Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH I am getting a cat no matter what he says?

84 replies

MumblingRagDoll · 13/05/2011 10:13

We have 2 DC....aged 3 and 6. Both DH and I love all animals...he especially likes dogs and I have always said I wanted a cat before we got a dog as it works best that way. He has remained ambivelant about it.

Now I have the chance to rescue a beautiful Siamese...he is putting up barriers.

He says the cat will fight with the neighbours cats and it will leave hair everywhere....wtf? Cats and dogs DO leave hair in places and this is part of having a pet.......I just told him that this is something I have always wanted and that I want to get the cat.

He says "No, no...I'll find you a nice dog...don't get the cat"

I can't see why he's doing this? We often look around for suitable dogs and have not yet found the right one for us....but I have found the right cat....why is he being a pain? I have told him I AM going to see the cat today and that if I like it I will tell them that I want it.

Arse! I am an adult, I had no present for MOthers day or my Birthday and I think he needs to let me get the cat. I have also agreed not to have any more DC....even though I would like three....he doesn't feel he can cope with another child so fine! I'm getting a cat.

Angry
OP posts:
Ormirian · 13/05/2011 12:13

I'd love a siamese. Wonderful creatures and more like a dog than most cats IME. And you are right that it should be established in the house first so iot can put the dog in it's place when it arrives.

Ormirian · 13/05/2011 12:14

Hurray!

Please post some pictures when you get him Grin

HerbWoman · 13/05/2011 12:16

That was the sort of thing I meant, Mumbling. Glad he's changed his mind.

Jennytailia · 13/05/2011 12:40

Rightly or wrongly I had to do bumsex to get a puppy.

Can I suggest you do similar?

Jennytailia · 13/05/2011 12:41

Just read the rest of the thread, no need for bumsex!! Bravo!

PrincessScrumpy · 13/05/2011 12:45

I'm a big cat fan and dh and I work so a dog isn't right for us - I'm also very nervous about dogs around young children. My whole family has cats so dh knew we'd end up with a cat at some point. He is allergic (mildly) as is his mum, but DH is also allergic to grass and is still happy to sit in the garden. We got 2 cats (sadly one died) and he has been so taken by how friendly she is and also much less work than a dog (his words). We still plan to get a dog in the future (probably when kids leave home - dd1 is 3 and our dtds are still cooking in my tummy so that's quite a way off).

Having said that - dh is a bit under the thumb (he loves it Grin)

Original poster
MumblingRagDoll · 13/05/2011 15:55

Been to see the cat....it has turned into catS! His brother is now also homeless...it is all very odd and the cat home say their owner is perhaps suffering some mental health issues...he has left the country and handed the cats brother in!

I am having both.

DH knows and it's fine....the cats love one another and were ecstatic to be reunited so theres no way they can be separated.

YAY! They're GORGEOUS! They go MEEEOW! MEEOW! MEEOW! when you are not stroking them enough....and look like Hmm that if you admire the other one too much....cannot wait!

Jenny I do feel bumsex was a step too far Grin fake tears were less....uncomfortable!

OP posts:
Original poster
MumblingRagDoll · 13/05/2011 15:56

Omirian I will post multiple pics of them....they're really stunning.

OP posts:
hairylights · 13/05/2011 15:57

Yabvu. It has to be a joint decision.

treas · 13/05/2011 16:05

I actually feel that MumblingRagDoll is being the arse and not the Dh.

A dog was at least something the op and husband both wanted. And the last couple of post make op sound like a spoilt child.

Bluegrass · 13/05/2011 16:09

OP - are you a teenager? Just wondering as you sound very stroppy and use fake tears to get your own way!

If any partner of mine behaved like that I'd be rather worried, and if it got to the stage of bringing an animal into the home without my agreement either them or the animal would be leaving pretty sharpish!

Original poster
MumblingRagDoll · 13/05/2011 16:15

Ah whatever! You know nothing of my relationship...and I don't hve to justify myself. He was being controlling. He wnted a dog before we got the cat....that is all there was to it. He loves cats and is excited (now he is sure t will be me who cleans up the litter tray]
Bluegrass Chill out! fake tears was me being a bit funny..they were quite real and borne out of frustration.

OP posts:
treas · 13/05/2011 16:17

He was being controlling - what do you call your behaviour!

issey6cats · 13/05/2011 16:18

mumbling fantastic they sounds lovely i have a brother and sister my middle two and they are fab together its like one cat with two heads they are joined at the hip, all the best with the home check

HeadfirstForHalos · 13/05/2011 16:19

I would simply tell him unless you can have the cat, he is not allowed a dog.

Relationships are about blackmail compromise, however silly the "problem" appears to be (to others).

Bluegrass · 13/05/2011 16:20

If you don't have to justify yourself what ask AIBU? Anyway, i'm afraid adults acting like spoilt children set my teeth on edge. Still, you got what you wanted and in no way could your behaviour ever be called "controlling" ;)

HeadfirstForHalos · 13/05/2011 16:21

whoops, I should try reading the whole thread Blush

Glad you are getting cats and without the bumsex too

bigbuttons · 13/05/2011 16:32

This is all hideously childish

QueentessentialExcel · 13/05/2011 16:33

I think you should adopt a goat instead.

cassierosse · 13/05/2011 16:38

Many congrats Mumbling on the 2 new additions to your family ! Grin

May I suggest for your next kitten/s, Wink you consider a couple of your namesakes, which I can personally recommend. Smile

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 13/05/2011 16:40

It was always a no-brainer, Mumbling - that cat was born to live with you.

TobyLerone · 13/05/2011 16:43

Yes, YABU and childish.

diddl · 13/05/2011 16:49

Why does it matter in which order you get them?

You both sound as bad as each other tbh.

You seen a cat first, so get it, then get a dog when you see it.

kaid100 · 13/05/2011 20:00

I think that really both of you have to agree if you are going to bring an animal into your home, it is his home too after all. If what he really wants is a dog, why not get a dog and a cat? If you get a puppy and a kitten, they'll get on and not fight.

vajazzhands · 13/05/2011 20:04

YANBU Get it. Don't let it hassle your DH though as that isn't fair. You make sure his litter doesn't stink and he isn't a wall pissing kind of cat. WHy does he need rehoming