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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish that schools wouldn't reward children for things they have no control over

286 replies

dealer · 11/05/2011 21:27

Attendance, they give out certificates for 100% attendance each half term. Ds would occasionally have a day off for illness, dd1 hasn't had a day off since reception, she's in year 4. Ds wasn't assed, dd1 has mild sn and despite the fact that I tell her that she's really lucky to be so healthy, loves getting up in assembly for the certificates and feels it's an achievement.

They've now changed it, since it wasn't 'fair' and you will now only get a certificate for most improved attendance. Dd1 wants to know how to get one of these. Not sure how you improve on 5 years 100%.

And I hate it when they award class attendance, so the poor kid who has genuine health problems or parents who aren't very good at getting them there, get highlighted as bringing the class percentage down.

Walk to school week soon. We used to walk to school all the time when I was a sahm because we live 10 mins from the school. Now though, I work as a delivery driver so it's somewhat essential to take my vehicle with me. I need to drop dd2 at nursery 4 miles away 10 minutes later now as well, since the school nursery had no room for her.

Dd2 will be in school in September, so I could in theory walk them then and then go back for the van. But that would utterly pointless since I would then drive the van straight past the school again, same polution etc, and waste 20 mins work time.

Doesn't stop dd1 waving 'walk to school' leaflets at me, and telling me she needs to earn stickers though. Pointing out great facts such as car occupants are exposed to 3 times as much pollution on the school run as walkers. Don't really understand that since they're only in the car for 2 mins.

They usually walk home, but apparently that doesn't count.

Anyway it's all arbitrary stuff that kids are supposed to be motivated to do that they can't do anything about.

OP posts:
pickyourbrain · 12/05/2011 21:15

No, I dont think so. Both our girls are reeally chuffed when they get their attendance rewards at half term. They know theyve earned it and the eldest one usually says 'im pleased I bothered the other day when I had period pains/ toothache etc...'

kaumana are you going to tell me what you meant?

vmcd28 · 12/05/2011 21:15

Pick if your dd goes to school unwell, which you said she does, then no she shouldn't be rewarded for that.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/05/2011 21:18

It sounds as if you are saying 'well my DD is being treated badly so everyone else should too' pickyourbrains

Why not desire all children to be treated fairly rather than wishing them all to be treated badly?

confuddledDOTcom · 12/05/2011 21:19

How is going into school every day when you're well enough an achievement? How can you be proud you "earnt" that? Do you earn good health???

kaumana · 12/05/2011 21:20

pick - are you having a laugh?

pickyourbrain · 12/05/2011 21:20

Okay, okay, If i'm completely honest - I'm envious of all the mums who keep their kids off at the drop of a hat when I have never been able to. My dd tells me she doesnt want to go to school and I tell her she has to, unless shes really ill. I know its for the best and it's teaching her a good lesson about work ethics but it is hard. She battles on while watching other kids having days off willy nilly. She gets no recognition for it, along with no recognition for sports acheivements.

pickyourbrain · 12/05/2011 21:23

vmcd28 No, I sai she goes to school with coughs and colds and unexplained tummyaches.. She knows that if they continue once she's at school I will pick her up. Are you telling me I should keep her off every time she gets a cold?? If so I'm afraid you and I dont live in the same world.

kaumana NO! I dont get it. Please explain what the hell you mean?

tethersend · 12/05/2011 21:23

pickyourbrains, nobody is saying that children aren't pleased to receive the attendance award- but they have very little control over whether they get one or not. I think rewarding attendance at secondary level has more value, as children become more in control of it- it sounds like your eldest DD is old enough to be more responsible for getting herself to school.

At primary level, children are not responsible for getting themselves to school.

Original poster
dealer · 12/05/2011 21:24

Dd1 gets these awards for always being there, and we're carry-on with mild problems people too.
I don't think she ought to be rewarded though, I decide if she's well enough for school, and she usually is. Has a bizarre talent for being sick on a Friday night and then well enough by Monday for school.

OP posts:
pickyourbrain · 12/05/2011 21:24

thefirstmrsdevere Why not reward all the children for their efforts and acheivements..?! That would be fair then wouldnt it?

Original poster
dealer · 12/05/2011 21:27

Yes it would. It's not due to the child's effort that they got to school, so therefore shouldn't be rewarded.

OP posts:
tethersend · 12/05/2011 21:27

"My dd tells me she doesnt want to go to school and I tell her she has to, unless shes really ill."

Well, that's just good parenting. It's you who should receive the award though, not your DD Wink

pickyourbrain · 12/05/2011 21:29

Ooh I would love that Grin

chillistars · 12/05/2011 21:33

I have to drive to work or I am late - I drop my DS off at school and then have 10 minutes to get to the school where I work. Therefore I have to use the car; to get round the not doing any walking to school we park about 1/4 of a mile from school and walk across the fields; that makes my journey to work short enough to be possible and he gets some exercise.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/05/2011 21:35

Yes pick exactly.

Attendance awards dont do this.

kaumana · 12/05/2011 21:35

pick -thought you might

pickyourbrain · 12/05/2011 21:37

what is your problem exactly? No one else on here is feeling the need to target me with criptic accusations...

kaumana · 12/05/2011 21:53

I am targeting your comments , I wasn't aware that I was being cryptic. I disagree with the majority of your comments which I'm sure you do mine. That is all, feel free to comment on my posts.

Blu · 12/05/2011 21:53

PickYourbrain - yeah - my boy BATTLES his way into school. He insisted he go in within a week of having an operation to cut right thorugh the bone in his leg. He never malingers, hates missing school for appointments, is miserable if he has to stay at home with flu.

But when he does battle in, unlike your dd he can NEVER get an attendance award because his consultant appointments cannot happen out of schoo time. Except that now he can because his school sensibly, unlike you, recognised the inherent unfairness in a system where equal effort is not equally rewarded and absence associated with disability no longer counts against them.

As I said, I think the awards are nonsense anyway, but DS sees people gloating over them so feels differntly.

Of course your dd should be recognised fo sporting achievements - that IS an achievement. Simply not catching flu isn't!

pickyourbrain · 12/05/2011 22:06

But whats with all the "are you having a laugh?" and "youve had your fun" and "I thought you might" that's not disagreeing, thats being weird and cryptic... And how am I changing my tactics?! I dont have 'tactics' I'm saying what i think... Confused

blu she doesnt get he awards Hmm They dont do them at her school.. because of a minority who don't stand a chance of being able to get them

Dancergirl · 13/05/2011 09:41

Katz - yes I can and I apologise. I have re-read my post and it doesn't come across at all how I meant it. I did not mean or imply in any shape or form that children with long-term illnesses will not achieve. I meant they will probably find it harder and have to put in a lot of extra work to catch up. That's all. I didn't mean to offend anyone.

I had a friend at school who had ME and had months off school during GCSEs. She worked incredibly hard to catch up and ended up with fairly good exams. Whether she would have done better if she hadn't been ill...? Who knows?

I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. I think these days schools actually have it incredibly hard and having parents complain about relatively minor issues doesn't help. At my dds' school they're doing a fantastic job and I am incredibly impressed overall.

You can't blame the school really. They're only trying to get their attendance figures up, nothing wrong with that. They're not saying bring your sick child to school, far from it, they're just trying make parents think twice about having time off from school for non-essential reasons.

katz · 13/05/2011 10:53

dancer - apology accepted, this is one issue i get defensive about mainly because of how upset DD2 gets about not getting this certificate, she has seriously asked not to go to hospital appointments/change to a non-specialist clinic/not go on holiday to be able to have non term time appointments, she's 5.

psisedriteoff · 13/05/2011 10:56

Im glad Ive seen this thread

My dd13yo, is in a class of idiots.

Her class is the worst behaved in the whole school,the behavior comes from 90% of the boys, and 60% of the girls.

Her class, has had, whole form report for a week, numerous times

Whole class detention, a few times

The best is, last week, the boys in her class were caught having a waterbomb fight in the school corridors, now the whole class is on this behaviour scheme thing, where if every lesson they behave all week, on Fridays they get let out for dinner 15minutes earlier Confused

My DD has never even had a C1, C2, C3, C4, C5 [these are like bads in your diary, C5 being the least serious, C1 being really bad]

The only ever detention she has had, is because the whole class has received one

In fact her diary is covered in goods [very good work, brill homework etc]

There has been talk of the boys being split up, and transfered to new classes, this talk has been on going for about a year, it is still at the moment just talk

Pisses me right off, my DD always has a good report, is always well behaved, yet her, as well as her similar natured friends in her class are all being punished for the rest of the class"s inability to behave

Its seams, when her class was decided before they started secondary, the school has literally hand picked the naughtiest kids from each primary school, and chucked them all together, barr the exception of a handful of good kids

Everytime, these kids are acting dicks, the teachers attention is solely on that child, while my DD and her friends education is taking a backseat

housemum · 13/05/2011 11:01

Certificates should be for things the child can control. Whether that be for sporting achievement, writing, or listening without fidgeting doesn't matter, it is something achievable and within the child's control. A fair system rewards achievements of all types, but it is not the "let's give everyone an award so they feel good" approach that someone above referred to with the Spotlight assemblies.

Attendance is outside the child's control (until they are old enough to get there themselves) - if you have a child that really wants to learn (and is primary age so relies on parents) but the parents for whatever reason keep them off school, I wouldn't imagine they would be the sort of parents to be bothered to change their ways if the child comes home saying they want to get a 100% attendance certificate next term. Direct measures need to be taken to encourage attendance depending on the family circumstances.

Dancergirl · 13/05/2011 11:14

That's really sad Katz and I can see how it's a raw nerve with you. Does she get awards for other things?

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