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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared about the news that i'm expecting baby no 6???

113 replies

womanwholivedinashoe · 10/05/2011 18:38

I have just found out that i'm pregnant, in fact just 5 weeks with baby no 6. Baby no 5 is just 6 months old and although unexpected (we were using precautions) and scared s*less of how hard it might be. DD1 21, DS1 19, Ds2 14, DS3 8, DS4 6 months. The two oldest have left home and its not as if I have 5 children all tiny but having teenagers is no picnic by any means and the reaction to the news hasn't been great :( GP's have taken it even worse :( . DH over the moon!!! AIBU to ask people to just accept our decision to have baby no6 and be happy about it??

OP posts:
Yellowstone · 12/05/2011 18:25

OP I'd ask for a scan soon if poss. Chances of twins increases with age and/ or number of previous pregnancies as far as I remember! I wangled one at eight weeks.

I think your age gaps are great. My eldest is 21 too and the eighth is 9. The first six were born too close together (in less than seven years), not sensible in retrospect but they've all done fine.

Congratulations; 42 is not old!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/05/2011 18:27

Capricorn. There are many single people, those with one child or two who have a much larger carbon footprint that my largish family.

I know of small families who take several long haul holidays a year and run two large cars, eat imported food etc because - having a small family they can afford these luxuries.

That is there choice. They choose to make their hole in the ozone layer by travelling and eating nigerian strawberries.

I make mine by producing a large amount of incredible children. I havent been on a plane in over twenty years and the last long haul flight I took was as a two year old returning from a distastrous attempt at Australian immigration by my parents.

Being on a low income means lots of recycling, no wasting food, no holidays and cheap seasonal food.

Its really not as simple as large families bad, small families good.

You are entitled to your opinion but if not swearing or ranting does not a polite post make.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/05/2011 18:29

I also think your figures are a bit off. A uk family of 8 = an entire Indian Village? Hmm

bronze · 12/05/2011 18:29

Huge congratulations

I'm very Envy

Can I suggest the 4 or more forum

Capricorn I'm not sure this is th e place to bring up the debate anyway. The OP was already pregnant when she posted. You are just being rude

WassaAxolotlEgg · 12/05/2011 18:32

hmm, in view of yellowstone 's post, maybe investigate twin insurance policies before a scan?

Northernlurker · 12/05/2011 18:39

Capricorn - the op asked is she was bu to be scared. Your response is 'yes you are destroying the planet' Hmm Not really seeing how that helps with the scared thing tbh......

EggyAllenPoe · 12/05/2011 18:41

i think large families offer much better value for CO2 anyway...economy of scale and all that.

You still get comments at 3 kids - 'are you having any more'? and 'gosh, how do you manage??'

mathanxiety · 12/05/2011 18:42

A woman I know who has 6 children was an only child herself and always wanted a large family as she felt quite lonely as a child..

'The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley'

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/05/2011 18:44

Hello Eggy you back then Smile

lollymad · 12/05/2011 18:47

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I too am very, very Envy. Have 2 - 1 of each but would love another. DP has flat out put the kybosh on the idea for now, but I keep hoping..!

NorksAreMessy · 12/05/2011 18:48

Congratulations OP I am Envy and thrilled for you - evry child is a blessing and two parents who love their DCs is a blessing too.

And welcome Eggy back to us, have been thinking of you.

capricorn76 · 12/05/2011 19:30

If the OP just wants everyone to congratulate her maybe posting in AIBU wasn't the best place. Maybe one of the being pregnant/giving birth sections wouldv'e been better?

Also it's not like I advised her to have an abortion! I'm happy for her and believe the child will be loved and looked after. I just said that I thought 6 was too many, I was then asked for my reasons and thus stated them. She herself said she's scared so she must also believe on some level that 6 is a lot for one family. I don't think I'm the only person who believes this either but I'm betting that the people who agree with me are too scared to post lest they get their heads bitten off. Anyway as I'm clearly upsetting everyone who believes its okay for everyone on the planet to have 6 kids, I'll back away from the thread....

capricorn76 · 12/05/2011 19:30

If the OP just wants everyone to congratulate her maybe posting in AIBU wasn't the best place. Maybe one of the being pregnant/giving birth sections wouldv'e been better?

Also it's not like I advised her to have an abortion! I'm happy for her and believe the child will be loved and looked after. I just said that I thought 6 was too many, I was then asked for my reasons and thus stated them. She herself said she's scared so she must also believe on some level that 6 is a lot for one family. I don't think I'm the only person who believes this either but I'm betting that the people who agree with me are too scared to post lest they get their heads bitten off. Anyway as I'm clearly upsetting everyone who believes its okay for everyone on the planet to have 6 kids, I'll back away from the thread....

mathanxiety · 12/05/2011 19:33

You could feel scared because of age or because you had some complication like GD before, or because you had a birth experience that was a bit rough the previous time. Not necessarily because you thought 6 was too many. After all, you would only feel that way with hindsight.

mathanxiety · 12/05/2011 19:36

Obviously there are people on the planet who have 6 kids or even more; it's not ideal for everyone, and I don't think anyone is claiming it is. No need to exaggerate.

Original poster
womanwholivedinashoe · 12/05/2011 19:40

Big Momma to Big Momma (in fact there seems to be a few of us) loved your comments thank you and so yes it is possible.

Just been round to see my parents for the first time since I sent DH round to tell them first and get the anger out the way like a coward that really i'm not but with my parents I seem to always be THE child lol.

So GP had been waiting for me!!!!

Apparently I must live in Africa because otherwise he just doesn't understand how this can have happened (must know Capricorn) again and that I must immediately if not on the day of giving birth get sterilized . This might have rendered me to tears if it hadn't been for all your wonderful comments and support and also things that have also been said to you :).

They are fine now that their rant is out the way.

And yes I am very fertile but was single for 7 years so had a break if that helps lol!

No single family follows a mould anymore and I had my first 3 children from my marriage of 12 years had been with him since 18 and he broke my heart when he left :( but you move on and if you're fortunate enough to meet the man of your dreams and fall in love you want to create a little person or persons because you DO have so much love and yes the carbon footprint is ruined now because of me and all the other big mommas but I can't afford to get on a plane with the kids for holidays so that must help my carbon footprint???? lol.

My DD1 would like to say as she is a member of incredibly green party that she is very happy about the situation and that we should plant more trees and stop using the internet so much thats all of us buggered then???? Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
womanwholivedinashoe · 12/05/2011 19:47

Just for the record I utterly feel for ladies that struggle to have babies :( my BF is trying at the moment and telling her was probably harder than telling GP as I know how much it means to her to have those 2 pinks lines on a stick so I do feel for you :(

and I feel so behind in this link as I want to respond to something and by the time I do I read another comment.

Capricorn you are being rude as I never expected ANY congratulations (though very happy I have :) ) but I WAS scared am scared and hearing from ladies that have lived it breathed it has made me feel so much better and for someone who has 5 DC and expecting no 6 i've only just joined but I thought AIBU a valid forum for an opinion???

OP posts:
Becaroooo · 12/05/2011 19:50

Congratulations!

EggyAllenPoe · 12/05/2011 19:52

yes, was a nice holiday and feel much better :) i had tried to post under an assumed name before that but it felt wrong....dishonest.

Even if I had 6 kids, that would make a family average of 1 per person in my/ DHs generation - so still a really small number from that perspective.

Original poster
womanwholivedinashoe · 12/05/2011 19:57

Yellowstone did I say I was scared before TWINS now i'm really scared Grin

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 12/05/2011 19:58

Capricorn, you really need to research what you are talking about before you post.

Birth rates, particularly in western countries, are falling therefore your argument simply doesnt hold any water at all. For the few that have large families are more than balanced out by the smaller families being created, and those that are choosing not the have children at all.

Saying that having a big family is bad for the planet is a sweeping generalisation at best, and ill researched inaccurate tripe at worst!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 12/05/2011 20:07

They are offering bribes in some countries - Italy has a very low rate since more women started using contraception. China is going to scrap the one baby law.

I get a bit Hmm when people do perfectly normal, every day things and then make out they are being noble.

I myself chose to have many children soley in order to populate this part of east london with beautiful people who will become doctors. I think I deserve some sort of medal for being so selfless.

jennifer40 · 12/05/2011 20:41

Im very jealous too, Im 40 now, my youngest is 4 and would love another one, but being to tired for sex is a bit of a problem :-)

Xenia · 12/05/2011 21:19

It's lovely. I have 5 (last one twins) and we had 3 older ones and then the babies. It's great and particularly once they aren't teenagers the older ones are like another set of parents. It will also be much more fun for your 6 month old to have a sibling close in age as it was with our last twins.

Yellowstone · 12/05/2011 22:11

thefirstMrsDV are they all doctors? How many are we talking about?