verge of calling the police when I answered my mobile and said I'd gone home early.

OP posts:
tazmosis · 13/05/2011 21:53

Ring your closest friend, tell them what has happened and ask them to go with you to the police station. It sounds horrendous, but you've done nothing wrong. Be brave.

InAStateOfReflux · 13/05/2011 21:54

Please go to the police.

NulliusInVerba · 13/05/2011 21:54

OP it dosnt matter that you dont know their names.

Many bars and clubs have CCTV nowadays.

There is a helpline you can talk to and the name has escaped me!! someone will know it on here and i will go google it for you.

Im not saying you definitley have been assualted. But its possible. They will help you talk through what you want to do.

DameShirleyKnot · 13/05/2011 21:54

Call rape crisis

They will help you. Please call them. I totally understand your reluctance to call the police, please call rape crisis who will be able to talk you through things.

jenga079 · 13/05/2011 21:55

Cross posts.

Of course you can go to the police. Not being able to remember is not your fault. The club may have CCTV. You can tell them which cafe the woman took you to and may be able to work out from there where you were.

But... If you don't feel you can tell the police then please phone Samaritans (08457 90 90 90)

And tell DH the truth.

thisisyesterday · 13/05/2011 21:55

you can go to the police sweetheart... they may be able to help you remember bits and pieced.
what cafe you went to for example? where is it? how edid you get home? all of those are clues as to where the flat is, and then they could maybe find the lady who helped you

atosilis · 13/05/2011 21:57

Thanks for all the support, I just needed to hear that it wasn't my fault. I'm just going to get sorted and let it go. There is no way on this EARTH I'm going to tell my husband, I will never get out again - not even for coffee

OP posts:
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