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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to ask how often you have sex?

76 replies

cannydoit · 12/05/2011 17:22

if you are married or in a long term relationship. my BF was in a 10 yr marriage were they only had sex twice a year if he was lucky unless she wanted a baby. he says this is quite common he said it was mostly down to her, but takes some of the blame in the end because he just got fed up of being turned down.
i find this to be an alien concept. was married for 10 yrs myself we had sex on average twice a week until things got bad. any info, insight? my bf seems to think its the norm for women to with hold sex i wish to prove him wrong lol.

OP posts:
Watertight · 12/05/2011 18:06

Me too, Malificence and cannydoit

Last month, when I ovulated, I had four orgasms in one day Shock

missmiss · 12/05/2011 18:08

4/5 times a week. That said, we've only been together two years and don't have children - I'm sure it would be less in different circumstances!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 12/05/2011 18:12

Not very Wink

Malificence · 12/05/2011 18:12

I'd happily have sex every day but when I'm ovulating DH thinks I'm trying to kill him. Grin
I'm making up for my thirties when my libido was on the floor.

extremepie · 12/05/2011 18:20

If we could, my DH and I would have it every day, twice a day sometimes! Obviously kids in our bed does put a damper on things....

diabolo · 12/05/2011 18:22

2 or 3 times a week for me, might not always be full sex, but enjoyable IYKWIM.

Sometimes we have it 4 nights in a row, and then nothing for 2 weeks - depends on how busy, tired we are.

Horses for courses.

IlsaLund · 12/05/2011 18:30

We've been together for nearly 20 years and have sex on average twice a week during term time.

In the holidays it's a lot more.

jugglingjo · 12/05/2011 18:33

I think to keep talking about women "withholding sex" is a bit worrying.
Surely it's something which happens when both partners want it to.
The phrase reminds me of my MIL talking about never refusing her man ( she didn't say this to me though, it's just something I heard she'd said, probably from DH, but not in a pressurising way or anything )

Having said that I do make some effort to be in the mood sometime over the weekend, generally after sharing a nice bottle of wine together, and possibly watching some comedy on the old box. Wine Wink

EricNorthmansMistress · 12/05/2011 18:54

Loads Grin when we're in the same country that is...

Seriously, your bloke is slightly traumatised by his recent not great relationship. It's very common and happens to pretty much everyone after a break up. After a few more months with you Wink he will get over his sex stuff no doubt.

Hey shall I bring A up to yours after lunch tomo? I do half days on fridays now. (Not stalking you honest but I always open the sex threads Grin)

Original poster
cannydoit · 12/05/2011 19:05

ericcccccccccc sure shall be walking like a cowboy no doubt cos its my hospital app tomorrow (mild nerves).
shall be back by about 12-30 1ish so after that will be cool. stalk away lovely. aibu is my new fav place lol.

OP posts:
EricNorthmansMistress · 12/05/2011 19:08

Have you got G? I'll come up after that.

Original poster
cannydoit · 12/05/2011 19:13

yep they can play merrily.

OP posts:
withnailnotme · 12/05/2011 19:16

I haven't had sex for over ten years

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 12/05/2011 19:23

my bf seems to think its the norm for women to with hold sex i wish to prove him wrong lol.

If you wish to prove him wrong, just have lots of sex. Maybe his DP wasn't witholding sex, maybe she just didn't fancy it because she didn't fancy/love him anymore. The relationship ended so there must have been problems, she may have had a problem with how things were for longer than he did.

pjmama · 12/05/2011 19:26

This thread is depressing me! 3 or 4 times a year if I'm lucky Sad

DandyLioness · 12/05/2011 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
cannydoit · 12/05/2011 19:27

yeah ding that is the obvious thing to think but then why get married to him? they didnt have sex on there honeymoon at all, its all very strange i feel.

OP posts:
Original poster
cannydoit · 12/05/2011 19:30

dandy oh my god!

OP posts:
Original poster
cannydoit · 12/05/2011 19:31

sorry pj wasnt meant to depress

OP posts:
Al0uiseG · 12/05/2011 19:35

pj, not good :(

magicmelons · 12/05/2011 19:36

3 times a week but now that i'm pregnant again most days. We have been late for school a lot this week Blush dh can't believe his luck.

Original poster
cannydoit · 12/05/2011 19:38

yeah i do miss that about being pregnant, wanting sex all the time.

OP posts:
magicmelons · 12/05/2011 19:38

Liz Jones's dh clearly wasn't doing it right Hmm

AngryFeet · 12/05/2011 19:40

Apparently so - see the stats bit fixyoursexlessmarriage.com/ and I have read it elsewhere in the past.

AngryFeet · 12/05/2011 19:42

Yes I also am more up for it around ovulation time. DH and I are pretty highly sexed so we have never really dipped below 2/3 times a week as an average even when are kiddies were babies. I look forward to being insatiable in my 40's if I am at a low point now!